Stick A Hose Comic Strips - Page 5

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83 Results for Stick A Hose

View 41 - 50 results for stick a hose comic strips. Discover the best "Stick A Hose" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 1995's comic on:


Tags #new dress policy, #allows casual clothes, #stick plunge, #friday, #only safe day, #policy stupid

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Dilbert sits on his couch and Dogbert perches on the backrest. Dilbert tells Dogbert, "Our new dress policy at work allows casual clothes on Fridays." Dogbert responds, "That's good, because studies have shown that Fridays are the ONLY safe day to dress casually; any other day would cause a stock plunge." Dilbert asks, "Is it just me or is that policy stupid?" Dogbert says, "That's not an 'or' question."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #prudish, #stupid, #hairball, #wimp, #class, #blessing

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Dilbert and a woman sit on the couch. The woman asks, "Would you like to hold hands?" Dilbert replies, "We'd better not . . . My dog is around here someplace." The woman asks, "What's your dog got to do with anything?" Dilbert replies, "He's a bit prudish. He won't allow it in his house." The woman replies, "HIS house? Ha ha ha! He's YOUR dog! YOU're the master!" The woman continues laughing and says, "Your dog is just a stupid hairball! And you must be a first-class wimp!" She laughs. Dogbert pulls a hose through the window and stands next to the couch holding the nozzle. Dilbert says to him, "With my blessings."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 1996's comic on:


Tags #ask the intern, #energency, #crawl through wall, #star trek, #spank the intern, #shut furnace

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Alice peers into Asok's cubicle and says, "Asok, come quickly! It's an emergency!" Alice and Asok stand in front of a heating duct. Alice says, "You must crawl through the Jeffries tube and shut down the furnace before it fries us all!" Asok's legs stick protrude from the heating duct. Alice holds a sign that says, "Spank the intern $0.50." Alice says to Dilbert, "Today young Asok learns that life is NOT like 'Star Trek.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 1996's comic on:


Tags #hopeless, #losers, #pencil, #team building exercise, #union rlules

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Alice, Dilbert, Wally and the Boss sit around a table. The Boss is sleeping. Alice yells, "It's hopeless! You're losers! We'll never make a sundial out of a pencil and an eaten donut!" The janitor enters the room and says, "Hee hee! All you had to do was stick the pencil in the donut." The janitor lies over the table with the pencil sticking out of his back. Dilbert says, "We just broke all kinds of union rules." Wally says, "But hey! Look at the shadow from the pencil!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 1997's comic on:


Tags #business startegy, #example, #good strategy, #learn, #panty hose, #ratbert the consultant, #walmarts

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Alice, Ratbert and Wally sit at a conference table. Ratbert says, "'Wal-Mart's' business strategy was very successful. You can learn from their example." Alice asks, "Does their strategy involve sitting around and making irrelevant comparisons to other companies?" Ratbert replies, "All I know for sure is that they don't let rats try on all the pantyhose in the store." Wally says, "Good strategy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #mother nature, #nature, #natural, #cruel, #beautiful, #robin, #singing, #smiling

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Dogbert walks on the sidewalk. He sees an old woman holding a stick and says, "Mother Nature!" Mother Nature says, "Hi, Dogbert, you little lard bag." Dogbert says, "Geez, Mother Nature, why are you so mean?" Mother Nature replies, "I'm not mean; it's natural. Nature seems cruel but it's really beautiful." Mother Nature continues, "For example, do you see that robin that's singing?" Dogbert says, "Yes?" Mother Nature zaps the bird with her stick. As feathers float down from the tree, Mother Nature says, "He was off-key. Now nature is back in harmony." Dogbert says, "Ha! You're smiling! I knew it. You enjoy being mean!" Dogbert walks down the sidewalk looking disheveled. Clouds of smoke rise from his fur. Dogbert says, "Yet another example where keen perception doesn't pay off."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #modern, #society, #traditions, #future, #generations, #tradition, #people, #annual, #nose, #sausage, #day, #shout, #kalookalah, #sun, #squirrel, #dance

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit on a stone wall in the park. Dilbert says, "The problem with modern society is that we have no traditions." Dilbert continues, "We should create some traditions for future generations." Dogbert asks, "How do you create a tradition?" Dilbert replies, "Well, you just do something ridiculous every year at the same time." Dilbert continues, "Eventually other people join in and then it's a tradition." Dogbert says, "Ooh, how about 'Annual Nose-Sausage Day'? You dress in colorful robes and stick sausages in your nose!" Dilbert says, "Yes, yes . . . And we'll do a squirrel dance and shout 'kaloo--kalah' at the sun!" Dilbert says, "Or maybe not." Dogbert says, "You lost me with the squirrel dance."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 06, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #reccommend, #switch, #technology, #questions, #career, #graph, #anticipated, #declining, #sense, #self-worth, #progresses, #answering, #presentation, #prepared

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Dilbert stands in front of an overhead projector. He says, ". . . Therefore, I recommend that we switch to the new technology . . . Any questions?" A man sitting at the conference table asks, "Dilbert, are you willing to bet your career on this?" Dilbert replies, "Yes, I would definitely bet my career." Dilbert continues, "You would too if you had MY career." Dilbert places a transparency on the projector and says, "I have a view graph which anticipated your question." Dilbert points to the diagram and says, "This chart tracks my declining sense of self-worth as my career progresses." Dilbert continues, "At the low-point, here, I'm reduced to answering imbecilic questions while pointing a little stick at the wall." Dilbert arrives at home and Dogbert asks, "How did the presentation go?" Dilbert replies, "There's such a thing as being too prepared."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 1997's comic on:


Tags #dinosaurs, #downsized, #fate, #vote by email, #jimmy carter, #monitor voting

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Dogbert says, "Should the Dinosaurs be downsized? You decide their fate." Bob, Dawn and Rex stand to one side looking worried. Vote by email: dinosaurs@unitedmedia.com A: I love the dinosaurs! B: Stick to office jokes! C: No talking animals! D: I don't have an opinion, but I like to vote! E: Get rid of everyone so I can use the blank space for notes. Ratbert says, 'There's a Jimmy Carter here to monitor the voting." Dogbert says, "Uh-oh."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 1997's comic on:


Tags #stupid people, #insulted, #formed mob, #take abuse, #survive, #water, #drink water, #portesters, #signs

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Dilbert and Dogbert look out the window. Dilbert says, "Uh-oh. All of the stupid people you've insulted have formed a mob and surrounded our house." The in-duh-viduals hold signs that say, "Down with Dogbert." One says to another, "We don't have to take this abuse.. let's see how long he can survivce without water!" Dilbert says, "They're taking turns putting our hose in their mouths. I think they're trying to drink all of our water."