Number Accurate Comic Strips - Page 5
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154 Results for Number Accurate
View 41 - 50 results for number accurate comic strips. Discover the best "Number Accurate" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday May 14,
2010
Tags #computer, #engineer, #worst user interface, #click, #sell social security number, #overhead view of cubicle, #technology, #engineering
Transcript
Dilber thinks, "The world's greatest engineer prepares to do battle with the world's worst user interface." Dilbert thinks, "I hope that did something." Computer says, "Your social security number has been sold."
Wednesday November 24,
2010
Tags #computer, #headset, #marketing research, #social security number, #bank pin, #maiden name, #poverty, #identity theft, #technology
Transcript
Dogbert says, "Hello, this is the Dogbert Market Research Company. May I ask you some totally harmless questions?" Dogbert says, "What is your social security number, bank pin number and mother's maiden name?" Dilbert says, "What exactly are you researching?" Dogbert says, "Poverty rates. I'm shooting for 100%."
Sunday December 09,
2007
Tags #cost estimate, #user requirements, #estimate, #go over budget, #fired, #Number, #ten million dollars, #know cost, #input
Transcript
The Boss: "I need a cost estimate on your project." Dilbert: "I have no idea I haven't even gathered the user requirements." The Boss: "Don't worry I won't hold you to the estimate." Dilbert: "Yes you will. You will put it in the plan, forget we had this conversation, and fire me when I go over budget." The boss: "Give me a number or I'll fire you right now." Dilbert: "Okay, it will cost ten million dollars." The Boss: "That's too high." Dilbert: "If you already know the cost why are you asking me?" The Boss: "So you'll feel like you had input." Dilbert: "Is input supposed to feel this bad?"
Tuesday November 27,
2007
Tags #tech writer, #salary, #number of pages, #high volume, #low quality, #hairball, #pocket, #money
Transcript
Tina the tech writer The Boss: "I decided to base your salary on the number of pages you write." Tina: "Fine. I'll give you a high volume of low quality work." The Boss: "Sometimes the best you can do is move the hairball to another pocket."
Monday July 15,
2013
Tags #deception, #business card, #no @ sign, #email, #missing number, #phone number
Transcript
Wally : Mere's my card. Let me know if I can be of further assistance. Coworker: Your phone number is missing a digit and your email address doesn't have an @ symbol. Wally: I didn't say it would be easy.
Wednesday March 19,
2014
Tags #anger, #reports, #cycnical, #accurate worldview, #upset people, #angry guy, #confident in worldview
Transcript
Boss: I'm getting reports that you're being cynical. Dilbert: It's called an accurate worldview. You should try it sometime. Boss: If it's accurate, why are people upset? Dilbert: Said the angry guy to the one who isn't.
Monday April 28,
2014
Tags #business people, #work ethic, #new line, #products, #business plan, #good track record, #useful, #accurate, #make up numbers
Transcript
Boss: I need you to write a business plan for our new line of products. Dilbert: Is that because business plans have a good track record of being useful and accurate? Boss: No, it's nothing like that. Dilbert: Good, because I plan to make up all of the numbers.
Wednesday May 07,
2014
Tags #correct data, #incorrect data, #interactions with boss, #questioning, #totally accurate, #desk, #computer, #office, #technology
Transcript
Boss: Are you sure the data you gave me is correct? Dilbert: I've been giving you incorrect data for years. This is the first time you've asked. Boss: What? Dilbert: I said the data is totally accurate.
Friday November 07,
2014
Tags #egyptians, #engineers, #human resources, #pyramids, #pharoahs, #secrets, #reschedule, #meeting, #historically accurate, #new policy, #business
Transcript
Catbert: Egyptian pharaohs killed the engineers who build their pyramids so they would never share their secrets. Dilbert: No... I don't think they did. Catbert: Really? Dang! Can we reschedule this meeting until I find a historically accurate explanation of our new policy?
Friday February 16,
2018
Directionally Accurate
Tags #projections, #budget, #finance, #math, #excuse, #compliment, #accuracy, #education, #money
Transcript
Boss: Are you confident in your financial projections? Wally: They're directionally accurate. Boss: Your columns don't even add up. Wally: Why is it so hard for you to give a compliment?