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378 Results for Top Five

View 41 - 50 results for top five comic strips. Discover the best "Top Five" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags internet business idea, sent idea, five companies, space

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The Boss says, off-frame, to Dilbert, "I like your internet business idea. Let's do it." Dilbert, off-frame says to The Boss, "I sent you that idea a year ago. Since then, five companies have gone IPO in that space." The Boss says, "Can we buy one of them?" Dilbert says, "If by 'one' you mean one share of stock, yes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags document prcedures, requirement, engineers, submit time cards, magic cylinder, trash can, gone by morning, five years, no one complained

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Dilbert approaches Carol and says, "I need to document your procedures. It's an ISO 9000 requirement." Dilbert starts writing as he asks, "So...the engineers submit their time cards and then you do what?" Carol points to her desk and says, "I put them in a pile until I'm sure that they're all here." Carol points under her desk and continues, "Then I move them to the magic cylinder." Dibert asks, "The trash can?" Carol answers, "No, it's a magic cylinder. I put my work in there and by morning it's gone." Dilbert says, "I've been giving you my time card for five years." Carol responds, "No one has complained yet." Dilbert walks away thinking, "After today, I am NOT rounding to the nearest fifteen minutes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags topper, top you, ruins system, can't go first

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Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss is with another man. The Boss says, "Dilbert, meet Topper. He's amazing." Dilbert looks at The Boss and a smirking Topper. The Boss says, "No matter what you say about yourself, he'll top it." Dilbert says to Topper, "How are you?" The Boss looks at Topper as Topper says, "I can't go first. It ruins my system."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags discount brokerage, free dart board, monkey, drops below, five hundred, order money to kill, strange techniques, animals

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DISCOUNT BROKERAGE: Dogbert is in his office wearing a headset. He says, "When you open an account, you'll get a free dart board and a monkey." Dogbert continues, "If your balance drops below five hundred dollars, we'll order the monkey to kill you." Dogbert continues, "Well, think about it and get back to me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags evil hr director, five years expereince, job interview, no profit, dot com president, Catbert

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CATBERT: EVIL H.R. DIRECTOR: A man sitting across the desk from Catbert says, "... And I have five years experience as a dot-com president." The man listens as Catbert says, "You're in luck. We need someone who can burn through twenty million dollars without making a profit." Catbert grins widely as the man says, "Really? The last nine interviewers said the same thing but they were joking."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mandatory lunchtime meetings, life work balance, high five, Catbert

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Catbert and the boss are sitting at a table. Catbert says, "How about mandatory lunchtime meetings?" The boss says, "On the subject of Work-Life Balance!" The boss and Catbert high five each other. Wally and Dilbert peek over a cubicle divider at the the boss, whose hand is bandaged. Wally says, "Uh-oh. He's been high-fiving Catbert again."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags rebooting computer, kicks computer, roof top, feel better

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Alice is on the phone in front of her computer. The person on the phone says, "Try rebooting your computer." A furious Alice is seen on top of the office building, kicking her computer off the roof. Alice peers over the side of the building on the phone and says, "Thanks. I feel much better."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags layoff planning, fire people, creeps, excessive nose haor, called doctor, five minute meeting

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Caption reads: "Layoff Planning." Catbert sits with the Boss at a table. The Boss says, "Let's fire all the people who give us the creeps..." "...All the people with excessive nose hair and anyone who insists on being called 'doctor.'" Carol enters into the cubicle of a man with long nose hair and bug eyes. She says, "You've got a five-minute meeting on Friday, Dr. Wolfington."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags broken keyboard, five asterisks, passwords, types asterrisk, tech support

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The Boss is sitting at his computer. He says into the telephone, "My keyboard is broken. It only types asterisks for passwords." Headline: Dogbert's Tech Support. On the other end of the line, Dogbert replies, "Try changing your password to five asterisks." The Boss says to himself, "I hope I can remember it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags evil hr dircetor, marketing department, bad news, good news, non dairy creamer, five cups a day

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Headline: Evil H.R. Director. Catbert says to Dilbert and Wally, "The bad news is that I had to get rid of our marketing department." Catbert continues, "The good news is that we have tons of nondairy creamer!" Dilbert and Wally are drinking coffee. Dilbert asks, "Do you think those two things are related?" Wally replies, "If they are, I'm cutting back to five cups a day."