Search Results for "studies"
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Character
Monday February 03,
2014
Tags #baked products, #coaches & coaching, #stress, #will power is finite, #cake for lunch, #coaching session, #long hours
Transcript
Boss: Studies say willpower is finite. If you use it for one thing, you have less for another. So if it feels hard to work long hours, without any reward, try eating cake for lunch. Wally: How'd your coaching session go? Dilbert: For once, it wasn't all bad.
Tuesday February 18,
2014
Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #sleeping & waking up, #five hours of sleep, #sleep deprivation, #lowers intelligence, #1000% raise
Transcript
Boss: I'm training myself to get by on five hours of sleep per night. Carol: Studies show that sleep deprivation lowers your functional intelligence. Boss: Not it not be doesn't. Carol? Can I have a thousand percent raise?
Saturday April 05,
2014
Tags #competition (psychology), #Men, #alpha dominence, #space, #room space, #topper, #puffer fish, #barely male, #glad, #inflate body
Transcript
Dilbert: Studies say I can increase my alpha dominance by using lots of space in the room. Topper: That's nothing. I can inflate my body like a puffer fish! Carol: At times like this, you must be glad you're barely male. Topper
Tuesday May 13,
2014
Tags #focus, #losing focus ability, #wasn't important, #digital distractions, #conversations
Transcript
Dilbert: Studies say people are losing their ability to focus because of all the digital distractions. Wally: Sorry, what? Dilbert: Hold on... Wally: What were you saying? Dilbert: I dunno. Probably wasn't important.
Sunday June 15,
2014
Tags #optimism, #die younger, #ignornat, #comparison, #peers, #bright future, #better than me
Transcript
Dilbert: What a great day! Alice: What's all this nonsense? Dilbert: I"m trying to be an optimist. Alice: Studies show that optimists die younger. So this optimism thing just makes you look ignorant. And because my happiness is based on a comparison to my peers, I don't want your future to be too bright. Stop thinking you're better than me in the future! Dilbert: This is exactly why I want to die younger. Alice: You already knew that optimists die young? Dilbert: Yup! How's your plan working?
Friday June 13,
2014
Tags #chocolate, #dark chocolate, #think better, #scientific sense, #magical thinking
Transcript
Boss: Here's some dark chocolate. Studies show it makes you think better. Dilbert: Why are you suddenly doing things that make scientific sense, instead of your usual magical thinking? Boss: I just ate three pounds of dark chocolate. Dilbert: Wow. It works fast.
Monday July 28,
2014
Tags #deception, #laziness, #successful people, #start early, #really working, #boss, #first four hours
Transcript
Wally: Studies show that successful people can start early. Can I start work at 4AM and quit at noon? Boss: How would I know you were really working the first four hours? Wally: Same way you know now. Boss: I don't know now. Wally: It's like that but with less attendance.
Thursday September 25,
2014
Leadership
Tags #boss, #leadership, #Opinion, #leader, #perception, #idiot leader, #decision
Transcript
Boss: I need your opinion before I make a decision. Dilbert: Studies show that if you ask for my opinion, I will no longer perceive you as a leader. Boss: And if I do not ask for your opinion? Dilbert: I would perceive you as an idiot and a leader.
Sunday October 26,
2014
Tags #deception, #email, #insulting, #intelligence, #iq, #trickery, #work ethic, #obession, #addiction, #work smarter, #text, #efficiency
Transcript
Wally: Studies show that continually checking email lowers your functional I.Q. You advised me to "work smarter," so I plan to ignore all of your email from now on. Boss: What if I text you instead? Wally: That's the sort of question that one asks after checking email too often. Boss: Did you just insult me? Wally: That answer is in your email. Boss: Where is it? I don't see any email from you. But I see six new emails that look important. What were we talking about. Wally: You were complimenting me on my efficiency.
Monday March 02,
2015
Wally Wears Heels
Tags #height, #money, #salary, #short, #tall, #wages, #clogs, #four inch heels, #income per year, #lump sum, #each heel inch
Transcript
Wally: You might have noticed that I'm wearing clogs with four-inch heels. Studies show that every inch of height is worth $1,000 in income per year. Can I have my $4,000 in a lump sum this year? Boss: I know there is something wrong with this...