Take Full Hour Comic Strips - Page 5
1000 Results for Take Full Hour
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Share August 10, 1995's comic on:
The Boss stands in front of a conference table with an overhead projector on it. He points to a diagram and says, "My plan is to make you a self-directed team." Alice, Dilbert and Wally are at the table. The Boss continues, "After a few team meetings, the disrespect you have for each other will fester and grow into full-blown loathing." The Boss adds, "You'll BEG me to micro-manage you!! Ha ha ha!!" Wally comments, "It actually feels good to have a plan."
Share November 24, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert, Alice and Wally sit at a table eating lunch. Wally says, "I don't understand why some people wash their bath towels." Wally continues, "When I get out of the shower I'm the cleanest object in my house. In theory, those towels should be getting cleaner every time they touch me." Alice says, "Maybe I could hug you every day so I don't need to take showers." Wally asks, "Are towels supposed to bend?"
Share November 17, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert sits at a table in a restaurant by himself. He looks at his watch and says, "She's an hour late." A woman approaches the table. Dilbert says, "Hi, Ellen. Didn't we agree on seven?" Ellen replies, "Hi, Dilbert." Ellen says, "I was ready on time but I decided to shampoo my carpets." Ellen continues, "Then I got involved in a crossword puzzle." Ellen explains, "This is how attractive people assert their superiority over the rest of you." Ellen continues, "Don't take it personally. I have a complete disregard for the feelings of all ugly people." Ellen continues, "I'll make this adorable face and you'll go into a stunned-ugly-guy stupor and forget the whole thing." Dilbert asks, "Uh . . . What were we talking about?" Ellen says, "You were explaining why you didn't bring me any flowers."
Share February 07, 1996's comic on:
Alice asks the Boss, "Why is it that the people with the least need for storage space have the biggest offices?" Alice stands in the door to the Boss's office and says, "I know! You're using your office as kind of a living monument to inefficiency!" The Boss asks, "Is this because I wouldn't let you get a file cabinet?" Alice asks, "Where would I put it? My cubicle is full of stacks of proprietary documents."
Share April 15, 1996's comic on:
The Boss appears in the door of Alice's cubicle and says, "Alice, you've been working eighteen hours a day. I realized I must add a person to the effort." The Boss continues, "So I hired a night shift manager. After I go home at five o'clock he'll take over and ask why you're behind schedule." The night shift manager says to Alice, "I like my status reports rendered in 3-D, but don't spend a lot of time on it."
Share July 10, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert says to the Boss, "I need your full management support in this meeting with sales." The Boss replies, "Just watch the master at work." A man says to the Boss, "I promised a customer a product that we don't make. You need to engineer-up a thousand units by early next week." The Boss asks, "Is Thursday okay?" As they walk away, the Boss says to Dilbert, "Wait until he finds out that Thursday isn't 'early next week.' Hee hee!"
Share July 13, 1996's comic on:
Catbert peers over the wall and says, "Wally, it's time for your mandatory blood test." Wally says, "I don't take drugs." Catbert, who is holding a syringe, replies, "I'm testing to see if you're stealing time from the company." Wally asks, "Time? How can you test for that?" Catbert replies, "We test your general health. If it's good, you're not working enough hours. You thief."
Share September 06, 1996's comic on:
Dogbert stands on a chair with his paw poised over the keyboard. Dogbert thinks, "As network administrator I can take down the network with one keystroke." Dogbert presses a key and the employees all scream. Dogbert thinks, "It's just like being a doctor but without getting gooky stuff on my paws."
Share September 17, 1996's comic on:
The Boss and Dogbert sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "When the year 2000 comes, your computers will think it's the year '00' and cause major problems." Dogbert continues, "The Dogbert Consulting Company can fix the problem for only ten million dollars. Our work is guaranteed for one full year, starting today." The Boss says, "But why would I care? The year '00' is before I'm born." Dogbert says, "Amazing . . . You'd actually have to be SMARTER to do something STUPID."
Share October 31, 1996's comic on:
The Boss says, "This next award goes to Kim for her exceptional work." The Boss continues, "Kim worked evenings and weekends to fix the problems that were caused by her own incompetence." The Boss continues, "And it looks like Kim has a full plate for the coming year, too." Kim looks at the plaque and asks, "Which side faces the wall?"