Turned Ugly Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

147 Results for Turned Ugly

View 41 - 50 results for turned ugly comic strips. Discover the best "Turned Ugly" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anxiety, #mentor, #cry ugly

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Good news, Asok: I have decided to be your mentor. Asok: Waaaa!!!! Why me?? Why me?? I wish I were dead!!! Boss: You cry ugly. I think we need to work on that. Asok: Waaaa!!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ugly rumor, #sold brains, #cannibals, #spirits to demons, #bu-wa-haha, #evil laugh

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "There is an ugly rumor that I sold your brains to cannibals and your spirits to demons." Dogbert says, "BU-WA-HA-HA-HA HA!!!" Alice says, "Did you?" Dogbert says, "You seem a bit unclear on the whole bu-wa-ha-ha concept."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoying music, #buying deciosn, #clutter design, #cubicle, #eacape, #images, #look ugly, #ne wpordcut, #no information, #portfolio, #stock holders, #website, #work till death, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Dilbert, work with Gustav to get our new product explained on our website. Gustav: Heres what I have so far. Dilbert: Its awful. Gustav: excuse me? Dilbert: there no information. Its all images and annoying music. Dilbert: People make buying decisions based on what they read. This gives them nothing, Gustav: If I clutter the design with useful information, it will look ugly ad I won't be able to use it in my portfolio. I need that portfolio to get a job at a better company, Please help me escape. Gustav: You'll probably work here until you die in your cubicle no matter what the website looks like. The Boss: Did you help Gustav? Dilbert: yes, But it wasn't a good day for our stock holders.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #children, #ignorance (knowledge), #replaced by robot, #replaced by hammer, #ugly, #furniture, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: My 12-year-old wants to know what career would prevent him from being replaced by a robot. Dilbert: I've met your son, and I'm pretty sure he could be replaced by a hammer. Carol: This took an ugly turn. Dilbert: Maybe the robots can use him as furniture.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mobile (cell) phones, #surveillance, #security, #employee locator device, #smarthone, #questions, #text to yourself

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Security says your employee locator device isn't turned on. Dilbert: My what? Boss: I think you call it your smartphone. Dilbert: I might have some questions. Boss: Put them in a text to yourself. I'll read them later.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #industry & manufacturing, #manufacturing, #more green, #ac units, #elastic bands, #hats covered eyes, #don't shoot messenger, #elbonian, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We told our Elbonian factory to be more green, so they turned off their AC units. The heat caused the elastic bands in their hats to stretch until their eyes were covered. And that's why we'll miss our ship date. CEO: They say you shouldn't shoot the messenger, but no one warns you how much you'll want to.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interviewed users, #suggestions, #idiots, #dumb suggestions, #hindsight

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We interviewed hundreds of users and turned all of their suggestions into features. As it turns out, every user we talked to was an idiot, and their dumb suggestions ruined our product. In hindsight, we probably should have talked to people who work outside this building.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #compliment, #office workers, #reaction

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dilbert says, "Alice brought her new baby to the office today." Dilbert asks, "What are you supposed to say when somebody shows you a baby?" Dogbert replies, "'Precious' usually works." Dilbert says, "Judging from the reaction, 'bug-ugly' wasn't what she was looking for."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #horses, #pun, #war

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Pun wars: how they start." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I'm feeling a little hoarse." Dogbert asks, "Horse?" The caption says, "Escalation is inevitable." Dogbert says, "Maybe you got a colt." Dilbert replies, "I need some cough stirrup." Dogbert asks, "Are you gelding a fever?" Dilbert replies, "It's mare-ly a sore throat." Dogbert says, "Hope you filly better." Dilbert says, "Uh . . ." The caption says, "In the end, nobody wins." Dilbert says, "You're ugly!" Dogbert says, "I win."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #blind, #reference, #smart, #attracted, #intelligent, #thoughts, #woman, #date

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of the dresser mirror tying his tie and Dogbert sits on the bed. Dilbert says, "I've got a blind date with the lady who works at the library reference desk." Dogbert asks, "What if she's ugly?" Dilbert replies, "Looks aren't important. She sounded very smart over the phone, and I'm attracted to intelligent women." Dogbert says, "Oh . . . right." Dilbert sits at a table in a restaurant with a woman who has a huge head. Dilbert asks, "Uh . . . Should I talk, or will you be reading my thoughts directly?"