Welcome Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

98 Results for Welcome

View 41 - 50 results for welcome comic strips. Discover the best "Welcome" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 1999's comic on:


Tags #mordac, #information services, #preventer, #computer, #pda, #catbird intervenes, #human rsources, #nework cable, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Mordac bursts into Dilbert's cubicle. Mordac says, "I am Mordac. the preventor of information services!" Mordac says, "I'll take your computer and your little PDA too!" Dilbert hugs his monitor. Mordac says, "Do you recognize this?" Mordac holds up a wire. Dilbert says, "Aaaagh! That's my network cable!" Dilbert says, "What do you want from me?!" Catbert leans over the cubicle wall. Catbert says, "Mordac, it is I catbert, the evil director of human resources!" Catbert jumps down onto Mordac. Catbert says, "You made my personal printer a shared device!" Dilbert watches a clothing flies. Dilbert is at home and says, to Dogbert, "Two wrongs made a right." Dogbert says, "Welcome to my reality."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 2003's comic on:


Tags #guest cartoonist, #nildo orbfutz, #consulting, #welocme, #breakroom, #on the job training

View Transcript

Transcript

"Who's today's guest cartoonist?" "At great expense, I've just hired Nildo Orbfutz as a consultant. He will increase our productivity hereby calculating how much time is actually wasted!" "Well, Nildo. How did you acquire your credentials? Degree in business management? HR? PR? Psychology?" "On-the-job training." "Let me guess: you've been fired from every job you ever had... for wasting time?" "Welcome to the wonderfuk world of consulting." "Answer: go to Dilbert.com."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 2003's comic on:


Tags #competitive strategies seminar, #house keeping, #energency, #stay seated, #no mens room

View Transcript

Transcript

"Welcome to the competitive strategies seminar." "First, some housekeeping. In the event of an emergency, stay seated so I'll have a clear path to the exit." "And... there is no men's room in the building as far as you know."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 17, 2004's comic on:


Tags #concierge, #hotel, #slave, #do naything, #oo much, #donate kidney, #kiss up, #over trained, #give pay

View Transcript

Transcript

Concierge: "Welcome to the Metrogarden hotel! How may I make your stay incredible?" "I would be delighted to iron your socks, examine you for suspicious moles or take a second job and give you my pay." Dilbert: "I think they over-trained you." "I'm shaved and preped to donate a kidney."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 2004's comic on:


Tags #school, #worthless sycophants, #head nodding, #beginners, #instructiosn, #class, #particpants, #education

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "Welcome to Dogbert's school for worthless sycophants." "Our first lesson is 'Head nodding for beginners.'" "Good good, now get ready to snap it forward."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 2004's comic on:


Tags #carol, #secreatry, #secret society, #executive secreataries, #rule the world, #own secreatries, #Women, #meeting, #take over the world, #evil overlords, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: welcome to the secret society of executive secretaries. Today we will wrest power from our evil overlords! Tomorrow we'll rule the world! Then connie pointed out that we'd need our own secretaries and the whole thing fell apart.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 2004's comic on:


Tags #socially obvious, #social defect., #change topic

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: welcome to dogcarts school for the socially oblivious. Today I'll pair with someone whose social defect will cancel out your own, woman: GAAA!! I keep trying to tap about my l=kids and you keep changing the topic to your self! Because Im fascinating.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 1999's comic on:


Tags #the hindenburg, #famous cigar shaped ballon, #thank alice, #theme, #choosing, #planning, #event, #enjoy film, #hidenburg, #the humanity, #detonate

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss standsa at a podium dressed in a costume that includes a large blimp attached to his head. The boss says, "Welcome..." The boss says, "To our annual employee meeting." Dilbert, Alice and Wally dressed in casual clothes listen. The boss says, "Our theme this year is "The hindenburg." The boss says, "...which I'm told was a famous cigar shaped balloon." The boss says, "Let's all thank Alice for choosing the theme and planning the event. Wally and Dilbert clap. The boss says, "Now please enjoy this film clip of the Hindenberg" The boss watches shocked. From the TV, "AAAgh! The humanity!" Wally says, "He's coming for you. Detonate his costume." Alice who holds a radio control says, "One, two..."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 2005's comic on:


Tags #paying for consulting, #no recommendations, #feel secure, #shaping strategies, #hate you, #feel good

View Transcript

Transcript

"I keep paying you for consulting, but you never make any recommendations." "I'm what you call a "feel good."" "My job is to make you feel secure in the knowledge that someone brilliant is shaping your strategies." "This is weird; I hate you, but at the same time I feel good." "You're welcome."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 22, 2005's comic on:


Tags #seminar, #difficult cowrokers, #groups, #quit job, #syndicated cartoonist

View Transcript

Transcript

Welcome to my seminar on dealing with difficult coworkers. "Difficult coworkers generally fall into one of these groups." LAZY MEAN SMART CRAZY "The only way to deal with them is to quit your job and become a syndicated cartoonist." "Thanks for coming."