Job Interview Comic Strips - Page 50

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

993 Results for Job Interview

View 491 - 500 results for job interview comic strips. Discover the best "Job Interview" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags personality predictor, judge career, dead end job, matches, lack of potential, sample question, angry loner, embezzler, lazy, label yourself

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: We'll be using the Dogbert personality predictor index to judge your career potential. Then we'll leave you in the dead end job that most closely matches your lack of potential. Here's a sample question... How would other people describe you? A)Angry loner B) embezzler C) lazy Dilbert: That's not enough choices! Dogbert: Says the angry loner. The Boss: You have thirty minutes to give yourself a label that will haunt you for the rest of your life. Wally: Would you say I'm more of an unidentified hominid or an inappropriate toucher?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags server, project, virtualization, rates, online, trouble ticket, scam, inside job

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: The server virtualization project is done, and there are no trouble tickets. My rates might seem steep, but remember, there are no trouble tickets. Dilbert: Our online trouble ticket system is broken."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags wally fired, exit interview, manipulation, rigged system, boss, exploding servers

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I don't hold any grudges about being fired for hanging a comic on the wall. The company will be fine without my secret and exclusive knowledge of the critical systems. If the framistan starts to gabol, just purge the cache within sixty seconds and the servers won't explode.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags firing, humorless stain, interview boss, soul of humanity, support thesis, worship satan

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: The Dogbert gazette is doing a story on your firing of an employee for posting a comic on the wall. I need some quotes that support my thesis of you being a humorless stain on the soul of humanity. Would you say you worship satan, or do you simply respect his nonsense approach to discipline?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags pro bono job, hit with suit, chair, dinosaur bob, liked it

View Transcript

Transcript

Bob The esquire dinosaur Bob: I slapped your ex boss with his own suit until he agreed to rehire you. Bob: It only took ten minutes to make him agree, and another hour to make him convince ne that he liked it. Bob: How much do I owe you for all the fun? Wally: This one is pro bono.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags 300 iq, computer, convincing people, desk, evil director, human resources, nobel prize, track record, unix, technology, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert, the evil director of human resources, posts a job opening. Requirements: Candidate must have an I.Q. of 300, two centuries of unix experience and a track record of winning nobel prizes. "90% of my job is convincing people they don't deserve theirs."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags 300 iq, immortality drug, impossible requirements, job interview, nobel peace prize, time machine, too old, two centuires, unix

View Transcript

Transcript

Old Man;I have all of the job requirements you're looking for." "I have an I.Q. of 300 several nobel prizes, and two centuries of unix experience, thanks to the time machine and immortality drug I invented. Catbert: That's a lot of words for 'too old.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags code monkey, dreams, evil director, less work, software simian, architect, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil director of human resources Wally: I'd like to change my job title to something with 'architect' in it. My dream is to do less work while allegedly being more valuable. Catbert: The best I can do is 'code monkey. Wally: How about 'software simian'?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags pronouned hay-soos, fixed eye sight, hair regrow, 40 shares, punch pilot light, ceo, team organizer

View Transcript

Transcript

Pronounced Hay-soos. Wally: The new team leader, Jesus, is gaining quite a following." He fixed my eyesight and made my hair regrow. I think he wants your job as CEO. For forty shares of stock, I could point him out at lunch. CEO: I'll punch his pilot light out!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags job interview, candidate, punched boss, whats needed, boss hater

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Alice, I want you to interview a job candidate. Let me know what you think. Alice: Why did you leave your last job? candidate: I punched my boss. Alice: He's exactly what we need."