Off Color Humor Comic Strips - Page 5

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View 41 - 50 results for off color humor comic strips. Discover the best "Off Color Humor" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #3d colored pie chart, #unexplained rise, #expenses, #binder, #rising expenses, #color copies cost, #i see it, #magic eye doofus

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Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss points to a diagram created with an overhead projector and says, "This 3-D colored pie chart shows an unexplained rise in expenses." The Boss continues, "You each get a binder of colored pie charts so you can help find the cause of our rising expenses." Wally asks Dilbert and Alice, "How much do color copies cost?" Dilbert looks at the binder and says, "I think I see it!" Alice says, "It's not the 'magic eye,' Doofus."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bad grammar, #common useage, #entire language, #grunting, #pointing, #ripped off, #dog obedience

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Dilbert lies on the couch reading a magazine and Dogbert sits on the armrest. Dogbert says, "I'm going to use bad grammar more often." Dogbert continues, "My leadership will change the language through the principle of common usage." Dogbert continues, "And I won't stop until the entire language is reduced to grunting and pointing! Buwaha ha ha!!" Dilbert says, "I really got ripped off by that dog obedience school."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #first cigarette ever, #smoking breaks, #entitled, #3x a day, #smoking, #chatting, #fresh air, #color coded end

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Wally approaches a man and a woman who are smoking. He says, "Here's my first cigarette ever. I'm looking forward to the many smoking breaks I'm entitled to." Wally says, "I'll probably see you three times a day, just smoking and chatting and enjoying the fresh air!" Wally says, "I assume you light the color-coded end, right?" The man and woman drop their cigarettes and say, "I quit."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #canceling life insurance, #Catbert, #evil hr director, #extend vacations, #family freindly, #no longer allow, #remove incentives, #time off for death, #kill relatives

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Catbert stands at his desk and types, "Effective immediately, the company will no longer allow time off for the death of a family member." Catbert continues, "This 'family friendly' policy will remove your incentive to extend vacations by killing relatives." Catbert continues, "And more good news: we're canceling your life insurance so your family won't try to snuff you out either."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frazzled, #meet deadlines, #all day meeting off site, #theroy, #more time to explin

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Dilbert tells the Boss, "I'm totally frazzled. There simply isn't enough time in the day to meet my upcoming deadlines." Dilbert's hair and clothes are disheveled. The Boss says, "Let's have an all-day meeting off-site so I can explain why the deadlines are so important." Dilbert says, "So, your theory is that I'll have more time in the day if you explain something I already know?" The Boss replies, "I don't have a lot of tools here."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #off site meeting, #overworked, #invite staff, #discuss mission statement, #sack race, #state trooper, #shoot any animal

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Dilbert sits at his desk working and talking on the phone at the same time. The Boss asks, "Have you set up our off-site meeting so we can talk about how overworked you are?" The Boss continues, "I was thinking we should invite the reast of the staff, too. We can discuss our mission statement, maybe have a sack race." The Boss adds, "Did you know that if you're a state trooper, you can shoot any animal that's been hit by a car?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #let me telecommute, #called in sick, #total days off, #working for nothing, #ahead in principle, #stupidity is principle

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Dilbert, who is wearing a bathrobe, tells Dogbert, "I convinced my boss to let me telecommute." Dogbert asks, "How?" Dilbert replies, "Well, technically, I called in sick, which comes out of my time bank for total days off." Dilbert continues, "So, technically, I'm working for nothing, but I'm ahead in principle." Dogbert says, "WAY ahead, now that stupidity is a principle."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #banning cartoons, #anti management, #hurt morale, #banning humor, #raise morale, #not funny

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The Boss stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "I'm banning the posting of anti-management cartoons in the office. They hurt morale." Dilbert asks, "You're banning humor to raise morale?" The Boss asks, "Is there something wrong with that?" Dilbert shows the Boss a newspaper and says, "It's the subject of today's cartoon." The Boss asks, "And you see how it's not funny?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #family freindly, #policy, #childless people, #tax, #child care, #lower profit sharing, #time off, #pick up slack, #victim

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Dilbert tells Alice, "This so-called 'Family Friendly' policy is like a tax on childless people." Dilbert continues, "You get child-care; I get lower profit-sharing. YOU get time off for family; I get to pick up your slack . . ." Dilbert says, "I'm a victim, but in some strange way I'm enjoying it." Alice makes a fist and rolls up her sleeve. She says, "Then you'll love this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bearer, #bead news, #tragic, #find humor, #husband, #village people, #coming back, #relationships

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Dogbert stands on Dilbert's desk and says, "I'm going into business as a professional bearer of bad news." Dogbert continues, "I'll try to find the humor that is inherent in every tragic situation." Dogbert stands on a woman's doorstep. The woman says, "I give up. What IS the difference between my husband and the seventies pop group 'Village People'?" Dogbert says, "They're coming back."