Stealing Personal Info Comic Strips - Page 5
205 Results for Stealing Personal Info
View 41 - 50 results for stealing personal info comic strips. Discover the best "Stealing Personal Info" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share October 14, 1997's comic on:
Dogbert sits behind a large desk. He says to a potential investor, "As you know, past performance is no indication of future performance." Dogbert continues, "So my strategy is to use your entire investment for my personal expenses and see what happens." The investor says, "Has that strategy ever worked before?" Dogbert says, "Geez, it's like I'm talking to a wall here."
Share February 07, 1998's comic on:
The Boss stands behind Alice at her desk. He reads from a sheet of paper and says, "Out new e-mail monitoring system shows that you sent a personal message last week." Alice looks non-plussed. Alice sticks her thumbs in her ears and waves her hands. She says, "Coincidentally, the new Alice monitoring system detects twenty hours of unpaid overtime." The Boss thinks, "According to the manual, productivity will soar now." Alice says, "Beep.. beep.. boop.. now detecting cluelessness in the vicinity."
Share February 21, 1998's comic on:
At the staff meeting, Catbert says to Dilbert and Wally, "your personal lives reflect on this company." Catbert continues, "From now on, a strict dress code will be enforced in your homes." At home Dilbert says to Dogbert, "On the plus side, it's one less decision I have to make every day." He's wearing a coon skin cap, suspenders, a tu-tu and knee-high boots.
Share March 24, 1998's comic on:
Dogbert stands on the Boss's desk and says, 'I can replace your cubicles with 'personal habitats'." Dogbert says, "They look exactly like cubicles, but we've made huge advances in what they're called." The Boss asks, "Is it expensive?" Dogbert explains, "If money is an issue, you could start with the 'Hellhole Junior' model and upgrade later." The Boss asks, "Do you have pictures?"
Share March 25, 1998's comic on:
Dogbert says to Wally, "Your cubicle has been replaced with a 'personal habitat.'" Dogbert stands on the cubicle desk and says, "It's exactly like your cubicle but much less cluttered." Wally holds the garbage can up and says, "Hey, all my stuff is in the trash can!" Dogbert says, "That's a funny thing to call your personal storage unit."
Share April 29, 1998's comic on:
Dogbert and The Boss sitting at table. Dogbert passes a memo to The Boss and says, "Although your company is very profitable, I wouldn't be much of a consultant if I didn't recommend changes." The Boss views the recommendations and says, "You recommend jailing our ombudsman and declaring martial law ... makes sense." The Boss asks Dogbert, "Then could I shoot employees who make personal phone calls?" Dogbert replies, "It's okay with me."
Share January 09, 1994's comic on:
Dilbert: "Maybe I should approach my personal life as if it were an engineering project." Dogbert: "What is the mission of this project?" Dilbert: "Find a girlfriend!" Dogbert: "Good. Now consider the feasible alternatives." Dilbert: "Define 'feasible'." Dogbert: "Never mind, let's move on." Dogbert: "Now let's calculate your attractiveness ratio so we can narrow the field of girlfriend options." Dogbert: "Let's see...your buying power narrows the choices to a woman who just got a face transplant from a baboon." Dilbert: "Maybe it was an attractive baboon. I should call her." Dogbert: "Somewhere between desire and engineering lies stupidity."
Share June 23, 1998's comic on:
Caption: Dogbert the C.E.O. Dogbert sits behind his desk while Ted stands directly across from him. Dogbert says, "I need a personal 'gopher.' Are you interested?" Ted answers, "Sure!" Dogbert says, "Good. You'll wear a special uniform and a have a special office to show your status." Ted dressed in a gopher outfit stands in hole next to Dogbert's desk. Dogbert tosses a crumpled piece of paper that bounces off Ted's head. There are several pieces of crumpled paper on floor surrounding Ted. Dogbert says, "Sheesh. I haven't made a bank shot yet."
Share June 24, 1998's comic on:
Caption: Dogbert the C.E.O. Dogbert sits at head of table surrounded by workers. Dogbert says, "I've decided to manipulate our stock price for personal gain." Dogbert continues, "I'll spin off a few divisions, buy back some of our stock and announce massive budget cuts." Worker asks Dogbert, "Um...do you even know what products we make?" Dogbert replies, "How would that be relevant?"
Share September 21, 1998's comic on:
Catbert stands in the doorway of the copy room. Wally holds a cardboard box. Catbert says, "You're under arrest for stealing empty cardboard boxes!" Catbert says, "The company needs those boxes to meet its recycling goals." Wally says, "But reuse is better than recycling." Wally stands in his cubicle which now has a prison door. Catbert walks away. Wally stares through the bars. Wally thinks, "There's got to be a way out of this cell." The cubicle walls are barely higher than Wally's head.