Worlds Longest Joke Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

106 Results for Worlds Longest Joke

View 41 - 50 results for worlds longest joke comic strips. Discover the best "Worlds Longest Joke" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #news, #newspaper, #Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert holds up a newspaper and says to Dilbert, "Look! I've created the world's first completely reusable newspaper." Dilbert reads from the newspaper, "Pope denounces violence . . . Home prices rise . . . Unrest in the Mideast . . ." Dogbert says, "Generic news!" Dilbert reaches into his pocket and asks, "How much?" Dogbert holds out his paw and says, "A thousand bucks. You'll never need another one."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dinosaurs, #joke, #pun, #puns

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I can't believe it; all this time I thought dinosaurs were extinct, but they were just hiding in my house. Hello, A-1 Exterminator? I have dinosaurs... what kind?... I don't know. I've only heard them... Dinosaur: Thesaurus. Dilbert: Maybe a Thesaurus or two... hello?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pun, #puns, #joke, #joking, #dinosaur, #dinosaurs, #hiding

View Transcript

Transcript

Bob: Hey... you were right. Dinosaurs aren't extinct. I'm Bob. She's Dawn. We were hiding in your house. Dilbert: Only one kind of dinosaur could hide that well... Dawn: Correct: A Nobodysaurus.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #dinosaur, #joke, #carnivore, #robert, #cramp, #tail

View Transcript

Transcript

Dawn the Dinosaur points to Dilbert and says to Bob the Dinosaur, "You heard me, Robert. Eat him right this minute!" Bob says, "But . . . but." Dawn crosses her arms and says, "You call yourself a carnivore? Well, at least smite him with your mighty tail!" Bob looks sheepish. Dawn says to Dilbert, "And THIS will teach you not to mess with dinosaurs!" Bob rubs his tail and says, "Cramp . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #dinosaur, #carnivore, #joke, #bob

View Transcript

Transcript

Dawn the Dinosaur says to Dilbert, "Let's make a deal. You let us continue hiding in your house, and Bob won't hungrily devour you." Dilbert replies, "That's fair." Dilbert continues, "But I'm puzzled . . . I know that Dawn can avoid being seen because she is a Nobodysaurus, but how on earth did Bob go unnoticed all this time?" Bob points to his sneakers and says, "Tennies." Dawn says, "Old dinosaur trick."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #garbage man, #Dogbert, #glamour, #jobs, #choose, #smartest

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to the garbage man, "I understand you're the world's smartest garbage man." Dogbert continues, "I'm Dogbert, the world's smartest dog; according to me, anyway." Dogbert continues, "I just wondered why you choose to be a garbage man." The garbage man says, "I think it was the glamour which first intrigued me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #exploding, #cigars, #harmful, #inconclusive

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands at the counter in a joke store. The salesclerk says, "You might be interested in our exploding cigars." The clerk lights a cigar and says, "I'll fire one up just to show you . . ." The trick cigar explodes. Dilbert asks, "Aren't they harmful?" The clerk, who has burns on his face, replies, "Studies are inconclusive."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Wally, #Dilbert, #office joke

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says to Dilbert, "Hee hee! How many blondes does it take to change a tire?" Dilbert asks, "One?" Wally says, "No, thirty-seven to lift the car and one to pin the diaper on the tire!!" Wally laughs. Dilbert asks, "Couldn't they just use the jack?" Wally replies, "I wondered about that too."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #project, #cooler, #acronym, #joke, #anticipated, #beginning, #binders, #fulfilling, #Dogbert, #job

View Transcript

Transcript

"I was just reading your project status report." "You say the project is delayed 'due to the ongoing bungling of a clueless, pointy-haired individual.'" "Instead of saying 'due to', it would read better as 'facilitated by'."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no ring, #dilbert asks liz, #date, #pizza date, #after game, #big ring, #eunuchs, #special van, #flop sweat, #kidding, #joke, #gullible, #likes gullible

View Transcript

Transcript

"Liz, I noticed you're not wearing a ring. Would you like to go for a pizza after the game?" "Oh, I do have a ring. It's so big I can't wear it. A team of eunuchs follows me around with it in a special van." "Flop-sweat time." "You're gullible. I like that."