One Objective Comic Strips - Page 5
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1000 Results for One Objective
View 41 - 50 results for one objective comic strips. Discover the best "One Objective" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday May 21,
1997
Tags folded arms, important one, physically impossible, third project, finish both products
Transcript
Dilbert stands at the Boss's desk and says, "It is physically impossible for me to finish both of my projects on time. Which one is more important?" The Boss says, "Hmm . . . If I absolutely HAD to choose between them, I'd say . . . Do them both on time." Dilbert says, "Wow. When you do that with your arms, it creates the illusion that you're thinking." The Boss says, "What you need is a third project."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday June 06,
1997
Tags Dogbert, bearer bad news, wally fired, videos, stealing stuff, one percent raise
Transcript
Dogbert says, "Wally, your boss asked me to tell you . . ." Dogbert shouts, "You're fired!!! And they have secret videos of you stealing stuff!!!" Wally looks shocked and his tie stands up straight. Wally covers his eyes and says, "This can't be true." Dogbert replies, "It's not. But watch how happy you are when I tell you about your one percent raise."
Saturday July 19,
1997
Tags famous person, sandra bullock, kevin spacey, eats bacon, kevin who eats bacon, one degree away, close to fascinating
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his PC. Ratbert says, "Give me the name of any famous person." Dilbert says, "Sandra Bullock." Ratbert puts his hands to his temples, closes his eyes and thinks. He says, "Sandra Bullock was in a movie with Kevin Spacey... and Kevin Spacey eats bacon." Ratbert says, "See that? Everyone on Earth is only one degree from someone named Kevin who eats bacon!" Dilbert says, "That is SO close to being fascinating."
Friday August 22,
1997
Tags ratbert, pager, vibrate, yeehaaa, no one paged, vibrating body
Transcript
Dogbert straps a pager to Ratbert's back. "Ratbert, I want you to wear this pager at all times. I'll set it to vibrate." Ratbert screams and vibrates. Dogbert says, "No one has actually paged you yet." Ratbert lies on his back on the floor and says, "It gets better?"
Saturday November 22,
1997
Tags new fog, rolling in, mean one thing, time to reorganize
Transcript
A cloud moves towards Alice and she says, "A new fog is rolling in." Dilbert sits at his computer, his head obscured by fog. "This can mean only one thing." The Boss walks up to Carol, fog pouring from his ears and says, "Carol, schedule a staff meeting. It's time to reorganize the department."
Thursday December 11,
1997
Tags lower opinion, time bombs, ruin magic, kill me, one kiss, no tongue
Transcript
Dilbert and his date go for a walk, holding hands. She says, "Sooner or later you'll say something that will lower my opinion of you." Dilbert grunts. She says, "Men are like bombs. At any moment you'll say something that will ruin the magic." Dilbert slips and says, "I'm an engineer." She screams, "Aaaaargh! Kill me! Kill me!" He says, "I'll give you one kiss. No tongue."
Saturday February 21,
1998
Tags Catbert, evil hr diretor, personal lives, strict dress code, homes, one less decision, make every day
Transcript
At the staff meeting, Catbert says to Dilbert and Wally, "your personal lives reflect on this company." Catbert continues, "From now on, a strict dress code will be enforced in your homes." At home Dilbert says to Dogbert, "On the plus side, it's one less decision I have to make every day." He's wearing a coon skin cap, suspenders, a tu-tu and knee-high boots.
Saturday March 14,
1998
Tags call back, one hour, time zone
Transcript
Dilbert is walking by the Boss's office. He hears the Boss say, "I'll call you back in one hour, Irene." The Boss says, "You're in a different time zone, so you'll get the call in... um... three hours." Dilbert stops to listen. The Boss's eyes bug out in confusion and he says, "Really? You're three hours ahead? Then that means... whoa!.. you're freaking me out here!"
Wednesday April 08,
1998
Tags request denied, information servvces, non standard computers, replacement, discard the old one, trash declined, no computers
Transcript
Man tells Wally, "Request denied. The information services department does not upgrade non-standard computers." Wally says, "It's not an upgrade. It's a replacement." Man says, "Our policy is that it's an upgrade unless you discard the old one." Trash man tells Wally, "Your trash is declined. Our policy is 'no computers'."
Monday May 18,
1998
Tags Comic Strip, Dogbert, pippy the ziphead, artwork, one joke, reader, cram art
Transcript
Dilbert stands next to Dogbert while he sits at a table drawing. Dogbert says, "I'm creating a comic strip called 'Pippy the Ziphead.'" Dogbert continues, "I'm cramming as much artwork in there as possible, so no one will notice there's only one joke." Dilbert sits next to Dogbert, peruses the cartoon and says, "The joke is on the reader, isn't it?" Dogbert responds, "I'd better cram some more art in there."