Sent Resume Comic Strips - Page 5

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133 Results for Sent Resume

View 41 - 50 results for sent resume comic strips. Discover the best "Sent Resume" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 30, 2006's comic on:


Tags #best marketing expert, #resume, #nobel prize, #five olympic medals, #marketing biathlon

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"We need to hire the best marketing expert we can find." "Your resume says you've won the Nobel Prize in marketing, and five Olympic gold medals in the marketing biathlon." "What's a marketing biathlon?" "You ski up to people who won't buy your crap and you shoot them."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 2000's comic on:


Tags #candidate for engineering, #resume, #invented e-commerce, #hire now, #team that invented, #teach paul, #to invent things

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "Help me interview a candidate for engineering." The Boss says to Dilbert, "I think he's terrific!" Dilbert thinks to himself, "Uh-oh." During the interview, Dilbert says to the candidate, "According to your resume, Paul, you invented e-commerce." The Boss says, "Wow!" The Boss then exclaims, "I'm going to hire him right now!" Dilbert replies, "Hold on." Dilbert says to Paul, "Paul, you didn't really invent e-commerce, did you?" Paul ansers, "Well..." Paul continues, "Maybe I was...um...part of the team that invented it." Dilbert, now agitated, yells "No one invented e-commerce!" The Boss, completely oblivious to all that 's been said asks Paul, "When can you start?" Dilbert asks the Boss, "Why am I here?" The Boss responds, "Maybe Paul can teach you how to invent things."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 2012's comic on:


Tags #interviews, #10thousand hours, #practice, #expertise, #resume, #job interview, #incompetent menace, #interview practice, #manager resposibility

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Boss: Studies show that it takes 10,000 hours of focused practice to become an expert at anything. According to your resume, you've only had enough database experience to be an incompetent menace. Interviewee: How many hours have you practiced doing interviews? Boss: I don't like where this is headed.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 2012's comic on:


Tags #interviews, #resume, #piece of work, #lie, #exaggeration, #mispelling, #bad format, #failed prodcuts, #salsa dancer, #applicants resume, #handsome fellow, #busted

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Boss: Take a look at this resume. Alice: Ha ha! This guy is a piece of work! Lie... lie... exaggeration... misspelling... bad format... worked on failed products. Ooh! He's also a champion salsa dancer. What a tool! Wait. Why aren't you joining in the traditional mocking of the applicant's resume? Dilbert: I'm waiting to find out if he's the handsome fellow standing behind you. Alice: Scoot over. You're blocking my view of a handsome guy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2008's comic on:


Tags #company sent, #local community, #authorized, #million dollars, #fight for it, #hobos, #alley way

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Dilbert says, "My company sent me to give money to a hobo. It's our way of helping the local community." Dilbert says, "I'm authorized to give a million dollars to one of you." A hobo says, "How do you decide which one?" Dilbert says, "Maybe you could fight for it." The other hobo says, "Say 'go.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 2008's comic on:


Tags #competent, #good judge of people, #hired, #lame resume, #not tall, #job interview, #hired on spot

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The Boss says, "Your resume is lame, but you're tall, so you must be competent." The Boss says, "You're hired. Let me show you around." The Boss says, "I'm what you call a good judge of people."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 2008's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #human reasources, #resume, #sense of desparation, #janitor, #clean toiltes, #bury janitor

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "I've seen your resume and I sense desperation." Catbert says, "Our janitor recently passed away, so I have a job for you." A man says, "You want me to clean toilets?" Catbert says, "No, I want you to bury the janitor."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 2008's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #introductions, #erin, #sue boysenberry, #resume, #shrink, #prescribe pills, #be strong, #self employed

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A man says, "Please introduce yourself by saying your name and who you work for." A woman says, "My name is Erin and I work for Sue Boysenberry." The man says, "Wow, lucky. I hear she's great." Another man says, "Can you give her my resume?" One Minute Later The second man says, "I'm so sorry for you." Another woman says, "You must cry a lot." The second man says, "If you ever need to talk to someone, I know a good shrink." The second man says, "He can prescribe pills that will make you feel self-employed." The second woman says, "Be strong. We'll all pray for you." The first man says, "Next."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2007's comic on:


Tags #impressive resume, #promoted, #management, #money and pretige, #doing less work, #opportunity, #abuse subordinates, #fluent managerese, #love interviewing

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CEO: "Alice, your resume is impressive." "Tell me why you want to be promoted to management." Alice: "Well. Obviously there's the money and prestige." "I'm also attracted by the prospect of doing much less work." "The opportunity to abuse subordinates is a big plus." "And I speak fluent Managerese. Watch this..." "Fuh fuh fuh fuh fuh" Dilbert: "Did you really want that job?" Alice: "No, but I love interviewing!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 2007's comic on:


Tags #cansisate, #resume, #spelling errors, #hire a moron, #poor perfromance, #bigger reaise, #interview skills, #crazy good, #manipulate, #job interview

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Dilbert: "Your resume is riddled with spelling errors. Why should we hire a moron?" Candidate: "My poor performance would make you look good in comparison. you'll get a bigger raise if I work here." The boss: "What do you think of him?" Dilbert: "Well, his interview skills are crazy good."