Poorly Managed Comic Strips - Page 5

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53 Results for Poorly Managed

View 41 - 50 results for poorly managed comic strips. Discover the best "Poorly Managed" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 2008's comic on:


Tags #competition, #mocking, #salvage joy, #work, #five year plan

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Dilbert: Our competitors just made new five-year plan moot. While we were strategizing, they were doing something I believe they call 'work. On the plus side, I managed to salvage some joy by mocking you. The Boss: Whatever you're doing stop it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 2010's comic on:


Tags #powerpoint, #slides, #presentation, #monkey, #outsource, #pointing, #animals

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Dilbert says, "If we migrate our enterprise applications to the web, and outsource our sales and product development?" Dilbert says, "The entire company can be managed by one monkey." Dilbert says, "Plus a second monkey to look at the powerpoint slides from the first monkey."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 2010's comic on:


Tags #confession, #schedule, #calendar, #lazy, #self-esteem, #annoyed

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Carol says, "For the past five years I've managed your calendar based solely on what would create the least work for me." Carol says, "It all started when you told me to use my judgment to set priorities." Carol says, "In retrospect, you should have hired someone with low self-esteem."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 2009's comic on:


Tags #bank, #buyout, #financial crisis, #economy, #ridicule

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Now that you've run your bank into the ground, I plan to buy it for a dollar." Dogbert says, "In phase two I'll use common business words to insult you for a job poorly done." Dogbert says, "What do you think of that, you big fiduciary bag?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 2003's comic on:


Tags #intern, #cheap boss, #full size cubicle, #half size, #cubicle, #treats poorly, #no budget, #garbage can, #misunderstand

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Asok: "May I move to one of the empty cubicles?" The Boss: "Those are full-size cubicles; interns get half-size cubicles." Asok: "Yes... ordinarily, but there are hundreds of vacant cubicles because of downsizing." The Boss: "I'm not following you." Asok: "They're EMPTY! They will never be occupied. I want to use one." The Boss: "We don't have the budget to turn a full-size cubicle into a half-size cubicle just for you." "GAAA!!! That's not what I... never mind! Forget it!" "Furthermore, I do not believe this is a half-size cubicle."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 2013's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #obliviousness, #innovation, #business

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Boss: How's the innovation going? Dilbert: Amazing. It couldn't be better. Right now it's all happening in my mind. Bit if any of it gets out, I'll let you know. Boss; I think's it's fair to say I managed the bejeezus out of that situation.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 27, 2013's comic on:


Tags #bad treatment, #dating, #honesty, #low self esteem, #mental health, #mixed signals, #therapist, #relationships, #psychology

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Woman: My therapist says I have low self-esteem. Dilbert: I like where this is heading. Woman: I'm drawn to guys who treat me poorly. Dilbert: You sound crazy. Woman: Jerk. Dilbert: In my defense, you send mixed signals.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 2016's comic on:


Tags #dating, #overanalyzing, #asking out, #relationships

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Woman: Do you want to go to dinner and a movie with me on Friday? Dilbert: That plan is poorly conceived. The best time to watch a movie is also the best time to eat. And what are the odds we want to see the same movie? You're a picky eater, so it would be a nightmare to decide where we both want to eat. One of us would have to compromise, and I assume it would be me. I'm offended by your offer to suboptimize my Friday experience. Woman: Do you have a better option? Dilbert: Nope. See you Friday.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 2016's comic on:


Tags #technology, #learning, #education, #tutorial, #frustration

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Dilbert: I love living in a world where everything I need to know is on the Internet. I'll just hop over to YouTube and learn how to use my new app. Perfect! I can choose from over a hundred different tutorials! It will only take me an hour or so to figure out which one refers to my version of the software. Narrator: One hour later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! These videos are poorly labeled! Narrator: Two hours later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! This guy talks too slowly! Get to the point! Narrator: Three hours later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Why are my menu options different from the tutorial? I hate living in a world where everything I need to know is on the Internet.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 2016's comic on:


Tags #time, #time management

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Dilbert: You asked for a breakdown of what I did this month. I wasted 25 percent of my time in useless meetings. I spent 33 percent of my time listening to co-workers complain about other co-workers. I used 11 percent to resend files I already sent. 14 percent went to dealing with a rumor you started by accident. 16 percent went toward working on the wrong things because you communicate poorly. Boss: What did you do with the 1 percent that was left? Dilbert: You just experienced it.