Via Time Machine Comic Strips - Page 5

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View 41 - 50 results for via time machine comic strips. Discover the best "Via Time Machine" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustration, #mobile (cell) phones, #dead battery, #charge cell phone, #too busy, #no time

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Co-worker: You never answer when I call your cell. Wally: My battery is dead. Co-worker: Maybe you should charge it for once. Wally: I don't have time for that. Co-worker: What do you do all day that makes you so busy? Wally: For starters, I have this conversation a lot.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meetings, #attend presentation, #authorized, #poor notes, #wasting time, #right meeting

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Coworker: My boss asked me to attend your presentation on his behalf. I should warn you that I'm not authorized to make decisions, and I take poor notes. Dilbert: Okay. Let's begin wasting our time! Coworker: I"m not even sure I'm in the right meeting.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job description, #mindless zombie, #team work, #wate time, #tasks, #waste time, #never shows intitaive

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Wally: Should I waste my time doing tasks that are not in my job description? Or should I be a mindless zombie that shuns teamwork and never shows initiative? Take your time. I'm good either way.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meetings, #8am, #meeting, #useful work, #insulting, #good time management, #overlap, #business

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Coworker: Can you come to my meeting at 8am tomorrow? Dilbert: No. I reserve the first few hours of every morning for useful work. Coworker: That feels like an insult. Dilbert: I call it good time management. There's a lot of overlap.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #torso, #flattery, #expand, #pop, #Dilbert, #mollusks, #time

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The caption says, "After tugging a loose thread on his shirt . . ." Dilbert's head is missing. Dilbert kneels on the ground in front of Dogbert and says, "Do something." Dogbert says, "Hmm . . . Head got sucked into torso, huh?" Dogbert continues, "I'll try flattery . . . Your head will expand and pop right out . . ." Later, Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, ". . . And you are superior to mollusks in every way but looks . . ." Dilbert says, "I felt something that time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #dinosaur, #computer, #desk, #chair, #save, #time

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Dilbert sits at a desk working on his computer while Dawn and Bob the Dinosaurs watch. Dilbert says, "You dinosaurs have probably never seen a computer." Dilbert continues, "This makes me so efficient I can save hours every day." Bob asks, "What do you do with all the spare time?" Dilbert replies, "I work on the computer." Bob says, "Wow! Then you can save even more time!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #finance troll, #bad time, #report, #accounting, #Dilbert, #witch, #figures

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Dilbert: This must be the company accounting department. I... I need to ask some questions about this b-budget report. Dilbert: Is this a bad time for you? Accounting Witch: Always.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #garbage man, #die, #cloning, #machine, #design, #math, #errors, #Dogbert, #Dilbert

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The garbage man asks Dogbert, "Not much garbage . . . Did somebody die?" Dogbert replies, "Dilbert went to the compost pile in the sky." The garbage man reads a piece of paper and says, "Bad timing . . . Judging from last week's garbage, he had almost finished his cloning machine design. I only notice a few linear math errors." The garbage man continues, "This design would just create a hologram and a bad chile con carne recipe." Dogbert says, "Man, you sure know your garbage!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #sheep, #rancher, #worked, #asleep, #count, #sleep study, #Wally

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Dilbert and Wally stand in front of the coffee machine. Wally says, "I was a sheep rancher before I worked here." Dilbert asks, "How many sheep did you have?" Wally says, "I'm not sure . . ." Wally continues, "Every time I tried to count them, I feel asleep."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #great, #things, #dog, #nap, #time, #want, #tired, #hate, #life, #Dogbert

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Dogbert thinks, "One of the great things about being a dog is that we can take a nap any time we want." Dogbert continues thinking, "Sometimes we do it because we're tired." Dogbert lies on his back as Dilbert walks by carrying a briefcase. Dogbert thinks, "But mostly, we do it to make you hate your life."