Business Ethics Comic Strips - Page 50
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1000 Results for Business Ethics
View 491 - 500 results for business ethics comic strips. Discover the best "Business Ethics" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday March 28,
2008
Tags illusion of value, meeting, obvious, maintain illusion, business
Transcript
Dilbert: It's obvious what I need to do next. But I'll let you tell me so you can maintain the illusion of value. The Boss: stop being this way. Dilbert: I saw that coming a mile away."
Monday March 31,
2008
Tags coffee maker, meeting, not enough money, raise, too much, budget, business
Transcript
The boss: I'd like to give you a raise but I used the entire budget on a new coffee maker. It's a nice one.There's talk that I paid too much for you."
Friday April 18,
2008
Tags emotional investment, company, families, divorced, single, never been kissed, mission accomplished, business
Transcript
The Boss: I want you to have the same emotional investment in this company as you have with your families. Wally: I'm divorced. Dilbert: I'm single. Asok: "I have never been kissed. Wally: Mission accomplished.
Saturday April 19,
2008
Tags meeting, marketing, engineers, percentage increase, trivial base, stink eye, business
Transcript
Thanks to marketing. Sales have increased 100%! Dilbert: Question: are you asking a room full of engineers to be excited about a big percentage increase over a trivial base?" Ted You leave me no choice but to give you the stink eye. Dilbert: Ow! Ow! Make it stop!"
Friday April 25,
2008
Tags creature, employee, licks face, meeting, strategic alliance, tongue, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "We could only find one company in the galaxy willing to form a strategic alliance with us." The Boss says, "Admiral B'Tang-B'tang is here to describe how we can help each other." foop! The Boss says, "Stop saying 'foop', Ted."
Monday April 28,
2008
Tags planned merger, fast food chain, employees, source of protein, perfect situation, business
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I recommend we cancel our planned merger." Dilbert says, "They plan to open a chain of fast food restaurants using our employees as a source of protein." The Boss says, "If we always waited for the perfect situation, we'd never get anything done."
Tuesday April 29,
2008
Tags improbable solution, work problem, one million, business model
Transcript
Dilbert: I need an improbable solution to a work problem.Deus ex machina services. Dogbert says, "Sure. I charge one million dollars for each improbable solution." Dilbert says, "Okay, then I also need an improbable way to get things from you for free." Dogbert says, "Stop breaking my business model."
Sunday May 25,
2008
Tags engineers, hauled away, human resources, questioning mental stability, sealed in concrete, wrapped in plastic, bodies hidden, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "Go to human resources for a psychological evaluation." Dilbert says, "Why??? Have I said anything that is abnormal?" The Boss says, "You're an engineer. Everything you say is abnormal." Catbert says, "Question one: How many bodies are hidden in the crawl space under your house?" Dilbert says, "If they are hidden, how would I know?" Catbert says, "Well, maybe you would smell them." Dilbert says, "Not if they were wrapped in heavy plastic and sealed in concrete." Wally says, "How'd it go?" Dilbert says, "Not so good."
Thursday May 29,
2008
Tags evil director, human resources, evaluate job applicants, unqualified loser, nailing it, business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert: "I like to use role play to evaluate job applicants." Pretend you're an unqualified loser. Wow. You're totally nailing it."
Wednesday July 09,
2008
Tags dead squirrel, insulting, knitting sweater, makeup, meeting, no potential benefit, time management, time management expert, woman as example, hideous outfit, business
Transcript
Dogbert the Time Management Expert Dogbert says, "Never put time into an activity that has no potential benefit." Dogbert says, "For example, why bother putting on makeup if you're going to wear that hideous outfit?" Dogbert says, "That's like knitting a sweater for a dead squirrel."


