Staving Competition Comic Strips - Page 5
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108 Results for Staving Competition
View 41 - 50 results for staving competition comic strips. Discover the best "Staving Competition" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday September 27,
2002
Tags #one project, #finished one, #measure worth, #number of projects, #track roi, #losing, #competition amongst mothers, #dilberts mom
Transcript
Dilbert and his mom are eating dinner. Dilbert's mom asks, "Why have you only finished one project at work this year? Norma's son did three." Dilbert responds, "You can't measure someone's worth by counting the number of projects he does." Dilbert's mom says to her friends, "Maybe we should track R.O.I. instead." One of her friends replies, "Why, because you're losing?"
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday February 26,
2004
Tags #dance with death, #secreatry, #desk, #work to early grave, #first to drop, #good morning, #first thing, #competition, #resentment, #anger
Transcript
Carol: "Well, look who came back to dance with death." "Once again you will try to work me to an early grave and I will book you on dangerous business trips." "Who will be the first to drop? Who?" The boss: "What ever happened to 'good morning'?"
Saturday February 18,
2006
Tags #business, #competition, #sales, #sales personnel
Transcript
The land of unrealistic business assumptions. Dilbert: We need to find some assumptions about future sales. Dang! There's only one way across and it's blocked by an inebriated hillbilly. Dogbert: In the land of unrealistic assumptions, this guy is your only competitor.
Thursday December 28,
2006
Friday March 16,
2007
Friday April 19,
2013
Tags #competition (psychology), #managers & supervisors, #thwarting rivals, #competitions, #expensive engineering solutions, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: Have you heard any rumors about what is driving our boss's decisions lately? Alice: He's thwarting a rival within the company by offering only prohibitively expensive engineering solutions. Dilbert: My work has meaning, but it's not the good kind.
Saturday February 09,
2008
Tags #competition, #mocking, #salvage joy, #work, #five year plan
Transcript
Dilbert: Our competitors just made new five-year plan moot. While we were strategizing, they were doing something I believe they call 'work. On the plus side, I managed to salvage some joy by mocking you. The Boss: Whatever you're doing stop it."
Monday November 09,
2009
Tags #sitting, #complaining, #value, #recession, #ridiculous, #proud, #competing
Transcript
Topper Dilbert says, "The value of my home is down about 40%" Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "I paid a homeless Elbonian family a million dollars to take my house." Dilbert says, "A recession isn't a competition." Topper says, "Said the loser."
Friday November 13,
2009
Tags #sitting, #reprimand, #discipline, #excuses, #explaining, #raises, #news, #budget, #money
Transcript
The Boss says, "Wally, when you don't give 100%, it's unfair to your co-workers who have to pick up the slack." Wally says, "Actually, I'm pretty sure they like having less competition for raises." The Boss says, "There's no budget for raises this year." Wally says, "Yeah, I wouldn't mention that to the others."
Tuesday December 08,
2009
Tags #technology, #changing, #competition, #submitting, #management, #delays
Transcript
The Boss says, "After eight months, senior management finally approved your project plan." Dilbert says, "It's too late. All of the technology has changed and our competitors have leapfrogged us." The Boss says, "Maybe you could write a new plan." Dilbert says, "Or we could get the same result by resubmitting this one."