Useless Comic Strips - Page 5
Search Filters
Year
- 2023
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
117 Results for Useless
View 41 - 50 results for useless comic strips. Discover the best "Useless" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday April 07,
2015
Useless Mansplainers
Tags mansplainer, relations between the sexes, sexism, Women, engineers, programmers, furstration
Transcript
Alice: I can't get any work done because my project team is a bunch of useless mansplainers. Why do men feel the need to explain things to me when I know more than they do? Boss: Let me explain it to you, Alice. Men like to show off and feel important. Alice: Stop it!
Tuesday November 03,
2015
How It Feels To Be Useless
Tags work, work ethic, engineers, stress, reward, laziness, dedication
Transcript
Wally: How's it feel to be the hardest-working employee in engineering? Alice: I feel tired, sore, exhausted, sick, angry, stressed out, and lonely. Wally: You probably don't want to know how good it feels to be useless.
Thursday November 05,
2015
Carol Overschedules
Tags useless, laziness, work ethic, ignorance, trying, effort, club
Transcript
Carol: I understand you better than the others because I'm useless, too. Wally: I always thought you were trying to kill our pointy-haired boss by overscheduling him. Carol: I am. It just hasn't worked yet. Wally: That's not good enough to get into the useless club.
Wednesday March 30,
2016
Bring Me Solutions
Tags laziness, work ethic, managers, useless, double standard, guest artist, donna oatney
Transcript
Boss: Don't bring me problems. Bring me solutions! Dilbert: That would make you more useless than you already are. Boss: I also need you to fill out your own performance evaluation.
Friday July 01,
2016
Wally's Useless Nonsense
Tags laziness, work ethic, strategy
Transcript
Catbert: There's a rumor that you use a chatbot to reply to email with useless nonsense. Wally: You can't prove that because I've always answered my email with useless nonsense. Catbert: That was disturbingly well-played. Wally: It's all about creating the base case.
Monday October 15,
2018
Everyone Else Is Worthless
Tags Dilbert, fire, pawn, problems, project, the boss, useless, work
Transcript
The Boss: I'm adding you to the network upgrade project. Everyone else on the team is lazy and useless, so I need you to do all of their work. Dilbert: Maybe you should fire them. The Boss: Don't try to pawn off your problems on me.
Monday October 28,
2019
Business Agility Influencer
Tags office workers, business, agility, solution, meaningless, useless
Transcript
ted: hi, i'm a business agility influencer and solutionist wally: i don't think that means anything ted: why are you the first person to spot that? wally: because i'm useless too!
Wednesday January 10,
1990
Tags Dilbert, static, electricity, usless, resistor, dog of thunder, nerd, puns, annoys
Transcript
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Maybe since you're full of static electricity, you should say 'it is useless to be a resistor.' Hee-hee-hee." Dogbert's fur is standing up. Dogbert zaps Dilbert with an electric shock. Clouds of smoke rise from Dilbert's head and his clothes are charred. Dogbert says as he walks away, "Nothing annoys the 'Dog of Thunder' quite as much as nerd puns."
Thursday February 09,
1995
Tags fourth day, telecommuting, clothes useless, struck by question, monkeys, beards, discuss issue, attendance low, around table, introduce
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk at home. He is naked. He types in his daily log, "On my forth day of telecommuting I realize that clothes are totally unnecessary." Dilbert strokes his unshaven face and thinks, "Hey!" The log reads, "Suddenly I am struck by a question: why don't monkeys grow beards?" The log reads, "I call a meeting to discuss the issue but attendance is low." Dilbert sits at a conference table with Ratbert. Dilbert reads from a document, "Issue one: monkey beards." Ratbert says, "Let's go around the table and introduce ourselves."
Friday September 15,
1995
Tags time sheet, increments, 15 minutes, meetings, shower time thinking, designing circuits, complaining
Transcript
Dilbert hands his timesheet to a secretary and says, "Here's my timesheet, filled out in increments of fifteen minutes." Dilbert says, "As usual, I coded the useless hours spent in meetings as 'work,' whereas the time I spent in the shower designing circuits in my mind as 'non-work.'" Dilbert continues, "Interestingly, even the time I spend complaining about my lack of productivity is considered 'work.'" The secretary thinks, "I hate my life."


