Spoon On Right Comic Strips - Page 5

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691 Results for Spoon On Right

View 41 - 50 results for spoon on right comic strips. Discover the best "Spoon On Right" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting right now, #lunch time, #12 hours, #misery, #envy, #dead don't eat lucnch

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The Boss: Can you come to a meeting right now? Dilbert: No, it's almost lunch time. If I miss lunch, my day will be 12 hours of uninterrupted misery. I will envy the dead. The Boss: That's stupid. The dead don't eat lunch either.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company lawyer, #simple agreement, #impenetrable gibberish, #sour taste, #choke my suspenders, #exercise, #eat right, #finish, #health

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Company Lawyer Dilbert says, "Can you turn a simple agreement into impenetrable gibberish?" The lawyer says, "Absolutely. I can also leave a sour taste in everyone's mouth and make you want to choke me with my suspenders." The lawyer says, "If you exercise and eat right, you might still be alive when I finish it." Dilbert says, "Good enough."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no right to opinion, #conversation, #convey useful info, #bonding

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Tina says, "And then she acted as if I have no right to my opinion!" Dilbert says, "Is the point of this conversation to convey useful information, or just to make yourself feel better at my expense?" Tina says, "Maybe we're bonding." Dilbert says, "Maybe not."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mandatory meeting, #health and well being, #theme of meeting, #healthy employees are unprodcutive, #exercsing, #eating fruit, #work hard and die, #feel sick, #right on schedule

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The Boss: Tomorrow is the mandatory meeting on employee health and well-being. "The meeting starts at 6 A.M. So it will interfere with your sleep and not your work." Dilbert: "Doesn't that send a message that work is more important than health?" The Boss: "I hope so. That's the theme of the meeting." "Healthy employees are unproductive." "They're always exercising or eating fruit when they should be working." "We prefer employees who work hard and die before their pensions start paying out." Dilbert: "Suddenly I feel sick." The Boss: "Right on schedule!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #converstaion, #need to be right, #annoying, #pointed out, #date, #blame

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You treat every conversation like it's a contest where you have to be the one who is right! Dilbert: "It only seems that way because everything you say is wrong." "See? There it is!" Dilbert: "I'm pretty sure that was you again."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customer, #debunked theory, #lingerie store, #refrigeartor, #snowtires, #stomp tail, #customer always right

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Ratbert: I'd like to buy some snow tires for a refrigerator. CLerK: "This is a lingerie store. Get lost before I stomp on your tail." Ratbert: "I think I debunked the theory that the customer is always right."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #right away, #three weeks, #deadline, #soar with eagles, #motivational poster, #over weekend cell phone, #sail boat

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"This needs to be done right away." "according to the date, you've had this on your desk for three weeks." "Now I'll have to work all weekend to finish it by the deadline!" "Sometimes you have to soar with the eagles." "Gaaa!! You're reading that from the motivational poster behind me!" "If I have any questions about this. Can I call you over the weekend?" "My cell phone doesn't work when I'm on my sixty foot, luxury sailboat." "Ay-yiyi-yi-yi!!!" "Hey, If you can't take the heat, get out of the...uh...kitchen."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #highlight, #staff meeting, #wally report, #hair styled, #usual, #hair stylist, #used nose trimmer, #seemed right, #salon brawl

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Wally addresses a meeting, "Now for the highlight of the staff meeting: The Wally Report." Wally continues, "Yesterday I was getting my hair styled as usual." Wally continues, "But this time I forgot to remove my glasses, and what I saw was disturbing." Wally continues, "The stylist was using a nose-hair trimmer to cut my hair!" Wally continues, "I protested. But she said she's been doing my hair that way for years." Wally continues, "She said it just, 'seemed right.'" Wally raises his arms and exclaims, "Tempers flared. I threw some hair gel. A salon brawl broke out!" The Boss asks, "Don't we use the same stylist?" Wally replies, "That would explain why she has a plunger."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #doing it wrong, #response time, #sub second, #two seconds, #always right, #never wrong, #screaming

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Noriko says to Dilbert, "And we'll have sub-second response time. Dilbert says to Noriko, "Actually, it's already two seconds, and your change will add two more." Noriko exclaims to Dilbert, "Why do you always have to be right?!" Noriko says to Dilbert, "Just once can't you admit I'm right?" Dilbert says, "Okay, I admit that two plus two equals less than one." Noriko says, "I don't mean now, jerk. I mean in general." Dilbert says, "Okay. In general I admit that the rules of physics are optional." Noriko exclaims, "You're doing it wrong!!" Dilbert says, "You're right. My fault again."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #email, #facts, #link to study, #Right, #science, #scientific study, #winning an argument

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Alice: I got your stupid email with your stupid link to that stupid scientific study. I don't care about your so-called "facts." I know I'm right! Dilbert: Winning an argument never feels like winning.