Ripped Top Off Comic Strips - Page 5

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View 41 - 50 results for ripped top off comic strips. Discover the best "Ripped Top Off" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogebert, #systems adminitrator, #evil system, #private, #compiled binder, #off color humor, #unkind references, #naughty propositions, #heading, #sing

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Wally sits at his computer. Dogbert says, "Wally, did you know your e-mail system isn't private?" Dogbert continues while Wally looks worried. "I've compiled a binder with all your off-color humor, unkind references to co-workers, naughty propositions, and admissions to theft." Wally asks, "Where is this heading?" Dogbert replies, "I'd like you to sing that question while hopping on one foot."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #masters degress, #top colleges, #new hires

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The Boss says, "From now on, we'll only hire people with masters degrees from the top colleges." Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at the conference table. Wally says,"I don't have a masters degree from a top college. I'm insulted by this new policy." The Boss holds up a picture of Wally with a line above his head. The Boss says, "And new hires must be this tall to work here." Wally yells, "HEY!!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #contract employees, #evil totalitarian, #military technology, #north elbonia, #project, #regime, #top secret

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The Boss says, "Dilbert, I hired some contract employees from North Elbonia to help on your project." Dilbert says, "North Elbonia is an evil totalitarian regime. My project will create top secret military technology to use against them." The Boss says, "Sure, but you have to weigh that against the fact that they're willing to work for free."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #communist north elbonian contractors, #top secret military project, #executed for treason, #legal department, #execution instead

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Dilbert waves his arms in the air and says, "I'm a little concerned about your hiring communist North Elbonian contractors to help on my top secret military project." The Boss reads a newspaper and says, "Don't worry. What's the worst thing that could happen?" Dilbert says, "I could be executed for treason." The Boss says, "Talk to our legal department." Dilbert says, Could I opt for the execution instead?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #the boss, #Dilbert, #Wally, #business meeting

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The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We can succeed if each of you will commit to giving 110 percent." Wally says, "That would be ten percent over the theoretical maximum." Dilbert adds, "Can't be done." Wally says, "Plus you have your vacation days and your sick days . . ." Dilbert continues, "Heck, these staff meetings take ten percent right off the top . . . Wally asks, "And what about all the times something unexpected comes up?" Wally says, "I think we could give you . . . What?" Dilbert says, "Forty-three percent." Wally adds, "And that's not a commitment." Dilbert says, "It's an estimate." The Boss asks, "Can we continue the meeting now?" Dilbert replies, "I'm over my estimate for today."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #top executives, #locked, #conference room, #starved to death, #call help, #phone, #trouble, #deciosns, #get outside line

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Alice peaks into Dilbert's cube while he is sitting at his computer terrminal and says, "I just heard that all our top executives got locked in a conference room and starved to death." Dilbert replies, "Why didn't they use the phone to call for help?" Caption: One week ago... Three executives sitting at a table staring at a phone. One, while holding a piece of paper, says, "It's agreed: We dial 83 to get an outside line." Another executive says, "Uh-oh. This one doesn't do decimals."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #launch sequence, #lift off, #cubicle in space, #near moon

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Dogbert and Dilbert are strapped down in Dilbert's cubicle. Dogbert says, "Initiate launch sequence." The cubicle takes off revealing rocket boosters underneath it. Dogbert says, "We have liftoff." The cubicle floats near the surface of the moon. Dilbert says. "I keep waiting for this to seem like a bad idea."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #%#*!!*, #asoks ears, #curse at work, #ears fell off, #like to curse, #vulgarity, #warm up

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Ann sits in a meeting with Dilbert and Wally. Ann says, "I must warn you, I'm one of those women who like to curse at work." Ann turns to Asok and screams several obscenities. Asok's tie and hair fly back in a stiff wind. Ann says, "That was my warm up." Asok says, "My ears fell off!!" Asok looks at the conference table where an ear lays on other side of his paper.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #%#*!!*, #anger, #burning walls eyebrow, #curse, #demonstrate power, #eyebrows burn off, #scream

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Ann sits in a metting with Wally and Dilbert. Ann says, "If you anger me, I will curse at you until your eyebrows burn off." Ann says, "I ll demonstrate my power by burning Wally's left eyebrow." Wally's mouth drops in shock. Ann curses loudly. Wally and Dilbert look at Wally's lap. Wally says, "Ow! Ow! That's not an eyebrow!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #barger, #closed dorr, #curse, #intense enrgy, #new hire, #not a knocker, #pushes

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Tina charges down the hallway pushing people out of her way. Tina says, "Get out of my way, weaklings!" Tina stands in front of the boss' closed door. Tina screams, "This closed door can't stop me! I'll curse it off its #%@!! hinges!" Ann stands on top of the boss's door which has fallen into the Boss's office. There is a person flattened beneath it. The boss looks shocked. The Boss says, "You could have knocked." Ann says, "I'm a barger, not a knocker."