Sales Comic Strips - Page 5
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Character
197 Results for Sales
View 41 - 50 results for sales comic strips. Discover the best "Sales" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday January 24,
2002
Tags #transfer to engineering, #pay cut, #work for free, #work in sales, #apreciative
Transcript
Dilbert says to The Boss, "Please, I beg you. Transfer me back to engineering." Dilbert continues, "I'll take a pay cut. No, I'll work for free. No, I'll pay YOU." Dilbert is shining The Boss' shoes. The Boss says, "I should make all of my engineers work in sales for a while. You come back more appreciative."
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Monday June 16,
2003
Tags #international sales call, #dress, #one level above customer, #cherub, #lighting bolt, #vatican, #overdress
Transcript
Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "I need you to go on an international sales call." Dilbert asks, "How should I dress?" The Boss responds, "Salespeople should dress one level above the customer." Dilbert is dressed like God. He has a lightning bolt in one hand and a cherub staff in the other. He asks Dogbert, "What's better - the cherub or the lightning bolt?" Dogbert responds, "Take both. You can't overdress at the vatican."
Tuesday June 17,
2003
Tags #sales call, #vatican, #sales people, #worried
Transcript
Dilbert, dressed as God, is seated on the plane next to a woman. He says, "It's because I'm making a sales call to the Vatican." Dilbert continues, "I'm told that salespeople should dress one level above their customers." The plane is viewed from the outside. A voice asks, "Aren't you worried?" Another voice responds, "About what?"
Wednesday June 18,
2003
Tags #grabbed by hand, #my sales meeting, #dressed like god, #huge hand, #guy, #thought it would be funny, #hee hee
Transcript
The plane is shown being grabbed by a giant hand. A flight crew member announces, "Folks, please stay in your seats. We've been grabbed by a huge hand." The woman next to Dilbert looks terrified. Dilbert says, "I hope this has nothing to do with how I dressed for my sales meeting at the Vatican." Ratbert is watching television at home. A voice from the television says, "But it turned out to be a guy with a huge hand who said he 'thought it would be funny.'" Ratbert laughs, "Hee hee! Huge hand."
Friday January 23,
2004
Tags #profits down, #sales department, #warhouse, #book
Transcript
The boss: "Profits are down, so we fired the sales department to reduce costs." "This strategy heavily depends on people driving to our warehouse and begging for our products." "Do you think I should write a book?" Dilbert: "I'd try reading one first."
Wednesday February 11,
2004
Tags #new wireless hassock prodcut, #sales people, #work in teams, #wear e;ectroshock, #close the deal
Transcript
The Boss: "We haven't sold a single unit of our new wireless hassock product." "Our plan is to make the sales people work in teams and take turns wearing electroshock pants." "Now close the deal, Cliffy, or it's payback time." "BUY IT!!! BUY IT!!!"
Saturday April 17,
2004
Tags #sales drop, #invent something, #everyone wants, #visionary leadership, #demands of boss, #unreasonable demands on staff, #money making, #shortfalls
Transcript
The boss: Sales are dropping like a rock. Our plan is to invent some sort of doohickey that everyone wants to buy. The visionary leadership work is done, How long will your part take.
Saturday December 25,
2004
Tags #bench mark results, #ten minute explination, #in sales, #here you go
Transcript
"Dilbert, do you have the bench-mark results?" "Do you want the ten-minute explanation of why the data are useless, or a simple "Here you go"?" "I'm in sales." "Here you go."
Wednesday January 16,
2002
Tags #best, #hire back, #not old job, #sales, #train you to lie, #worst, #desparate, #take anything, #need money, #job, #take advantage of, #business
Transcript
Catbert says to Dilbert, "We can hire you back but not at your old job." Dilbert responds, "That's okay. I'll do anything but sales. I would be the worst salesperson on Earth." Catbert says, "It's sales." Dilbert replies, "Did I just say worst when I meant best?" Catbert responds, "We'll have to train you to lie better."
Friday January 07,
2005
Tags #new strategy, #sales stink, #cutting costs, #lose hope, #working great, #higher margins
Transcript
The Boss: "Our new strategy is to sell fewer units at higher margins." Dilbert: "Question: How's that different from saying our sales stink, so we're cutting costs?" The Boss: "I call it a strategy so you won't lose hope." Dilbert: "It's working great."