Zero Taxes Comic Strips - Page 5

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69 Results for Zero Taxes

View 41 - 50 results for zero taxes comic strips. Discover the best "Zero Taxes" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 1994's comic on:


Tags #dogbert teaches math, #cut staff, #bonus worth, #expense requiremnets, #calculated, #budget, #multiply by one, #doctor, #flashlight, #projections come from, #medical

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The caption says, "Dogbert teaches business math." Dogbert points to a diagram of an equation. A picture of Wally, Dilbert and Alice illustrates the equation, "Grunts equals zero." The caption says, "#1. Any job that can be done by two people . . ." The Boss stands behind two people. The caption continues, ". . . Can be done by one person for half the cost." The Boss yanks one of the workers out of his chair. The caption says, "#2. A bonus today is worth more than . . ." The Boss holds a large bag of money. The caption continues, ". . . The whole company tomorrow." An office building has a closed sign on it. The caption says, "#3. Your expense requirements for December can be calculated . . ." The Boss sits at his desk writing on a piece of paper. The caption continues, ". . . By taking what's left in the budget and multiplying by one." A delivery person asks the Boss, "Giraffe goes where?" Dogbert says, "Next week, a doctor with a flashlight shows us where sales projections come from."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 1996's comic on:


Tags #performance review, #daughter, #cub girl cookies, #volume level, #downsizer, #low performer, #fast tracker, #united way chairperson

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The Boss tells Dilbert, "I'll be writing your performance review this afternoon." The Boss continues, "But this morning I'm helping my daughter sell cub girl cookies." The Boss continues, "For your shopping convenience I have assigned a name to each volume level." Dilbert reads, "Zero to four boxes is the 'downsizer' volume . . ." Dilbert reads, "Five to eight boxes is the 'low performer' volume level." Dilbert writes on the order form and says, "Let's say six hundred boxes." The Boss says, "Ahh . . . The 'fast tracker.' An excellent choice." Dilbert asks, "What's your daughter's name?" The Boss says, "Ooh . . . Gotta go." Wally says, "I only bought twelve boxes. Now I'm the 'United Way' chairperson." Dilbert says, "I just signed your name for six hundred more."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 1999's comic on:


Tags #risk management assessment, #no risk, #managemnt, #add anything

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Alice says, to the boss, "As requested, I did a "risk management" assessment." Alice points to a picture of the boss with a zero over his head. Alice says, "I concluded that there was no risk of any management." Alice says, "Do you have anything to add?" The boss says, "I'll get back to you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 2000's comic on:


Tags #500 with tax, #complains about tax, #morale improvement award, #morale display

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The Boss says aloud, "The five hundred dollar morale improvement award goes to Ed." Shocked, Ed looks at the check and screams "Gaa!! It's only $240 after taxes!!!" Wally says to Dilbert, "So that's what good morale looks like." Dilbert replies, "Apparently we've had it the whole time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 2004's comic on:


Tags #ebitda, #acronyms, #made up

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"Hey, Dilbert, what are you doing for the Ebitda today?" "The what?" "Ebitda means the earnings before interest, taxes, depreciation, and um... Ammonia." "Are you sure about ammonia?" "Why must you be so accretive?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 2005's comic on:


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I need you to pick up Ted's function. "No problem. I have infinite capacity to do more work as long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero." "Or are you asking me to do something that's logically impossible?" "I think I hate you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 2013's comic on:


Tags #mathematics, #patents, #patent infreingement, #jury duty, #award

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Lawyer: A small company is suing us for patent infringement. We'll be fine unless the court somehow finds twelve citizens who aren't smart enough to get out of jury duty yet are inexplicably able to do math. Juror: We recommend an award of whatever the square root of 22 over zero is.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2013's comic on:


Tags #engineering experince, #job interview, #no friends, #social influence, #social media score

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The Boss; Your engineering looks great, but your social media score is nearly zero. You have no friends , no followers, and no social influence whatsoever. Man: because I four on my work! The Boss: No, Im pretty sure you're dead.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 2013's comic on:


Tags #monsters, #taxes, #tax code, #stanky, #monster, #tree deweller

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Dogbert: I'm looking for a monster named Stanky Bathurd. Monster: He's kind of busy rewriting the tax code to be more frustrating. Dogbert: I know. He hired me to help.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 2013's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #monsters, #taxes, #sadistic monster, #income tax code, #complicated, #regressive tax codes, #like minds

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Monster: The best part of being a sadistic monster is that my job is to write the income tax code. Look how complicated I made it. Hee hee! Dogbert: You do good work, Stanky. Monster: But is it regressive enough? Dogbert: It's like we share a brain because you keep saying what I'm thinking.