Practiced Yesterday Comic Strips - Page 5

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83 Results for Practiced Yesterday

View 41 - 50 results for practiced yesterday comic strips. Discover the best "Practiced Yesterday" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 2000's comic on:


Tags #not nine, #start at 8am, #ten minutes early, #work start, #late, #tardy, #hour late

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Wally says to the Boss, "I was so motivated by your pep talk yesterday that I came to work ten minutes early!" The Boss replies, "Wally, we start at eight, not at nine." Wally responds, "That's gonna cost you ten minutes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2001's comic on:


Tags #calling in sick, #honesty, #monday, #puked, #puked up organs, #questioned, #suspicious, #vomit, #glah!, #optional guts

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An under-the-weather Alice sits angrily as The Boss says, "I'm a bit suspicious about you calling in sick yesterday on a Monday, Alice." The Boss looks startled as Alice exclaims, "Glah!" and her internal organs fly out of her mouth. Alice says to Dilbert, "Luckily I had lots of optional guts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 2002's comic on:


Tags #celan desk award, #winner, #facilities people, #appeared unused, #higher tax bracket, #asok, #intern, #desk, #took desk

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The Boss points to Asok and says, "Asok is the winner of the $25 'Clean Desk Award.'" Asok responds, "Yesterday the facilities people took my desk because it appeared to be unused." Asok sits on the floor in his cubicle. He thinks, "I hope this doesn't bump me into a higher tax bracket."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2003's comic on:


Tags #selective breeding, #produce offspring, #no biometric impression, #no pulse, #no fingerprints, #no dna

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Wally says, "For thousands of generations the males in my family practiced selective breeding." Wally continues, "The goal was to produce offspring that leave no biometric impression: no pulse, no fingerprints, no DNA." Dilbert asks, "Why?" Wally responds, "We like to ask, 'Why not?'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 29, 1999's comic on:


Tags #last bullet point, #bullet point, #admit wrong, #alice heard wrong, #boss has to admit wrong

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Alice has just presented a document to the Boss. As the Boss reads it, he tells her, "Remove that last bullet point. It's stupid." Alice gasps. Alice crosses her arms and says, "Yesterday, you told me to add that bullet point." She continues, "So either you were wrong today or you were wrong yesterday." The Boss ponders this. Alice pokes her head out of the Boss' office to tell the other workers, "Everyone come quickly! He has to admit he's wrong!" Dilbert and Asok sprint down the hall. Wally's head pops up from behind his cubicle wall, elated. Once the other employees are gathered around her, Alice cues the Boss, "Say it." The Boss responds, "Alice heard me wrong yesterday." Alice is furious as everyone continues to stand around her. Wally says, "It takes a big man to admit Alice is wrong." Asok, cupping his hands to his mouth, yells, "Can you hear us Alice?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2005's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #office efficency, #celebrated, #done forevre, #feel special

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources In order to improve office efficiency, all birthdays will be celebrated on the same day." "Do you mean one clebration per year, or just once and then we're done forever?" "Just once." "Well, at least I'll feel special once. What day is the celebration?" "Yesterday."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 2005's comic on:


Tags #being ceo, #made smarter, #capital of japan, #mitubishi, #genius

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The best part about being CEO is that it made me smarter. Watch this. "The capital of Japan is Mitsubishi." "That's right! You're a genius!" "Yesterday I would have said nine."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 2005's comic on:


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"Wally, after I left the meeting yesterday, did you blame me for the failure of the project?" "I'm getting a bad vibe from people today. That sort of rumor could stain my reputation and ruin my entire future." "How dare you accuse me..." "Well, well. Look who's impeding Wally again."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 2006's comic on:


Tags #project wombat, #project manager, #inviting me, #expertise, #knowledge of expertise

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Yesterday I had a great meeting about Project Wombat. "What?!" "I've been managing that project for six months! How can you have a meeting without inviting me?!!" "Have you noticed that meetings go smoother without any knowledge or expertise?" "Kinda."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 2006's comic on:


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I just saw Mort in his cubicle. I think he's...dead. "I noticed that yesterday." "And you didn't say anything???! Were you thinking he's just as dead tomorrow and someone else can do the paperwork?" "Wait. That's pretty good thinking..." "I was proud of it."