Total Lack Of Qaulifications Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

121 Results for Total Lack Of Qaulifications

View 41 - 50 results for total lack of qaulifications comic strips. Discover the best "Total Lack Of Qaulifications" comics from Dilbert.com.

Lack Of Strategy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Lack Of Strategy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #strategy, #business, #company, #employees, #nothing

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: once again, it seems you accomplished absolutely nothing this week wally: no on will tell me our company's strategy, so anything i did would be random flailing boss: a lack of strategy isn't keeping anyone else from working wally: but shouldn't it?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ball, #game, #tennis

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert hold tennis rackets. Dogbert says, "Experts say that when you have mastered the mental game, the ball will appear to grow larger." Dilbert holds a tiny ball in his hand. Dilbert replies, "Okay, but I still think these balls are not regulation size." Dogbert says, "Probably just a reflection of your lack of confidence." Dogbert walks away and says, "Three moth balls and a good story are more effective than years of lessons."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #date, #honesty, #love & dating

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the desk. Dilbert writes, "Single, dumpy and dull male seeks young and beautiful woman for romance." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "The key to writing a successful 'personals' ad is honesty . . . Complete and total honesty." Dogbert asks, "What species are you targeting?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #rambling, #questions, #focus, #johnson, #fetch, #stick, #achieve, #sacrificing, #customer, #the boss

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and another employee sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Okay, the staff meeting is over. Does anybody have any meaningless rambling questions? Johnson?" Johnson asks, "How can we work as a team to achieve total quality without sacrificing customer focus?" The Boss asks, "How many people would like to see me make Johnson fetch this stick?" Everyone raises their hands.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #computer, #minutes, #paid, #ripping, #evil, #corporate, #empire, #power, #secret, #myself, #nothing

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk and thinks, "Hey, I haven't done a thing for minutes and yet I still get paid." Dilbert clenches his fists and thinks, "Hoo-hoo-ha! I'm ripping off the evil corporate empire and there's nothing they can do about it! I have total power!" Dilbert thinks, "I'd better keep this little secret to myself." Another employee sits in his cubicle thinking, "Hey, I'm getting paid for doing nothing!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #ratbert, #think, #spare, #feelings, #hideous, #compost, #random, #colors, #hackneyed, #poorly, #executed, #embarrassing, #proof, #utter

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at the table and Ratbert stands on the table in front an easel. Ratbert says, "Tell me what you think, and don't try to spare my feelings." Dogbert says, "It's a hideous compost of random colors. It seems both hackneyed and poorly executed. It's an embarrassing proof of your utter lack of talent." Dogbert continues, "As for you personally, spend some time on a 'Stairmaster.'" Ratbert says angrily, "Stick to the art, please!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #noriko, #planet, #disaster, #Environment, #mess, #poverty, #adults

View Transcript

Transcript

Noriko: Who the heck is running this planet?? It's a total disaster!! The environment is a mess! Crime and poverty everywhere!! Who's responsible?!! Dogbert: Adults, like him.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #zombies, #squash, #creativity, #facial, #expression, #comprehension, #marketing, #fear

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands in front of an audience and says, "The successful zombie knows how to squash the creativity of co-workers." Dogbert points to a picture of a man with bags under his eyes and says, "When you hear a new idea, adopt a facial expression which conveys both fear and an utter lack of comprehension." Dogbert continues, "Those of you who work in marketing only need to add the fear part." Someone asks, "Why is that?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elbonia, #elbonian men, #Dilbert, #management, #business consulting

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to three Elbonians, "I've been sent to teach you 'Total Quality Management.'" Dilbert points at a visual aid that says "Quality equals good (1950)." Dilbert says, "In the old days, quality was just an empty word meaning 'good.'" Dilbert continues, "Eventually it evolved into a complicated method for transferring your money to business consultants."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marketing, #offcie, #opening in security, #rat is insulted, #ratbert, #suited career, #gnaw on cord, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert sits across from a desk and says, "Outwardly, yes, I'm a rat. But my bubbly personality and my utter lack of skill make me well-suited for a career in marketing." Ratbert asks, "Would you mind terribly if I gnawed on your phone cord?" The person at the desk says, "We have an opening in lobby security." Ratbert holds the phone cord in his mouth and says, "I'm insulted!"