Five Percent Raise Comic Strips - Page 50

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

505 Results for Five Percent Raise

View 491 - 500 results for five percent raise comic strips. Discover the best "Five Percent Raise" comics from Dilbert.com.

Winners Never Quit

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Winners Never Quit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #inspirational quotes

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i'm not having much luck with my inspirational quotes, but i thought i would try one more time. the boss: "winners never quit, and quitters never win." dilbert: when ted quit, you gave him a raise to stay. the boss: these work better when you don't think about them.

New Cubicles

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Cubicles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #cubicle

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: are you enjoying your new cubicles? alice: my old cubicle had a window view. my new cubicle is in a windowless room with gray walls. it's always too cold, and i'm surrounded by noisy people i dislike. i feel anxious, unhealthy, and depressed all day long. thanks to the office relocation, my life has become a rapid descent into madness. boss: on the plus side, we saved five precent in rent. no one ever likes to hear about the plus side.

Asok Moves Into A Pod

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Moves Into A Pod - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2019's comic on:


Tags #employment, #finances, #home, #money, #office workers, #salary, #apartment

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Thanks to my raise, I can afford to move out of my home in the men's restroom stall and into a pod. Dilbert: A pod? Asok: A pod! Dilbert: Is it better than the stall? Asok: It's smaller, but better appointed.

Memory Science

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Memory Science - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 2019's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #memory, #office workers, #restaurant workers, #sarcasm, #science, #presentation

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: According to the science of memory, you are likely to forget ninety percent of what I present today. So I got rid of ninety percent of my slides to focus on the one slide that matters. Voice: Or were you too lazy to make more than one slide? Wally: I already forgot ninety percent of what you just said.

Wally Has Higher Income

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Has Higher Income - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 21, 2019's comic on:


Tags #lying, #managers & supervisors, #money, #office workers, #bribe, #salary

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Now that I'm the boss's new pet employee, my income is higher than ever. Dilbert: I didn't realize it came with a raise. Wally: It's more of an indirect thing. Man: I'll give you $100 to tell the boss good things about me. Wally: My price for lying is $200.

Juggling 17 Balls

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Juggling 17 Balls - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 2019's comic on:


Tags #comparison, #criticism, #employees, #office workers, #overwhelmed, #juggle

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I have too many projects. Boss: Pfft! If a juggler can juggle five balls at once, you can handle seventeen projects. Alice: But...no juggler can juggle seventeen balls at once. Boss: Not the lazy ones.

Your Real Scheme

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Your Real Scheme - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 2019's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #office, #business, #scheme, #power, #costs, #mind, #reader, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: and this method will reduce costs by thirty percent. ted: nice try, but i know your real scheme is to grab power. dilbert: you're not a good mind reader ted: and yet i knew you would say i can't read minds, explain that

Morning Meetings

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Morning Meetings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 05, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #morning, #effectiveness, #afternoon, #complain

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: my creativity energy is highest in the morning, but you always schedule our meetings then. your ill-timed meetings reduce my effectiveness by eighty percent. boss: what do you do in the afternoons? robert: i use that time to complain about my morning meetings.

Extra Dogbert Clone

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Extra Dogbert Clone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #marketing, #genius, #problem, #company, #situation, #clone, #blame

View Transcript

Transcript

the marketing genius dogbert: my genius alone will not be enough to fix the problems at this company. this looks like a five-dogbert situation. that is why i arranged to clone myself five times. boss: what's the extra clone for? dogbert: that one takes the blame.

Three Dogberts

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Three Dogberts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #Dogbert, #marketing, #plan, #clone, #singularity, #event, #book

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert on desk with three dogberts behind him: i've got three dogberts working on your marketing plan, but even that isn't enough. i'd bump it up to five dogcarts, but then we risk creating a singularity event. boss: i don't get it. dogbert: read a book.