Under Contract Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

265 Results for Under Contract

View 41 - 50 results for under contract comic strips. Discover the best "Under Contract" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 2001's comic on:


Tags #contract states, #nick names, #mottos, #political preferences, #new contract, #fact, #skippy, #communist now

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Dilbert sit at a table, each reviewing a piece of paper. Dogbert says, "Our contract clearly states that I can give you nicknames, mottos and political preferences." Dilbert sits with his arms folded over his chest and says, "I demand a new contract based on the fact that I didn't read this one before I signed it." Dogbert replies, "Too bad, Skippy. You're a communist now."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 2001's comic on:


Tags #negotiated contract, #six weeks, #double delivery time, #devious weasel, #simply incompetent

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is reading a contract while meeting with a business associate. Dilbert says, "We've negotiated this contract for six weeks and today you double your delivery time?" Dilbert continues, "I can't tell if you're an incredibly devious weasel or simply incompetent." The business associate begins to pull on his own nose and says, "Here's a clue." The business associate pulls of his nose to reveal a weasel's nose underneath. It makes the sound, "poink."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 2001's comic on:


Tags #ceos goal, #improve revenue, #fired, #contratcor, #cancelled my contract

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to an employee, "Our CEO's goal is to improve our revenue per employee. So I'm going to fire you and bring you back as a contractor." The employee responds, "Last week his goal was to reduce the number of contractors. So you cancelled my contract and hired me as an employee." The Boss replies, "Well, it looks like someone doesn't like having his cheese moved." The employee looks at The Boss skeptically.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 2001's comic on:


Tags #gifts under $25, #rules are rules, #worth, #$26

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert holds a gift. He says to a salesman, "Thank you, but I can only accept gifts under $25. How much is this?" The salesman replies, "$26." Dilbert hands the gift back to the salesman and says, "Well, thanks anyway." The salesman responds, "Rules are rules." Alice is holding the gift. She says, "You're a very nice for a salesperson. But how much is this worth?" The salesman replies slyly, "$26. Why?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2002's comic on:


Tags #winning bid contract, #read the minds, #competetors, #bid lower, #blocked by dense mass

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "Dilbert, I want you to put together the winning bid for this contract." Dilbert responds, "No problem, I'll just read the minds of our competitors and bid lower." Dilbert continues, "I'm picking up something now... But it's partly blocked by a dense mass."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2002's comic on:


Tags #procurement, #special cable, #rope, #exclusive contract, #rope distributer, #monkey, #cheaper, #desk, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Procurement. Dilbert says to a monkey, "I need to order a special cable for my computer." The monkey holds up a rope and says, "Ooh hoo hoo hoo!" Dilbert responds, "No. That's a piece of rope. Yes, I know it's cheaper." Dilbert continues, "Well, maybe it was a mistake to sign an exclusive contract with a rope distributor." The monkey crosses its arms and replies, "Ooh hoo hoo jerk."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 2002's comic on:


Tags #budget cuts, #customer service, #pranks calls to elderly, #neighbor, #treasure buried, #under lawn

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert reports to The Boss, "Our budget cuts are affecting customer service." The Boss asks, "How much?" Dilbert continues, "Our customer service center spends all day making prank calls to the elderly." A customer service representative says into the phone, "According to our records, your neighbor has treasure buried under his lawn."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 2003's comic on:


Tags #internet traffic, #good thing, #under sewage, #breathe through straw, #grateful, #sewer system

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: "Asok, would you like to join a doomed project for sending internet traffic over the sewer system?" Asok: "Absolutely! I might be young and inexperienced, but I know a good thing when I see it!" Wally: "I need you to work under the sewage and breathe through a straw." Asok: "I get a straw?!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 2004's comic on:


Tags #hefty bonus, #under budget, #results, #luck, #project delayed

View Transcript

Transcript

"I got a hefty bonus for being way under budget." "Effort is no longer rewarded. It's all about results, which means mostly luck." "It's kinda funny; the only reason I was under budget is that my project was delayed." "Gaaaa!!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 2004's comic on:


Tags #security guard, #company owned assets, #under clothes, #smuggled out, #pilferage

View Transcript

Transcript

whoa! whoa! where do you think you're going? you look bloated today as if you have company -owned assets under your clothes. I need to stop relying on my instincts.