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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 2011's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #frustration, #buy in, #cleaner, #windows don't open

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Dilbert: I can't get buy-in for my project because our CEO hasn't approved it. And I can't get our CEO to approve it until I have buy-in from all of the divisions. On the plus side, now I understand why the windows in our building don't open. Boss: It's cleaner.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 2011's comic on:


Tags #competition (psychology), #stop level meeting, #confidentail, #retribution, #every day retribution

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Boss: Your annual skip-level meeting with my boss is next week. Everything you say about me is confidential. But just to be on the safe side, I scheduled my retribution for every day of the following year.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 2011's comic on:


Tags #anxiety, #death & dying, #could go wrong, #did go worng, #closer to death, #creepy

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Russell: This past week, everything that could go wrong did go wrong. Dilbert: Look on the bright side: you're seven days closer to death. Man: Hey! That's true! Dilbert: It's creepy when that works.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 2012's comic on:


Tags #frustration, #tech support, #ticket window, #evaluated, #how helpful, #trouble tickets, #stubborness, #obsticle, #financial success, #disconnected, #new stranger, #hating

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Tech Support: Hello, this is tech support. May I close your ticket now? Dilbert: Um... no. You haven't helped me yet. I just called you. Tech Support: I'm not evaluated on how helpful I am. I'm evaluated on how many trouble tickets I close. Your stubbornness is becoming an obstacle to my financial success. By the way, if our call gets disconnected, I count that as a closed ticket. Dilbert: I'll make it quick. Tech Support: What? What? I can't hear you. Dilbert: Son of a beach ball! On the plus side, my goal of hating one new stranger every day is right on track.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 2012's comic on:


Tags #gadgets, #google glasses, #Environment, #reasons, #not be your freind, #sweep tweets, #unsettling

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Tina: Those must be the Google glasses that give you information about your environment. Dilbert: Yes, and I see seventeen reasons to not be your friend. I'll sweep your dumb tweets off to the side. Tina: This is unsettling.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 05, 1989's comic on:


Tags #invention, #lawyers, #money

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Dilbert and Dogbert stand on either side of a device. Dogbert says, "I think you should see a lawyer before unleashing this new invention on mankind." Later, Dilbert sits in an attorney's office. Dilbert says, ". . . I'm afraid my new invention will expose me to lots of lawsuits." Dilbert asks, "Will you advise me?" The lawyer replies, "No. Sounds like I can make more money by suing you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #doors, #double doors, #fool, #ventilation ducts, #outside

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Dilbert walks down a hallway thinking, "Uh oh . . . Double doors. One side is always locked and I make a fool of myself trying to open it." Dilbert thinks, "Which side is it? Left? Right? People are watching. Think, think . . ." Dilbert arrives at home looking dirty and disheveled. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "That's when I noticed that the ventilation ducts were big enough for a human to crawl through." Dogbert says, "Too bad they didn't lead to outside."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 20, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #invention, #logical, #creative, #engineer

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Dilbert sits at a table examining a device. Dilbert says, "I'm afraid I'll never figure out how to make my invention work." Dogbert says, "You are too logical. Use the right side of your brain." Dilbert says, "Hmm . . . Yes, I must call on my creative side . . ." Dilbert puts the gadget on the table, hangs his head and says, "Now it doesn't work AND I want to cry."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 1990's comic on:


Tags #dinosaurs, #peter jennings, #brokaw, #tom, #Dilbert, #tennis shoes, #dinosaur

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Dawn the Dinosaur asks Bob the Dinosaur, "What's wrong, Bob?" Bob replies, "I can't deny my feelings anymore." Dawn leans out the window and says, "Not the roof again!" Bob climbs up the gutter on the side of the house and says, "I have to tell people." Bob stands on the roof and yells, "I can't tell the difference between Tom Brokaw and Peter Jennings!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #penny, #doesn't, #dog, #car, #side of road

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Dilbert points to the ground and says to Dogbert, "Look, a lucky penny in the street . . ." As Dilbert picks up the penny a car drives through the puddle in front of Dilbert and splashes him. Dogbert says, "A penny doesn't go as far as it used to." Dilbert is soaked.