Three Hundred Comic Strips - Page 5

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418 Results for Three Hundred

View 41 - 50 results for three hundred comic strips. Discover the best "Three Hundred" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #good product design, #gave three, #leadership, #product is bad, #stock willplunge, #totally meaningless, #signed card, #happy birthday

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Asok and Dilbert stand in front of the boss' desk. Dilbert says, "we need six weeks to make a good product design." Asok says, "You gave us three." Dilbert says, "Thanks to your leadership, the products is bad, our stock will plunge, and our lives are totally meaningless." Dilbert says, "Oh, and happy birthday." Asok holds a letter out and says, "We all signed a card."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #three bulls points, #summarize, #project, #invent words, #new words, #splrgy, #noobah, #pizkwat

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Dilbert speaks at the podium. "I've been asked to summarize my project into three bullet points." Dilbert says, "I had to invent some new words." Pointing to these words (Splurby, Noobah, Pizkwat), Dilbert says "Believe me, you don't want to be any of these things."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #three days, #repair guy, #under desk, #uninvited, #feeds licorice, #animals, #feed animals, #i.s. people

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Wally asks Noriko, "How long has he been under your desk?" Noriko replies, "Three days." Wallys asks Noriko, "Did you feed him?" Noriko answers, "Just some licorice." Wally says to Noriko, "You should never feed the I.S. people." The I.S. employee responds, "More licorice!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #upgraded three things, #broke three things, #terms, #computer work

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The I.S. employee says to Noriko, "Well, I upgraded three things and I accidentally broke three things." The I.S. employee continues, "In I.S. terms, I came out ahead." Noriko responds, "Does my computer work?" The I.S. employee replies, "No, but if it did, it would be much faster."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tips today, #how much, #three breath mints, #death threat, #scrawled napkin, #napkin guy

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Dilbert and Wally are both wearing aprons. Dilbert, counting money, asks Wally, "How much did you make in tips today?" Wally says, "Three breath mints and one death threat scrawled on a napkin." Wally says to Dilbert, "I hope I don't forget which breath mint came from the napkin guy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #discount brokerage, #free dart board, #monkey, #drops below, #five hundred, #order money to kill, #strange techniques, #animals

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DISCOUNT BROKERAGE: Dogbert is in his office wearing a headset. He says, "When you open an account, you'll get a free dart board and a monkey." Dogbert continues, "If your balance drops below five hundred dollars, we'll order the monkey to kill you." Dogbert continues, "Well, think about it and get back to me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #flight, #three am, #slap head, #uncross eyes, #coffee, #crazy, #alice crazy, #airplane, #travel airfare

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A frazzled-looking Alice says to Dilbert, "My flight didn't get in until three this morning." Alice asks Dilbert, "Would you mind slapping the back of my head until my eyes uncross?" As Dilbert stands behind Alice and raises a notebook to slap her, Alice pushes her coffee cup toward Asok the Intern. Alice says, "Pour all of your coffee in here and no one gets hurt."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #four hundred features, #level of complexity, #easy to use

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Dilbert is talking to a worker. Holding a list, Dilbert says, "Your user requirements include four hundred features." Dilbert continues, "Do you realize that no human would be able to use a product with that level of complexity?" The worker says, "Good point. I'd better add 'easy to use' to the list."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evolution class, #two day course, #surfing student, #cocky squirrel, #janiotr, #three thousand pound squirrel

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Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting at the kitchen table, having cereal and coffee. Dilbert is still in his bathrobe. Dogbert says, "By the end of my two-day evolution class I had one surviving student." Dogbert continues as Dilbert raises his coffee cup, "He's probably the cockiest squirrel I've ever seen. Toward the end he weighed three thousand pounds." Dogbert continues as Dilbert takes a sip, "If you asked me who's the unluckiest person in the world, I'd have to say it was the janitor."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email service problem, #no email, #phone call, #playing with tech support, #three computers, #web function, #account information

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Dilbert is sitting at his computer at home. He says into the telephone, "Look, I have three computers in the house. All three simultaneously lost e-mail but not web function." He continues, shaking his fist in the air, "That means the problem is in your e- mail service. Can you grasp that concept?" Dilbert is laying on the couch with a cup of coffee. He says into the phone, "Okay. I'm re-entering my account information... Hey, guess what? That didn't work either."