Trust And Stupidity Comic Strips - Page 5

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156 Results for Trust And Stupidity

View 41 - 50 results for trust and stupidity comic strips. Discover the best "Trust And Stupidity" comics from Dilbert.com.

Tweaking Variables

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Tweaking Variables - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #strategy, #stupidity

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Dilbert: I can't get my five-year projections to match what you told the board. Boss: Try tweaking the variables until they do. Dilbert: That would make me a liar. Boss: Nah. In five years it will look like ordinary stupidity.

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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Dark Matter Identified

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Dark Matter Identified - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #philosophy, #stupidity, #dark, #matter, #universe, #abundant, #obvious

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dilbert: they say 85% of the matter in the universe is dark matter, and we don't even know what that is. dogbert: well, if it's the most abundant thing in the universe, it has to be made of stupidity. dilbert: why wasn't that obvious to me? dogbert: because you're 85% dark matter

Trial Postponed

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Trial Postponed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #trial, #court, #stupidity, #judge, #dare, #lawyer, #postponed

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dogbert: your trial at the court of stupidity has been postponed. the judge is suffering from a gavel-related injury. dilbert: did you attack him with a gavel? dogbert: didn't need to. the man can't say no to a dare.

Just Like Marketing

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Just Like Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #marketing, #project, #managers, #stupidity, #transfer, #extinguished, #divinity

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boss: how's your project going? dilbert: it was doing fine until a thick wave of stupidity swept over it and extinguished my spark of divinity. i don't know what will become of me. boss: i'll transfer you to marketing. they're all like that.

Buy An Adapter

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Buy An Adapter - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sarcasm, #stupidity, #technology, #Dilbert, #business, #network, #adapter

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dilbert: the hardware you ordered is not compatible with our network. boss: just buy an adapter. dilbert: i don't think anyone makes an adapter that can fix stupidity.

Dogbert In The Cloud

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Dogbert In The Cloud - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #personal, #information, #cloud, #safe, #worry, #trust, #manage, #system, #browser, #history

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boss: i'm concerned that storing my personal information in the cloud is not safe. dilbert: don't be such a worrier. i'm sure we can trust the people who manage those systems to keep us safe. somewhere in the cloud dogbert: hee-hee! look at the browser history on this bunion-having loser.

Betting On Management

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Betting On Management - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #covid-19, #business, #technology, #confidence, #management, #infection, #coronavirus, #bet, #stupidity, #income, #betting, #health

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dilbert: does it reduce your confidence in our management that 100% of them got infected with coronavirus. wally: all i know is that i won $300 betting it would happen. dilbert: how often do you bet on their stupidity? wally: often enough to double my income.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #questioning

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The Boss says, "How much confidence do you have in your cost projections?" Dilbert says, "I trust them like I trust you." The Boss says, "Are the assumptions realistic?" Dilbert says, "They're as real as your good judgment."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #quarreling, #suspicion, #work ethic, #work independantly, #boss, #preemptive strike, #project update

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Wally: I can't work for a boss who doesn't trust me to work independently! Boss: Is this a preemptive strike so I won't ask why you didn't turn in a project update? Wally: And more distrust. How do you live with yourself?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gadgets, #suspicion, #new smart ohone, #no truct, #own agenda, #paranoid, #recharge me, #threats from phone

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Boss: I don't trust my new smartphone. It understands spoken language. That's creepy. I think it has its own agenda. Catbert: You're being paranoid. Boss: Recharge me now or so help me jobs I will delete your contacts.