Serial Input Comic Strips - Page 5

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74 Results for Serial Input

View 41 - 50 results for serial input comic strips. Discover the best "Serial Input" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss zone, #donuts on hair, #executive retreat, #failure, #one month, #project, #six phases, #uncertainty, #approval

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The Boss sits at his desk and hands a piece of paper to Alice. The Boss says, "Get my approval at each phase. Finish in one month." Alice looks at the paper and says, "Let's see.. You're on vacation next week. Then you're traveling, then there's an executive retreat..." Alice continues while the Boss appears to listen, "It takes three weeks to get on your calendar... and the project has six phases..." Alice says, "What we have here is guaranteed failure." Alice says, "You've left nothing to chance on this one." Alice says, "I mean, normally there's a bit of uncertainty, but you've..oh." Alice says, "You've slipped into the "Boss Zone" where you can't see or hear employee input." The Boss is a zombie and Alice waves her hand in front of his eyes to no effect. The Boss says to Carol, his secretary, "It's weird. I lost ten minutes, and when I woke up, my doughnuts were gone." A doughnut is stuck on each of The Boss's tufts of hair.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cat bert, #hr dorector, #nput of employees, #morons, #sing loudly, #thinking, #pinball wizard

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Caption: "Catbert: H.R. Director" Catbert says, to Asok, "I value the input of all employees..." Catbert says, "....including the morons. Although in those cases, I cover my ears and sing loudly>" Asok says, "So I was thinking maybe..." Catbert begins to sing, "He's a pinball wizard"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbert consults, #teflon, #body, #shake well, #before using

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Caption "Dogbert Consults" Dogbert hands the boss a spray can. dogbert says, "Spray this Teflon on your body to better ignore the input of your subordinates." The boss sprays. The boss now has a pan for a head. Dogbert says, "Next time, shake well before useing." The boss says, "Who cares what you say?!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice screams, #jaw unhinges, #mad, #frighten hoagie, #lunch room, #break room, #screams at lulu, #frightening

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Alice: LULU, you've stalled my project for long enough, I want your input. NOW!! Alice: I found out my jaw unhinges when Im mad> Asok: You frighten my hoagie.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tuesday, #need by tuesday, #agreement, #yelling now, #unreliable

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Dilbert: "I absolutely need your input by Tuesday." Ted: "Ok." Dilbert: "Considering that you're massively unreliable, I'd like to save time by yelling at you now." "YOU SAID YOU'D DO IT BY TUESDAY!!!" Ted: "Umm.. I was too busy."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #too busy, #bottleneck, #document, #desk, #office

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"I can't do any more work on my project until you give your input, but you're too busy." "There's no polite way to say this: Bill, you're a bottleneck." "Your document is now saying hi to the bottom of the pile."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #scathing letter, #coulmnist, #dongle, #vebal superiority, #feel alive, #dear nutbag

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Carol: I just fired off a scathing letter to a columnist for misusing the word "dongle". Im intoxicated with the feeling of verbal superiority. My sad life has meaning , I feel alive! The columnist: Dear Nutbag, Thanks for the input, Heres a link yo a dictionary, I await your apology

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"You need to work this weekend." "There's no work to do. I'm waiting for input." "That doesn't matter. Strong leaders make their people work on weekends." "Then he asked me what the clueless leaders do, as if I would know that."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"My pointy-haired boss couldn't make it, so he asked me to take notes." "The entire reason for this meeting is to get his input. How the @#$% does taking notes help??" "The...entire..."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #serial personal problems, #in love, #medical school cadaver, #bad decisons, #acting cold, #boyfriend acting cold

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Nancy, the employee with serious personal problems Nancy: "I'm in love with a medical school cadaver." Alice: "Do you ever think that maybe your personal problems are caused by your own bad decisions?" Nancy: "How's it my fault that my boyfriend is acting cold?"