Personality Comic Strips - Page 5

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58 Results for Personality

View 41 - 50 results for personality comic strips. Discover the best "Personality" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2003's comic on:


Tags #excellent visibility, #secret, #created mindless replica, #totally real

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Dilbert and his Visibuddy are both sitting at one computer. The Boss approaches and says, "Your visibility has been excellent lately. What's your secret?" Dilbert turns and responds, "I created a mindless replica to attend meetings. He has no personality whatsoever." The Boss exclaims, "Wow! You look totally real." The Visibuddy responds, " Hee hee! Burn, dude."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 2004's comic on:


Tags #flaming #$%!!?, #email personlaoty, #really time preson, #miserable clump, #decaying compost

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"Tina, why did you call me a flaming #%!!?" "I'm so sorry." "That was my e-mail personality. My real-time personality is kind and gentle." "Oh. Okay." "Never speak to me again, you miserable clump of decaying compost!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"I got your overly brief e-mail, which obviously means you hate me and everything I stand for!" "I was in a hurry and didn't want to make you wait for a reply." "Well, okay, but I still have residual hatred that I'll need to transfer to some other aspect of your personality." "Fair enough."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2009's comic on:


Tags #vacation, #delegating, #excuses, #volunteering, #cruel, #mean

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The boss says, "Alice, you'll be acting manager next week while I'm on vacation." Alice says, "I can't. I'll be in a training class all week." The boss says, "Dilbert, you'll?" Dilbert says, "I'll be at a customer site all week." The boss says, "Carol..." Carol says, "I'll be getting my tubes tied." The Boss says, "Asok..." Asok says, "I'm going to my grandmother's funeral in India." Wally says, "Yes? Is there something you need me to do?" The Boss says, "Attend a funeral in India. Tell everyone you're Asok and you had a horrible accident." The boss says, "Tell them the acid destroyed your hair and your personality." Wally says, "That took an ugly turn."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 2004's comic on:


Tags #girlfriend, #two probelms, #looks, #personlaity, #extreme makeover, #fascinated by new person, #9 good tsories, #social liability, #relationships

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Dilbert: why can't I find a girlfriend? DOgbert: you have two problems: your looks and your personality. Dilbert: Hmm,two itsn't bad. I can fix my looks by getting and extreme makeover. Dogbert: you'll still need to improve M.T.T.S.F. Dilbert: What? Dogbert: mean time to story failure: Its a measure of ho long you can be fascinating to a new person. Dogbert: Ive been counting and you only ave nine good stories after you use them up youre a social liability. Dilbert: I saw a horse kick a woodchuck over a fence. Dogbert: still only nine.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 2014's comic on:


Tags #drinking, #hiring, #personality tests, #sales, #sales personnel, #sociopaths, #storytelling skills, #morgue, #selfie, #dead guy, #super drunk, #hired, #sales person, #new hire, #business

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Boss: I can tell a lot from an applicant's storytelling skills. So tell me a story. Man: Last week, I broke into a morgue and took a selfie with a dead guy. But in my defense, I was super drunk. Boss: I hired a new salesperson.

Selfish Team Player

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Selfish Team Player - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 2015's comic on:


Tags #hypocrisy, #team, #semantics, #flaw, #personality disorder, #success, #selfish, #business

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Asok: If being selfish is necessary for success, how can I claim to be a team player? Wally: I like to use a tool called hypocrisy. Asok: That is actually a character flaw. Wally: Oh. No wonder people are so prickly about it.

False Sense Of Urgency

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False Sense Of Urgency - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 02, 2016's comic on:


Tags #guest artist, #managers, #motivation, #personality disorder, #sociopath, #strategy, #john glynn

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Boss: I don't think I'm doing enough to create a false sense of urgency. Catbert: Are you still a sociopath? Boss: That's the easy part. Catbert: Now add a meaningless deadline and some fear.

Dinner With A Social Justice Warrior

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Dinner With A Social Justice Warrior - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 2016's comic on:


Tags #sjw, #internet, #personality, #political correctness, #politically correct, #flirting, #insult, #masculinity, #technology, #psychology

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Man: I'm a social justice warrior. That means I'm on our side. Do you want to go to dinner with me? Alice: No, thanks. I'm into men. Man: I am a man. Alice: Don't make me turn around and prove you wrong.

The Virus Afterlife

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The Virus Afterlife - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 2016's comic on:


Tags #soul, #conscience, #morality, #morals, #sentience, #life, #death, #existence, #medical

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Dilbert: I couldn't find any evidence that I have a soul, so I built an artificial one and put it in a drone. When my physical body dies, the drone will upload my memories and personality to the cloud to live forever. Woman: Your soul will be trapped in a server? Dilbert: No, I wrapped it in a virus so I can travel.