Power Of Certifciation Comic Strips - Page 5

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #power of cute ears, #abuse banking industry, #Dogbert, #large withdrawl, #other peoples accounts

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Dogbert has his ears up and walks down the street. Dogbert thinks, "I will now use my power of cute ears to abuse the banking industry." Dogbert stands in front of a bank teller. Dogbert says, "I'd like to make a large withdrawal from other peoples' accounts." Dogbert drags a huge bag of money down the street. Dogbert thinks, "It was funny when I made her count it twice."

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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss idea, #email system, #stupid idea, #universe, #debate is futile, #nuclear power, #good or evil

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Dilbert and Wally sit at a table. The Boss enters the room and says, "I've got an idea!" Dilbert and Wally think, "We're doomed." The Boss asks, "Why can't we run our inventory database over our e-mail system?" Dilbert thinks, "Fact: that is the stupidest idea in the universe." Wally thinks, "Fact: his comprehension is so limited that debate is futile." Dilbert and Wally both think, "Fact: we could spend hours unsuccessfully explaining why it's a stupid idea." Dilbert and Wally think, "Fact: he would never know if we used his idea or not." Dilbert says, "No problem." Wally says, "We'll get right on it." The Boss walks away thinking, "My work is done." Wally tells Dilbert, "Stupidity is like nuclear power; it can be used for good or evil." Dilbert adds, "And you don't want to get any on you."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cancelled meeting, #dilmom, #effort, #glass half full, #made extra money, #no over time pay, #not funded, #not important work, #optimitic, #power point slides worse, #wast of time, #waste of enery, #worked till midnight, #dilberts mother

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Dilbert helps his mom with her coat. Dilbert says, "As usual, I worked until midnight last night, mom." Dilbert's Mom says, "Well, at least you made some extra money." Dilbert puts his jacket on. Dilbert says, "I don't get paid for over-time." Dilbert and Dilbert's Mom take a walk. Dilbert's Mom says, "Well, at least it was important work." Dilbert says, "Not really." Dilbert says, "My boss made me change my "Power-point" slides, but the changes made them worse." Mom says, "Well. at least you're prepared for you meeting." Dilbert says, "It was canceled." Dilbert and Mom seen in the distance. Dilbert says, "But that's okay, because the project isn't funded anyway." Mom says, "So....you worked for free to worsen a presentation for a meeting that won't happen for a project that doesn't exist?" Dilbert says, "Yup." Mom says, "Well...at least you could travel back in time without having any impact on history." Dilbert says, "Yeah, my glass is half full."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #power supply, #nail in wood, #vacation tomorrwo, #need changes

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Dilbert works on a computer with a screwdriver. A stupid looking man offers Dilbert a piece of wood with a nail in it. The dumb man says, "I didn't know how to design a power supply, so I put a nail in a piece of wood." The man says, "I'm on vacation tomorrow, so I'll give you my files in case you need to make changes." Dilbert holds the wood and looks mad. The stupid man says, "Once I had he idea, it all came together pretty quickly."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cynics annonymous, #fluorescent lights, #higher power, #naive optimism, #perfect emplyee

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Catbert tells Dilbert: "Dilbert, you've become too aware of reality. I'm sending you to 'Cynics Anonymous.'" Catbert continues: "A higher power will help you regain the naive optimism that once made you a perfect employee." Dilbert says: "Why can't the higher power change me while I'm sitting here?" Catbert answers: "Fluorescent lights block his power."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #converging, #corate slogan, #future, #power of internet, #psoriasis, #goose bumps

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The Boss says to the staff, "Our new corporte slogan is..." The Boss continues, "The power of the internet lies in converging the future with the here and now." The Boss then asks, "Goose bumps?" Wally responds while scratching, "Psoriasis."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technical certificate, #new power, #better job, #different comaony, #hired you

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An employee says to the Boss, "Ha Ha! You never should have let me get a technical certification." The employee continues to explain, "I used my new power to get a better job at a different company." The Boss replies, "Tell me again why I hired you?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #good news, #bad news, #power utility, #company, #new vp opeartaions, #offcie, #wheel attached, #generator, #business

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Dogbert says to Ratbert, "Ratbert, I have good news and bad news." Dogbert says to a happy Ratbert, "The good news is I'm starting up a power utility company and you're my new VP of Operations!" Dogbert says to a chagrined Ratbert, "The bad news is that your office is inside a wheel attached to a generator."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #power utility company, #director marketing, #increase revenue, #herbivore

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Dogbert says to a dragon, "Bob, I'm starting a power utility company." Dogbert says to the dragon, "You'll be my Director of Marketing. Your job is to increase revenue." A frightened-looking boy is lying in bed with the covers pulled up to his nose. A lighted lamp is at his bedside. The dragon's tail is sticking out from under the bed and the dragon says, "Normally I'm an herbivore, Billy, but when the lights go off..."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbert power company, #electricity, #hard to find, #california environmentalists

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Dilbert is watching television and hears, "Buy your electricity from the Dogbert Power Company." Dogbert, in front of a TV camera, says, "We generate all of our power with the help of California environmentalists." Two workmen are carrying a man wrapped tightly in a blanket. They're preparing to put the man in the fire in a large furnace. One workman says to the other, "These are getting harder to find lately."