Pillow Comic Strips - Page 5
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Dogbert sits on his pillow. Ratbert says, "I'm writing a short story for people who don't have much patience." Ratbert reads, "Blah, blah, blah. Whatever, blah, blah, etcetera, etcetera." Ratbert says, "If it's a commercial success, the sequel practically writes itself."
Dilbert sits on a pillow on the floor working on his laptop. Dogbert tells him, "I'm going into business as a financial advisor." Dilbert says, "Sounds hard." Dogbert says, "It's easy. I'll tell all my clients to invest in the 'Dogbert Deferred Earnings Fund.'" Dilbert asks, "Isn't that a conflict of interest?" Dogbert replies, "Only if I show interest in the client."
Dogbert sits on his pillow thinking, "'Corn starch' . . ." Dogbert thinks, "Stores sell it, but who buys it?" Dogbert thinks, "Who irons corn anyway?"
Dogbert sits on his pillow. Ratbert approaches him with a notebook and pen and says, "I'm going to interview successful people and write a book of their tips. I'll start with you, Dogbert." Ratbert writes in his notebook as Dogbert says, "Set your alarm clock to go off every hour. Keep a big vat of 'Jell-O' by the bed. When the alarm goes off, stick our head in the 'Jell-O' and yell, 'Boy, I'm tired!'" Ratbert walks away saying, "Thanks!" Dogbert thinks, "Beware the advice of successful people; they do not seek company."
Dogbert sits on a pillow by the fireplace. Dilbert says, "I'll be back late. I have a date with Sharon to grout her bathtub." Dogbert asks, "You call that a date?" Dogbert says, "Last week you cleaned her rain gutters and painted her house . . . The week before, you installed her sprinkler system and rebuilt her car's engine." Dogbert asks, "Don't you think she might be using you?" Dilbert replies, "Well . . . At least I get lunch out of the deal." Dogbert asks, "She actually prepares food for you?" Dilbert carries a bag and a tool box. He replies, "No, bag lunch. I get to eat it during break."
Dilbert sits in his chair watching television. As he clicks through the channels with the remote control, he thinks, "Uh-oh . . ." Dilbert thinks, "I'm paralyzed by the television." Dilbert thinks, "I'm uninterested in the shows, yet I can't stop clicking through all the channels." Dogbert sits on his pillow in the other room. Dilbert shouts, "Dogbert! Help! Come quickly!!" Dilbert yells, "Do something! Knock the remote out of my hand!!" Dogbert tackles Dilbert's arm and the remote control flies out of his hand. Dilbert stands up and cries, "I'm free!! I'm free!!" Dogbert sits on the hassock clicking through the tv channels.
Dogbert sits on his pillow. Dilbert enters the room holding a dust mop. He tells Dogbert, "I'm going to dust." Dogbert's ears fly up. Dogbert runs out of the room. Dilbert dusts a table. Dilbert dusts a lamp. Clouds of dust begin to rise. Dilbert dusts a picture and the dust clouds get bigger. A cloud of dust fills the room. Dilbert thinks, "I'm starting to think there's a trick to this." Dilbert sits in his chair covered with dirt. Dogbert asks, "Did your mother teach you to dust that way?" Dilbert replies, "We didn't call her the 'Grey Fox' because of her clever brownie recipe."
Alice and Wally sit at a table eating lunch. Alice says, "I've hit the glass ceiling. I'll never be promoted again." Wally replies, "That's because you're not willing to 'play the game.' You have to look and act like the person who can promote you." In order to look like the Boss, Alice shapes her hair into two points, puts on a suit and stuffs a pillow under her shirt. The Boss sees her and thinks, "Ooo la la!" Alice thinks, "This had better work."
Dogbert sits on a pillow listening to the radio. Dilbert says, "Dogbert, come look at our new car!" They stand next to an automobile. Dilbert says, "It has all of the most important safety features." Dilbert continues, "You got your anti-lock brakes, your reinforced bumpers, your automatic seatbelts and your driver-side air bag." Dogbert says, "I didn't hear 'passenger side air bag' in that list." Dilbert says, "It turns out that it's only economical to save the person who makes the buying decision." Dilbert says, "But I got a baby seat in case you want to use that." Dogbert says angrily, "Well, thank you for letting me choose between humiliation and death. I've got a better idea." Dogbert drives the car and Dilbert sits in the passenger seat. Dilbert says, "Ooh . . . Just wait until MY turn." Dogbert says, "Watch me ram that car."
Dogbert sits on his pillow listening to a radio. He hears Dilbert shout, "Yes!" Dogbert asks, "What happened?" Dilbert replies, "Nothing. I'm just practicing in case something good ever happens to me." Dilbert explains, "I'll yell 'Yes!' and pump my arms in a distinctive way." Dilbert continues, "Now I'm working on incorporating this spinning motion." Dilbert spins around and shouts, "Yes!!" Dilbert falls out the window. Dilbert lies face down in the grass. Dogbert stands over him and says, "It looks like you've got the 'distinctive' part down." Dilbert says, "Yes!"