Ted Comic Strips - Page 5
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Character
448 Results for Ted
View 41 - 50 results for ted comic strips. Discover the best "Ted" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday October 06,
2018
Spending The Company's Money
Tags Dilbert, price, high, ted, company, money, live, die, minute, sense
Transcript
Dilbert: This price is too high. Ted: Why do you care? You're spending the company's money, not your own. And the company doesn't care if you live or die. Dilbert: Give me a minutes to think of why that doesn't make sense. Ted: Take as long as you need.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday October 20,
2018
When Will Ted By Done
Tags Dilbert, the boss, test, data, ted, working, done, range
Transcript
The Boss: When will I get the test data? Dilbert: I don't know Ted is working on that. The Boss: When do you think he will be done? Dilbert: I know. I'm not Ted. The Boss: Just give me a range. Dilbert: Between one day and seven-hundred years.
Thursday January 03,
2019
Firing Ted
Tags boss, managers & supervisors, office, office workers, panic, suspicious
Transcript
Boss: Ted, come to my office at five o'clock. Ted: Gaaa!!! That's what you say when you plan to fire people! Boss: Don't be ridiculous. Also, bring your keys.
Wednesday March 25,
2020
Hiring Morons And Ted
Tags business, managers & supervisors, labor, market, hire, moron, position, ted talk, video, smart
Transcript
boss: the labor market is so tight that i had to hire a moron just to fill a position. my plan is to make him watch ted talk videos until he smartens up. dilbert: how many will it take? boss: with any luck, fifteen to seventeen will get it done.
Thursday March 26,
2020
Ted Talks Make You Smarter
Friday March 27,
2020
Ted Talks Might Take Your Job
Tags business, managers & supervisors, social media, technology, instagram, ted talks, smart, moron
Transcript
boss: the moron i hired keeps watching ted talks and getting smarter. he's only about three ted talks away from taking your job. ceo: there must be a way to slow him down. boss: i'll see if i can interest him in instagram.
Saturday March 28,
2020
Ted Talks Creates A God
Tags business, technology, mental, midget, ted talks, binge-watching, god, dumb, all knowing
Transcript
new hire: i must leave you mental midgets behind as i go start up my own company. i was once dumb like all of you. then i started binge-watching ted talks, and i evolved. dilbert: what are you now? new hire: some kind of god, i assume.
Saturday April 16,
2011
Tags computers & peripherals, embarrassment, internet & world wide web, developed app, spare time, awful thing, lees hinest, marketing, business
Transcript
Ted: I developed this app in my spare time. What do you think? Dilbert: I think you made spare time look like an awful thing. If you'd like a less honest answer, I can recommend someone in marketing. Ted: I might try that.
Saturday April 23,
2011
Tags announcements, committee decided, file naming, month, year, day, space, temperature, airport, hat size, long meeting, best work
Transcript
Ted: The committee decided that the file naming convention will start with the date, in the order of month, year, day... then a space, then the temperature at the airport, and the hat size of the nearest squirrel. To be perfectly honest, it was a long meeting and we probably didn't do our best work toward the end.
Thursday April 28,
2011
Tags anxiety, confused, emails accounts, internet & world wide web, might snap, pin code, too many passwords, user names, chaos, crazy, lose it, mental, breakdown, overload, technological, psychology
Transcript
Dogbert's password recovery service. Ted: I have so many passwords and email accounts and user names that I don't know what goes to what. I'm lost. If you can't help me I think I might snap. Dogbert: No problem. What's your password recovery PIN code? Noise: SNAP!

