Rare Earth Metals Comic Strips - Page 5
116 Results for Rare Earth Metals
View 41 - 50 results for rare earth metals comic strips. Discover the best "Rare Earth Metals" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share January 28, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert arrives at home carrying a briefcase. Dogbert sits on the armrest of the chair. Dilbert says, "I need your help, Dogbert." Dilbert carries Dogbert to the desk as he explains, "My company is downsizing. They told us to write our own job requirements then reapply for our jobs." Dogbert asks, "Why do you want to keep working for such a lame company?" Dilbert quips, "Loyalty!" Dilbert and Dogbert laugh. Dogbert says, "Good one." Dogbert says, "Okay. You must write your job requirements so you are the only one on earth who fits." Dilbert replies, "Right." Dogbert dictates, "The candidate must have six years experience sitting in a big box being micromanaged by a nitwit." Dilbert adds, "The candidate must have a festering cynicism and an acquired fear of action." Dogbert says, "Good." Dilbert says, "That narrows it to ten thousand employees." Dogbert says, "We'll have to focus on your physical abnormalities."
Share May 11, 2000's comic on:
Marketing Lady: My marketing plan calls for the annihilation of all life on earth. Our only serious competitor is a company that sells tobacco and junk food. Id like volunteers. Asok: I beed some accomplishments for my quarterly review.
Share June 02, 2000's comic on:
The Boss says to Ming, "Ming, everyone says our website is ugly." Ming replies, "Really? Every person on earth said that? Even Tibetan monks?" The Boss meekly answers, "Maybe it was just one person." Ming asked, "And you confused him with the entire planet?"
Share July 19, 2000's comic on:
Pointing to a picture the Boss says, "We'll be shutting down our global comunications business and de-orbiting our satellites." Dilbert raises his hand and says to the Boss, "Question: Wouldn't that create dozens of deadly flame balls speeding toward earth?" The Boss replies, "That's why we're aiming for cities that have lots of swimming pools."
Share September 19, 2003's comic on:
Dilbert: "I recommend that we look at the big picture and view it from 20,000 feet." The Boss: "Drifting.. floating above the Earth.. wait.. a plane is coming right at me! NO-O-O-O!!!" Dilbert: "Maybe you should imagine you're in the plane." The Boss: "GAAAA!! I'm in coach!"
Share July 23, 2012's comic on:
Boss: I just thought of a great idea for increasing workplace productivity. Carol: Does it involve standing near my workplace and yammering while I try to work? Boss: Geez. Who salted the Earth? Carol: Your plan is going great so far.
Share June 19, 2007's comic on:
Dogbert the Green Consultant Dogbert: "Stop eating, breathing, driving, defecating, and procreating." "Sit in the dark and decompose on some garden seeds." "Or do you admit you hate Earth?" The Boss:"A little."
Share June 20, 2007's comic on:
Dogbert the green consultant Dogbert: "Try ramming your SUV into hybrid cars." "That should stop them from using fuel altogether." "You can't save the Earth unless you're willing to make other people sacrifice." CEO: "I'm in."
Share February 22, 2013's comic on:
Boss: Good news! We were the low bidder for The United Nation's asteroid intercept missile. The fate of Earth depends on your combined talents plus my management skills. Wally, you're in charge of fissile material, which I assume is a type of soda.
Share November 17, 2010's comic on:
The man who could not summarize Man says, "It all started 4.53 billion years ago during the Hadean eon." Man says, "I hope you don't mind if I skip over the part where the earth formed by accretion from the solar nebula." Hours Later Man says, "...And that formed what we call the moon." Dilbert says, "Maybe I'll just ask someone else what time it is."