First Salesperson Comic Strips - Page 50

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

547 Results for First Salesperson

View 491 - 500 results for first salesperson comic strips. Discover the best "First Salesperson" comics from Dilbert.com.

Randy Sees Normals As Livestock

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Randy Sees Normals As Livestock - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #microchip, #technology, #nanotechnology, #ego, #cattle

View Transcript

Transcript

Randy: I am one of the first humans to have a microchip embedded in my brain. I'm so smart that you "normals" are like livestock to me now. Dilbert: We can't be that different. Randy: My chip translates everything you say to "moo."

Exposition

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Exposition - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #thinking, #brain, #nanotechnology, #microchip, #ego, #storytelling, #exposition

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Randy is one of the first humans with a microchip embedded in his brain. This new technology will change how we view the human experience. It will also ruin comic strips by filling them with too much exposition. Dogbert: The punc line is in the fourth panel.

Ceo Likes Asok's Presentation

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Likes Asok's Presentation  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #presentation, #public speaking, #powerpoint

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our CEO said he liked your presentation. Asok: He made me shut up and sit down before I got to my first slide. Boss: He's not a big fan of content.

Ted Promoted To Software Architect

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Promoted To Software Architect - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #manager, #Promotion, #intelligence, #logic, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I promoted Ted to software architect because he doesn't know how to code. At first I thought it was a bad idea. Then I remembered that sometimes monkeys are astronauts. Dilbert: You know the monkeys don't fly the rocket, right? Boss: And Ted won't be writing code.

Make It Hard To Uninstall

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Make It Hard To Uninstall - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customer service, #business strategy, #sales, #deception, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Don't focus so much on making the software do what our customers want it to do. Just make it hard for users to uninstall it. Dilbert: Why would they buy it in the first place? Boss: A big part of our strategy involves lying.

Dilbert Does Nothing Useful

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Does Nothing Useful - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #meaning, #meaningless, #motivation, #laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: All I did today was create a bunch of PowerPoint slides that no one will understand. But I got paid the same as if I had done something useful. Is this the first stage of becoming you? Wally: If you're lucky.

Repeating Your Point Too Much

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Repeating Your Point Too Much - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #body cam, #camera, #survillance, #insult, #rudeness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: According to my body cam playback, you have repeated your point twelve times. Maybe you could try saying other things for a few minutes. Man: I wasn't expecting you to be so rude. Dilbert: You're not the first to make that mistake.

Wally Pretends To Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Pretends To Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: If you need me, I'll be at my desk pretending to work. Alice: How long do you think you can get away with that? Wally: I wondered the same thing for the first fifteen years or so.

Arguing On Twitter With Facts

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Arguing On Twitter With Facts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #trolling, #troll, #social media, #argument, #logic, #reason, #arguing, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Watch me win this debate on Twitter by providing facts and logic. Now we wait for everyone in the world to change their minds. Dilbert: How's the first minute going? Boss: What is wrong with these monsters?!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #negotiation, #demand, #haggle, #prices, #pricing, #negotiate

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Negotiate with your vendor and get the price down. Dilbert: I don't know how to negotiate. I'm an engineer. Boss: It's simple. All you need to do is make an aggressive first demand and settle for less. Dilbert: How aggressive are we talking about here? Boss: The more aggressive the better. Dilbert: That doesn't sound right. Boss: Trust me. More is better. Dilbert: My opening demand is that you name me as a beneficiary on your life insurance police, mow my lawn, and die in traffic on the way home. Boss: You got the price down by 35 percent. Dilbert: I really hoped it wouldn't work.