Obliviousness Comic Strips - Page 5
Search Filters
Year
- 2023
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
122 Results for Obliviousness
View 41 - 50 results for obliviousness comic strips. Discover the best "Obliviousness" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday November 05,
2014
Tags ceos, leadership, obliviousness, public speaking, media, zero sales, staff resigned, fireing, wisdom, Entertainment
Transcript
Catbert: Our sales dropped to zero because you told the media we have a better product coming soon. And 95% of the staff resigned because you announced plans to fire 50% of them. Maybe it would be better if you never spoke to anyone again. CEO: How would people get my wisdom.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday November 06,
2014
Tags buy things, deception, evil, evil tool, images, lab notes, marketing, obliviousness, presentation, screen, unique sequence, business
Transcript
Dilbert: I discovered a unique sequence of sights and sounds that makes people buy things they don't need. I recommend that we destroy all of my lab notes and rid the world of this evil tool. CEO: You never told him what marketing is? Boss: He didn't need to know.
Monday January 12,
2015
Dilbert's Tube Clothes Distract
Tags clothing, dress code, fashion, human resources, obliviousness, sex appeal, sexiness, co workers, tube clothes, modifications, distarction, corduroy tube, libido killer, business
Transcript
Catbert: Your co-workers are complaining that your tube clothes distract them from work. Dilbert: I can make some modifications so I'm less sexy. That should cut down on the distraction. Catbert: We might not be on the same page. Dilbert: I could wear a corduroy tube. That's a libido killer.
Monday January 19,
2015
Hire People Smarter Than You
Tags insult, insulting, insults, intelligence, managers, obliviousness, Promotion, samrter, perfect manager
Transcript
Boss: Are you interested in becoming a manager? Dilbert: That would never work. Managers are supposed to hire people who are smarter than they are. That's easy for you, but how would I ever find anyone to hire? Boss: I don't understand. Dilbert: And that makes you the perfect manager.
Saturday February 14,
2015
Fifty Tips For Success
Tags Advice, career advice, obliviousness, secret, success, tech millionaire
Transcript
Asok: A 27-year-old tech millionaire published his list of fifty things you need to do to succeed. Dilbert: In other words, he has no idea why he succeeded. Asok: Sure he does. He even has a chart of his top thirty... priorities. Okay, I hear it now.
Saturday February 21,
2015
Boss Has Investment Tips For Asok
Tags Advice, bad advice, diversification, investment, obliviousness, stock market, money
Transcript
Asok: Do you have any investment tips? Boss: You're asking the right person! I can teach you how to time the market, catch a falling knife, and invest in a dead-cat bounce. That's my system. Asok: What about diversification? Boss: I don't invest in anything I can't spell.
Thursday March 26,
2015
Wally's Hobby Is Economic Babble Talk
Tags jargon, babble, economics, obliviousness, economist, economy, hiring
Transcript
Wally: My new hobby is explaining economics using babble talk. It sounds totally real. For example, did you know that the bubble in commodities is creating an oversupply of interest rates? Meanwhile... Boss: Our Chief Economist quit. CEO: Promote that bald guy. He sounds smart.
Friday March 27,
2015
Wally Won't Oversupply Wisdom
Tags economist, Promotion, jargon, babble, deception, smart people, obliviousness
Transcript
Boss: Our CEO wants to promote you to Chief Economist because nothing you say makes sense. He thinks that's the sign of a great economist. Wally: It totally is. Boss: Say something smart. Wally: Whoa! I don't want to create an oversupply of wisdom.
Sunday May 10,
2015
Tags social media, facebook, twitter, pinterest, instagram, obliviousness, technology, communication
Transcript
Boss: Do you have a minute to answer a quick question about social media? Dilbert: I don't have time... Boss: Real quick. One question. Dilbert: Okay, but make it fast, please. I'm late for my meeting. Boss: Okay, the question is this... Can I Instagram a tweet right to Facebook... or does liking something I also favorited automatically pin it to my followers? Dilbert: I'm going to say yes and go to my meeting. Boss: I probably should have asked some follow-ups.
Monday May 04,
2015
Squirrel In The Large Hadron Collider
Tags criticism, obliviousness, ignorance, idiocy
Transcript
Boss: Your comments on my technology strategy are ambiguous. You compared it to a "squirrel looking for a nut in the large hadron collider." Dilbert: So..? Boss: How many nuts are in there?

