Stupidity Comic Strips - Page 5
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73 Results for Stupidity
View 41 - 50 results for stupidity comic strips. Discover the best "Stupidity" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday July 07,
2009
Tags #meeting, #rules, #ridiculous, #nervous, #shaking, #worried, #stupidity, #business
Transcript
The boss says, "We won a huge government contract." The boss says, "Now we need to follow all of our company policies plus every government procurement rule." Dilbert says, "I feel like I'm being smothered by a damp mattress!" The boss says, "That's what victory feels like!"
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Thursday July 09,
2009
Tags #compensation, #pay, #money, #bonus, #denial, #rejection, #confused, #stupidity, #cruel
Transcript
The boss says, "I can't give you a bonus because another division had huge losses." Dilbert says, "Remind me again why my bonus is tied to the performance of strangers?" The boss says, "I shouldn't tell you this, but we model our compensation program after practical jokes."
Wednesday July 22,
2009
Tags #work, #assignment, #completed, #checking, #ridicule, #stupidity
Transcript
Dilbert says, "The prototype is done. Come take a look at the user interface." The boss says, "It works great, but make sure this thing is totally idiot-proof." Dilbert says, "Again?"
Saturday July 25,
2009
Tags #assignment, #stupidity, #yelling, #Advice, #reading
Transcript
The boss says, "Tina, answer this customer complaint. And remembert, the customer is always an idiot." Tina says, "I think you mean the customer is always?um?oh my?" The boss says, "Quick! Pop your ears so your head doesn't explode!" Gurk!
Monday July 27,
2009
Tags #reading, #response, #customer service, #ridiculous, #ridicule, #stupidity
Transcript
Tina says, "Can you review my letter to this customer who complained?" Dilbert says, "'Tell the spiders living in your skull that we'll look into it.'" Tina says, "Good writing should never be predictable." Dilbert says, "Then it's perfect."
Friday August 14,
2009
Tags #ridiculous, #waste, #time, #pointing, #useless, #stupidity
Transcript
Man says, "Someone borrowed the unit you asked to see, so I'll show you pictures of models you aren't interested in." Man says, "There's one you don't want?And you sure don't want that one?" Dilbert says, "And how does this help?" Man says, "Would you like a CD of products we no longer carry?"
Thursday August 27,
2009
Tags #telling, #story, #bored, #annoyed, #asking, #rude, #stupidity
Transcript
The Boss says, "And that was the last time I yanked a cable just to find out what would happen." Woman says, "How many inane stories do I have to hear before I can speak to someone who knows something?" The boss says, "She's a story hater."
Friday September 04,
2009
Tags #asking, #question, #children, #angry, #yelling, #screaming, #annoyed, #wrong, #stupidity, #Family
Transcript
The boss says, "How are your kids?" Tina says, "I don't have any kids." The boss says, "Are you sure?" Tina says, "That's the sort of thing I'd remember." The boss says, "Maybe they?re hiding." Tina says, "Be wrong! Just be wrong!"
Saturday September 05,
2009
Tags #introduction, #consultant, #stupidity, #Advice, #confused, #questioning, #business
Transcript
The boss says, "I hired my unemployed golf buddy to consult." Dilbert says, "What are his qualifications?" The boss says, "He has two qualifications: He's unemployed and he's a golf buddy." Man says, "I recommend firing the whistleblower and playing nine before it gets dark."
Saturday September 12,
2009
Tags #asking, #resources, #problem, #ridiculous, #stupidity, #bureaucracy
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I need more resources on my project." The Boss says, "I'll give you someone from Alice's project." Dilbert says, "Then Alice won't have enough resources." The boss says, "I can only solve one problem at a time." Alice says, "Did he solve your problem?" Dilbert says, "I'm going to say yes."