Wise Decisions Comic Strips - Page 5

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127 Results for Wise Decisions

View 41 - 50 results for wise decisions comic strips. Discover the best "Wise Decisions" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 2012's comic on:


Tags #smart people, #bad deciosns, #hubris, #prime candidate

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Boss: I've read that smart people make bad decisions because of their hubris. Catbert: Hubris? What is that? Boss: Beats me. But obviously I'm a prime candidate to get it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 2012's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #attend presentation, #authorized, #poor notes, #wasting time, #right meeting

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Coworker: My boss asked me to attend your presentation on his behalf. I should warn you that I'm not authorized to make decisions, and I take poor notes. Dilbert: Okay. Let's begin wasting our time! Coworker: I"m not even sure I'm in the right meeting.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 1989's comic on:


Tags #dog, #sarcasm, #wise, #wisdom, #animals

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Dilbert says, "You know what I just realized, Dogbert?" Dilbert continues, "The little hairs on the back of my hand - they never get any longer." Dogbert says, "Before I respond, just give me a moment to bask in the radiance of your wisdom."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #employee, #drug, #testing, #program, #turning, #positive, #Classic, #symptoms

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The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and a woman, "I'm discontinuing the employee drug testing program . . ." The Boss shows Dilbert a document and says, "Because my own tests keep turning out positive . . . Which makes me suspect that some wise guy has tampered with the medical computer." Dilbert says, "Denial and paranoia . . . Classic symptoms." Wally asks, "Is he 'high' right now?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #pencil, #excalibert, #sharpener, #corporate, #legend, #ceo, #grovel

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A man says to Dilbert, "You did it! You removed the pencil 'Excalibert' from the sharpener." The caption says, "As corporate legend required, Dilbert became CEO." Dilbert holds Excalibert and three men bow to him. The caption says, "He immediately set about the task of making important decisions." A woman hands Dilbert a list and says, "Here's the list of people who didn't grovel sufficiently."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #elbonians, #leader, #rebel, #diplomat, #peace, #mission, #rock, #pig, #varnish, #clams, #break

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An Elbonian lies face down in the mud. Another Elbonian man says to Dilbert, "You crushed our leader. Now YOU must be the new rebel leader." Dilbert replies, "I'm a diplomat, on a peace mission." The Elbonian says, "A wise Elbonian once said 'In a race between a rock and a pig, don't varnish your clams.'" Dilbert says, "That's stupid." The Elbonian crosses his arms and asks, "What kind of diplomat are you??" Dilbert replies, "First day on the job . . . Gimme a break."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 08, 1994's comic on:


Tags #actual fashion, #fridays, #garanimals, #new dress code, #scrutinized, #sears

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The Boss: The new dress code allows casual clothing on fridays. Wally and Dilbert: Gulp The Boss: You'll have to make actual fashion decisions that will be scrutinized by hundreds of your coworkers! wally: Im thinking "garanimals" form 'sears"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 31, 1994's comic on:


Tags #darwinian saga, #evolution, #invet computers, #ironic twist, #monkey, #own species, #tail, #animals

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Zimbu: Your big mistake, evolution wise, was inventing computers that are easier to use if you have a tail. Its an ironic twist in the darwinian saga, You've guaranteed the extinction of your own species. Dilbert: Stop working while In talking to you Zimbu!! Zimbu: I can hear the evolutionary clock...tick tick...tick...tick...

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 1994's comic on:


Tags #rock paper scissors, #project approved, #toss up, #random selection

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How Decisions Are Made The Boss: 1-2-3 Rock! scissors! The Boss: Your project is approved...unless scissors can't cut rock. Dilbert: assume its sheet rock.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 1994's comic on:


Tags #Cartoon, #cartoon on back, #hurts morale, #joke, #management decions, #take it down, #improvement

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The Boss: This cartoon seems to be saying that management decisions are a joke. Cartoons are not allowed on cubicles. It hurst morale, I don't want to see this when I return. The Boss: Ive noticed a real improvement in morale since you removed the cartoon.