Regular Does Comic Strips - Page 5

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552 Results for Regular Does

View 41 - 50 results for regular does comic strips. Discover the best "Regular Does" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 2011's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #another anonymous email, #correlation, #employees, #link to article, #worlds worst boss, #business

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Boss: Someone sent me another anonymous email with a link to an article about the world's worst bosses. I get one of those emails every time I leave your cubicle. Did you think I wouldn't notice the correlation? Wally: Correlation does not imply causation.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 2011's comic on:


Tags #despair, #office workers, #self respect, #prison, #goals, #slavery, #self inflicted, #angry, #weak

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Wally: Self-respect is like a prison for the soul. Goals are a form of self-inflicted slavery. Boss: Sorry I'm late. Wally: That which does not kill us makes us angry and weak.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 2011's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #wealth, #ceo, #good job, #50 million dollar bonus, #not motivated, #bad genes, #inequality, #dosaprity, #ceo and worker, #unfair wages, #crazy money, #slave wages, #more work, #no rewards, #money

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Carol: What does our CEO get if he does a good job? Boss: A fifty million dollar bonus. Carol: What do I get if I do a good job? Boss: More work. Carol: What's your best guess about why I'm not motivated? Boss: Bad genes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2011's comic on:


Tags #excitement, #gloating, #awesome bob, #dry cleaner, #flying wing suit

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Boss: I'm excited because I have a meeting in a few minutes with Awesome Bob. Everything he does is just a little bit more awesome than what anyone else does. Carol: He's running late because the dry cleaner couldn't get the sushi stains out of his flying wingsuit. Boss: AWESOME!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 2012's comic on:


Tags #absent mindedness, #machinery, #build robots, #wait a week, #forgets

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CEO: Stop everything you're doing and build robots. Dilbert: Let's wait a week and see if he forgets. Boss: Does that work? Alice: It works with you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 2012's comic on:


Tags #office equipment, #upgrades, #servers, #upgrade some, #guard all

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Dilbert: We need to upgrade some of our servers. Coworker: That's dumb. We upgraded two of them last week. Dilbert: Right now we need to upgrade the rest of them. Coworker: Then why did you say we have to upgrade all of them? Dilbert: Well, I didn't. But I think we all agree on what needs to be done. Coworker: Not if you insist on upgrading the servers we already upgraded last week. Dilbert: Gaaaa!!! Kill me with a comet!!! Coworker: Does he ever say anything that makes sense? Wally: There's no way to be sure.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 2012's comic on:


Tags #ineffective, #nemesis, #physics of work, #quarreling

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Dilbert: My old nemesis retired, so I asked Randy to take over that function because he's ineffective at everything he does. Coworker: Huh? Dilbert: The physics of work required that each employee be matched with an anti-employee called a nemesis. Coworker: I don't know who my nemesis is. Wally: Uh-oh. You got a hider. They're the worst.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 30, 2012's comic on:


Tags #dieting & weight control, #funerals, #bereavement policy, #days off, #dies young, #grocery shop, #conflict

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Carol: I've been reading our bereavement policy and I found a problem. I get three days off if my husband eats nothing but unhealthy food and dies young. And I'm the one who does our grocery shopping. Boss: Sounds like a conflict of interest. Carol: I'm glad I'm not the only one who sees it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 02, 2012's comic on:


Tags #inventions, #new app, #ten people created something, #population increases, #potentail value, #enter world, #unoriginal ideas, #agreeing

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Dilbert: Every time I have an idea for a new app, I discover that ten people already created something just like it. As the population of the world increases, the potential value of every idea I have approaches zero. Dogbert: So, it's the entire world's fault that you have unoriginal ideas? Dilbert: Why does your agreeing sound like mocking?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2012's comic on:


Tags #computer software, #free software, #run slow, #upgrades, #office, #cubicles, #free

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Dogbert: Want some free software? Boss: What's it do? Dogbert: All it does is beg you for upgrades. And if you upgrade, then it begs you to upgrade again and so on. And it makes all of you other software run slow. Boss: And it's free?