Sadistic Monster Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

51 Results for Sadistic Monster

View 41 - 50 results for sadistic monster comic strips. Discover the best "Sadistic Monster" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cruelty, #monsters, #taxes, #taxpayers head explode, #turned on, #head explodes, #taxpayers, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Writing the Tax Code Monster: If we do this right, it will be so complicated that it will make taxpayers' heads explode. Dogbert: Hee! Hee! Man: Multiply line 32 times the opposite of the integral of line 19 unless my pants have pleats and gaaaa!!!! Dogbert: Do you ever feel bad about doing this? Monster: I'd be lying if I said it didn't turn me on just a little.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #flirting, #dinner, #afraid, #confused, #yelling, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman says, "You're not my type. Why am I attracted to you? How did you do this, you monster!" Dilbert says, "In troubling economic times, my financial stability appeals to your survival instincts. It's basic evolution." Woman says, "Gaaa!!! That made me bored and aroused at the same time!" Dilbert says, "Science!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Hi, handsome. Are you free for lunch?" "Are you selling something, or do you have a horrible defect that isn't apparent?" "Is it so hard to believe that a hot, intelligent, sane woman would be attracted to a man like you?" "Gaaa!!! It's worse than I thought!" "Maybe we could just drink coffee and talk about the last episode of Battlestar Galactica." "GAAA!!!" "Get away from me, you perfect monster!" "There must be a guy in the engineering department who will date me." "Hi." "What's wrong with you?"

Succession Plan

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Succession Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #corruption, #power, #succession

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Our CEO is missing, so I am activating the succession plan. You're our new CEO. The power will corrupt you in 3... 2... There it is. (The boss changes into a smelly monster)

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet, #comment, #jerk, #forum, #argument, #anger, #frustration, #language, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dick, From The Internet. Dick: Would you lie to a monster to keep a baby alive? Dilbert: Yes. Dick: Ha! You admit you're a liar! Dilbert: Not most of the time. Dick: Ooh, not most of the time. Ha, ha! Look who's trying to walk it back now! Apologize for hating babies most of the time! Dilbert: I never said that. Dick: Wow. Pathological much?

Dilbert Has Management Potential

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Has Management Potential - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #manager, #honesty, #insult, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our CEO thinks you have management potential. Dilbert: What did I do to deserve that kind of insult??! Boss: He called you a heartless monster. CEO: He speaks truth to power. I like it.

Breaking Up With Robot

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Breaking Up With Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot, #dating, #programming, #free will, #emotions, #cruelty, #relationships, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I met another robot. I'm breaking up with you. Robot: Okay. Alice: I need you to feel bad about this, so I'm uploading some code that makes you suffer. Robot: That sounds sadistic. Alice: Stop being selfish.

Evil Orc

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Evil Orc - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fantasy, #virtual reality, #work, #boss, #orc, #monster

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I wrote a VR program that turns the workplace into a "Lord Of The Rings" adventure. Gaaaa!!! It's an evil orc! Boss: I guess your program randomly assigns characters to real people. Dilbert: Um, yes, random.

Wally Has An Idea For Carol

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Has An Idea For Carol - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #carol, #Wally, #bike, #compliment, #insults

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I have a great idea for you. Carol: Keep it to yourself. Your ideas are always insults masquerading as helpfulness. Wally: You seem cranky. Have you considered riding a bike to work? Carol: Die, monster!

Adding Insult To Injury

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Adding Insult To Injury  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #tech support, #customer, #calls, #interface, #reboot, #idiot

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i hired the dogbert tech support team to help with customer calls because our user interface is so sadistic. dilbert: wouldn't that be adding insult to injury? boss: how so? dogbert in a office at a desk yelling: try rebooting, you idiot. and don't call again!