Wide Transformation Comic Strips - Page 5
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102 Results for Wide Transformation
View 41 - 50 results for wide transformation comic strips. Discover the best "Wide Transformation" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday September 13,
1997
Tags #boss, #down in jet, #minor injuries, #saved by padding, #saved by prayer, #work great, #minor hair injuries, #100 nuns onboard, #nunnery, #not a lot of aerobics
Transcript
Alice throws her arms out wide and says, "Work has been great since our Boss went down in the jet!" Dilbert says, "Uh-oh." The Boss walks in, one side of his pointy hair bandaged. Alice and Dilbert are shocked. The Boss says, "I survived with only minor injuries. I was lucky to be on a flight that had a hundredd nuns onboard." Alice says, "You were saved by prayer?" The Boss replies, "No, padding. They don't do a lot of aerobics at the nunnery."
Friday November 21,
1997
Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #no contact, #employed, #Wally, #total loyalty
Transcript
Catbert says to Wally, "The company has no implied contract to keep you employed, Wally." Catbert says, "But we expect total loyalty out of you." Wally says, "I really, really wish you wouldn't do your face-stretching exercises here every morning." Catbert stretches his mouth out wide and thinks, "1-2-3..."
Wednesday November 18,
1998
Tags #unicorn horn, #Dilbert, #date, #sign of virility
Transcript
Dilbert is on a dinner date. Dilbert has a unicorn horn growing from his forehead. The date's eyes are wide from shock. Dilbert says, "Lately, I've been growing a unicorn horn." Dilbert says, "In some cultures, this would be a sign of great virility." The date has left Dilbert alone at the table. Dilbert thinks, "It's time to admit that I don't know what women want."
Saturday December 19,
1998
Tags #hate your plan, #real plan, #opposite, #nice worm, #offers worms
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of a room full of angry people. The people shout, "We hate your plan!!!" Dilbert stands next to the overhead projector an points to the wall onto which "Real Plan" has been projected. Dilbert says, "Good, because the REAL plan is the opposite of what I just showed you." The people remain with their mouths wide open. Dilbert holds a worm. Dilbert says, "Who wants a nice worm?"
Sunday August 25,
1996
Tags #accordingly, #decrease details, #greetings, #increase lies, #more funding, #need more funding, #variety super powers, #senior vice president
Transcript
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our senior vice president will be dropping in today." The Boss holds up a chart showing "lies" and "boss level." He says, "Remember to increase your lies accordingly." The Boss holds up a chart showing "details" and "boss level." He says, "And decrease the details you provide." The Boss continues, "If I think you're being too informative, I'll signal by fidgeting." The Boss continues, "Just say everything is fine, but we need more funding. Here he comes." The senior VP stands in the doorway and says, "Sorry I'm late. How is everyone?" Wally replies, "I'm not saying." Dilbert replies, "I'm fine, but I need more funding." Alice replies, "I have a wide variety of super powers." The senior VP thinks, "I feel a sudden, urgent need to unload my stock options." The Boss waves his arms and thinks, "Fidget fidget."
Sunday March 15,
1998
Tags #brand equity, #increasing skills, #kleenex engineers, #sneeze, #kleenex, #engineers
Transcript
Wally comes up behind Dilbert, who is sitting at his desk, and says, "While you toil in utter futility, I'm building my personal 'brand equity.'" Wally continues, "I'm increasing my skills and my contacts every day." Then, as Alice approaches, adds, "My goal is to becomes the 'Kleenex' of engineers!" Alice bumps into Wally, knocking the glasses off his face. She says, "'Scuse me, I have real work to do." Alice brings her hand to her mouth, as she says, "Ooh... sneeze coming." She opens her mouth wide, "Aaaah..." "CHOO!" She sneezes in Dilbert's cubicle and Wally's glasses go flying again. Wally is now gone. Alice and Dilbert remain. Alice tells Dilbert, "I think of Wally as the 'Kleenex' of engineers." Dilbert agrees, "Me too."
Friday June 11,
1999
Tags #internal email, #use integration, #leverage, #communication, #perjury
Transcript
Lawyer: can you explain the meaning of this internal email message? Dilbert: It says we'll "Use integration tools to leverage the utility of our enterprise- wide processes. Dilbert: It appears to be something we call communication. Lawyer: Perjury!
Friday July 09,
1999
Tags #Dogbert, #multi vendor processes, #oversized coffee mug, #perform exorcism, #posessed, #synergy, #reorg!
Transcript
Dogbert wears a crown and wand and stands in the doorway of the boss' office. Dilbert, Wally and Alice look through the window. Dogbert says, "I'm here to perform an exorcism." The boss opens his mouth wide and says, "Your mother implements multi-vendor processes without synergy!!" Dogbert points his wand to the boss' coffee cup and says, "Here's the problem someone gave you this oversized coffee mug." The boss says, "Reorg!!!" and his head starts to spin.
Friday September 20,
2002
Tags #woman, #peeved questions, #hostile, #personality disorder, #critical, #mean, #nasty
Transcript
The Boss introduces a woman to Dilbert, "Dilbert, meet a woman who acts peeved at any sort of question." Dilbert extends his hand and asks, "How are you?" The woman opens one eye very widely, "Poink." The woman exclaims, with one eye wide open and the other closed, "How am I???" Dilbert responds, "Wow. I gotta show this to Wally."
Thursday October 24,
2002
Tags #huge scam, #upcoming merger, #accretive earnings, #stcockholders
Transcript
Asok says to The Boss and Alice, "I worry that our upcoming merger is nothing but a huge scam on our stockholders." The Boss opens his mouth very wide and yells, "Buwaha-hahaha!!" The Boss says, "I mean.. It's accretive to earnings."