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View 41 - 50 results for two comic strips. Discover the best "Two" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 1998's comic on:


Tags #research dept, #study, #value of research, #just lie, #no research, #industry salaries, #two oclock, #quitting time, #role model

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Alice sits next to The Boss and a mandattan place.. The Boss points out, "Our special guest is Tod, from our researced paper." Tod says, "We recently did a study to access the value of our previous research." Tod hands out papers and says, "Sadly, all of our past work was either ignoed or totally misintrepreted by idiots.." Tod says, ".. such as yoursleves." Tod says, "So from now on, rather that do research we''ll just lie. Tod says, "Play along and and we'll make sure the 'industry salaries' study goes your way." Tod says, "Well, it's two o'clock, and that's quitting time in the research department." Wally tells Dilbert, "" You're not my role mdoel anymore!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 1998's comic on:


Tags #pharmacy, #two cashiers, #stres meds, #two lines, #que up

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Dilbert stands at a pharmacy with two cashiers, each helping a customer. He thinks, "Is this one line, or two?" Dilbert positions himself in the center and thinks, "I'll hedge my bets by standing in the center." A man approaches and Dilbert thinks, "This guy is confused too." The man stands next to Dilbert and Dilbert begins to sweat. He thinks, "Get behind me...get behind me...get behind me...get behind me..." The man smiles and Dilbert thinks "Oh no! He's forming a new line behind the fast cashier! #$@^%#!" The man turns his head and Dilbert jumps in front of him. He thinks, "He's distracted! I take the angle! I win!" The cashier looks at his prescription and says, "Stress medications are the other line."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 1999's comic on:


Tags #awake, #two days staright, #deadline, #all for nothing, #middel, #stack, #forget it

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Alice stands at Carol's desk. Alice hair is a mess and she holds a report. Alice says, "I stayed awake for two days straight to finish this R.F.Q. by the deadline." Alice says, "But it will all be for nothing if you don't send it out today." Alice hands the folder to Carol. Carol puts the folder in the middle of a huge pile of papers on her desk and says, "I'll put it in the middle of the stack so I won't forget."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 10, 1999's comic on:


Tags #ease of use, #lab, #budget for staff, #two sided, #photocopies, #live by sword, #die by sword

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The boss, wally and Asok sit at the conference table with papers in front of them. The boss says, "I downsised the "ease of use" lab because there's no budget for a staff." Asok grabs one of the paper and shows it the the boss. ASok says, "They HAVE a buget. I put it on the back of these two-sided photocopies!" The boss says, "Well, they lived by the sword, and they died by the sword."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 1999's comic on:


Tags #lost two pounds, #less of you, #happy, #scrap of encouragemnet, #tapped out

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It's the morning, Dilbert wears his robe. Dogbert reads the newspaper. Dilbert says, "I lost two pounds!" Dogbert says, "I'm happy. Guess why." Dilbert says, "Because you're supportive?" Dogbert says, "Because there's less of you." Dilbert says, "I was hoping for a scrap of encouragement." Dogbert says, "I'm all taooed out. Try back tommorrow."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 1999's comic on:


Tags #personal goal, #self actaulization, #outdated binders, #alpahbetical, #reqiuested, #feel unfulfilled, #phase two, #project, #find meaning, #ship binders, #dump

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Asok stands in front of the boss desk and says, "I fear I am not meeting my personal goal of self actualization." Asok says, "I put all of our outdated binders in alphabetical order as you requested, yet I feel unfulfilled." Asok says, "I assume that in phase two of this project I will find meaning." The boss says, "Now ship the binders to the dump."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 1999's comic on:


Tags #story ever end, #purchase silence, #fist of death, #two warning system

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Ted, Alice and Wally sit in a meeting. Ted says, "But then I.." Alice taps Ted on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me." Alice says, "Does your story EVER end? Or must I purchase your silence with my fist of death?" Alice walks out of the meeting with Ted's still stuck to her arm. Alice says, "I might have to go to a two-warning system."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 1999's comic on:


Tags #fifty mile run, #join me, #two triathlons, #entry forms

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Strong Guy says to Dilbert who is working in the cubicle, "I'm going on a fifty-mile run. Would you care to join me?" Dilbert says, "No." Dilbert works on his computer. Strong Guy says, "I signed up for two triathlons this weekend. Do you want the entry forms?" Dilbert says, "No." Strong Guy says, "Next week a few of us will be leaping into geosynchronous orbit..." Dilbert raises his arms in frustration and says, "Gaa!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 11, 1999's comic on:


Tags #twenty percent over budget, #two months late, #bungledm, #allocation resources, #bungled

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The Boss reads a report, and says to Dilbert, "Your project is twenty percent over budget and two months late." Dilbert says, "That's because you bungled the allocation of resources." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Bosses hate the word 'bungled'."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 1999's comic on:


Tags #two more people, #enough direct reports, #vice president title, #strategy

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The boss reads a memo and thinks, "If I eliminate the training budget, I can afford to hire two more people." The Boss smirks, and thinks, "Then I'll have enough direct reports to get a vice president title." Dilbert says to The Boss, "Shouldn't we have a strategy?" The Boss says, "I have one. Thanks for asking."