Someone Less Fortunate Comic Strips - Page 5
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571 Results for Someone Less Fortunate
View 41 - 50 results for someone less fortunate comic strips. Discover the best "Someone Less Fortunate" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday August 19,
1998
Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #contract employee, #regular employee, #pay less, #motivated, #other than money, #stupidity
Transcript
Caption: Catbert: Evil H.R. Director. Catbert sits at his desk. A male employee with glasses stands. Catbert says, "You've been a good contract employee. We'd like to make you a regular employee." The employee says, "You mean you want to pay me less?" Catbert says, "We want you to be motivated by something other than money." The employee says, "Like...stupidity?"
Thursday August 20,
1998
Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #regular employees, #paid less, #contract workers, #intangible benefits
Transcript
Caption: Catbert: Evil H.R. Director Catbert is talking to the contract employee with glasses. Catbert says, "Yes, regular employees are paid less than contract emplyees such as yourself." Catbert says, "But if you join the company, you'll get many intangible benefits." The employee says, "Maybe your stockholders would like some intangible benefits. They can have mine."
Sunday February 11,
1996
Tags #simple molecules, #powerful chemicals, #simple cells, #powerful life forms, #powerful comouters, #less capable components, #supreme being, #future, #god consciousness, #files, #web browser, #fly
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert walk through the park. Dogbert says, "Simple molecules combine to make powerful chemicals . . ." Dogbert continues, "Simple cells combine to make powerful lifeforms." Dogbert continues, "Simple electronics combine to make powerful computers." Dogbert continues, "Logically, all things are created by a combination of simpler, less capable components." Dilbert lifts Dogbert onto a rock. Dogbert continues, "Therefore, a supreme being must be our FUTURE, not our origin!" Dogbert says, "What if 'God' is the consciousness that will be created when enough of us are connected by the Internet?!!" Dilbert says, "That would certainly limit the types of files I download. I wonder what it would do to response times." Dogbert says, "It's so nice to spend time alone with my thoughts." Dilbert says, "My web browser would FLY!"
Saturday January 02,
1999
Tags #newspapaer subscriptions, #highly relevent, #less enjoyable, #jabbering
Transcript
The boss says, to Dilbert who reads a newspaper, "The company will no longer pay for the newspaper subscriptions." Dilbert says, "I pay for this myself. The news is highly relevant to my job." The boss says, "Is there anything I can do to make it less enjoyable?" Dilbert says, "Just keep jabbering."
Monday April 26,
1999
Tags #lost two pounds, #less of you, #happy, #scrap of encouragemnet, #tapped out
Transcript
It's the morning, Dilbert wears his robe. Dogbert reads the newspaper. Dilbert says, "I lost two pounds!" Dogbert says, "I'm happy. Guess why." Dilbert says, "Because you're supportive?" Dogbert says, "Because there's less of you." Dilbert says, "I was hoping for a scrap of encouragement." Dogbert says, "I'm all taooed out. Try back tommorrow."
Saturday May 22,
1999
Tags #work all night, #finish prodcut, #random act, #management, #seem less random
Transcript
The boss runs into Alice in the hall. He cocks his arm and says, "Alice, I expect you to work all night to finish that project. It's vital!" Alice says, "Aagh!! I'm a victim of a random act of management!" The boss sits behind his desk, looks in a mirror and thinks, "I was sure the arm-pumping would make it seem less random."
Tuesday June 08,
1999
Tags #go away, #someone else cubicle, #finish project, #good teamwork, #reputation, #maintain
Transcript
Wally drinks coffee in alice's cubicle. Alice says, "Will you please go hang around in someone else's cubicle? I need to finish my project." The boss looks in and says, "Hey I see Wally is helping on the project. Good teamwork, Wally!" Wally says, "I hope you do good work. I have a reputation to mantain."
Friday August 27,
1999
Tags #save money, #cut used papaer, #little squares, #note pads, #less than hour, #print blank pages
Transcript
The boss sits at a conference table with a pad of paper in front of him. The boss says, "We can save money by cutting used paper into little squares to use as note pads." The boss says, "I made these in less than one hour." The boss says, "Not counting the time it took me to print the blank pages."
Tuesday December 14,
1999
Tags #being a manager, #less condescending, #wrong, #performance evaluation, #laughter, #Catbert, #boss
Transcript
The boss is sitting in his office and Catbert is sitting on the boss's desk. Catbert says to the boss:"Being a manager means never having to be less condescending just because you're wrong." Both Catbert and the boss laugh out loud: "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha" Carol is sitting at her computer and Dilbert is standing behind her holding a folder. Dilbert says to Carol: "Did he finish my performance evaluation?" Carol answers: "I heard him working on it."
Monday January 31,
2000
Tags #20% more money, #hire someone, #loyal, #40% more, #science, #mime, #wall blocks
Transcript
Dilbert is in the boss's office and he says to the boss: "Another company offered me twenty percent more. Will you match it? The boss answers: "No, I prefer to hire someone who is loyal, even if I have to pay forty percent more." Dilbert shakes his hands looking angry and says: "Managing is supposed to be a science!" The boss holds up his hands in front of him and says: "My mime wall blocks your sound."