Money Comic Strips - Page 50
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614 Results for Money
View 491 - 500 results for money comic strips. Discover the best "Money" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday March 11,
2015
How To Make Money While Adding No Value
Tags ceos, mentor, mentors, mentoring, protege, success, merit, qualification, luck money, wages, earning, earn, money, salary
Transcript
CEO Mentors Wally. CEO: How would you like me to mentor you, underling? Wally: Can you teach me how to make $25 million per year while adding no value to the company? CEO: I don't know how to teach you that. Wally: Was it all luck or did you have to kill people?
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday March 14,
2015
Wally Is Not Hungry To Succeed
Tags mentor, mentoring, protege, wages, executives, ceos, compensation, work ethic, success, money
Transcript
CEO: I've been mentoring you for a week. Do you feel different? Wally: Yes. Spending time with you makes me feel underpaid. CEO: And that makes you hungry to succeed? Wally: I don't even see how those things are connected.
Sunday March 15,
2015
Tags executives, ceos, raise, asking for a raise, compensation, money, wages, comparison, wage discrepancy, mansion
Transcript
Boss: I can only give you a 3% raise. If you want more, take it up with our CEO. Dilbert: I'd like to explain why I deserve more than a 3% raise. As a negotiating strategy, Dogbert will simultaneously read a media report about your lavish $85 million mansion. I invented three new technologies this year. Dogbert: "The toilets are solid gold." Dilbert: I wrote most of the code for our new product. Dogbert: "The helicopter pad is on the roof of the car museum." Dilbert: I worked eighty hours per week. Dogbert: "Every elevator has a full kitchen." Dilbert: I could earn more at Google or Apple... Dogbert: "Entire house rotates for optimal sun exposure." Dilbert: Do you see where I'm going with this? CEO: High-five?
Tuesday March 31,
2015
Tina Strings Economic Words Together
Tags economist, economy, deception, jargon, prediction, stock market, recession, money
Transcript
Wally The Chief Economist. Tina: My interview with you is live on the website. Nothing you said made sense, so I strung together a bunch of economic jargon and called it your forecast. One Month Later. Computer: Only one economist accurately predicted when this bubble would burst. Dilbert: Uh-oh.
Wednesday April 01,
2015
World's Greatest Economist
Tags coincidence, deception, economist, economy, money, random jargon, art, science
Transcript
Dilbert: You are being hailed as the best economist of our age because your random jargon turned out to mean something. Wally: That's nice, but as a professional economist, I only care if there is a cash award. Dilbert: The world's greatest economist should already be rich. Wally: It's more art than science.
Wednesday May 06,
2015
If You Double Your Productivity
Tags productivity, work ethic, reward, wages, double-standard, money
Transcript
Dilbert: If I double my productivity, will you double my pay? Boss: No, but it might increase my bonus. So go ahead. Dilbert: Let's forget I brought it up. Boss: You just earned a "lazy" on your next review.
Monday May 11,
2015
Living Under A Bridge
Tags debt, student loans, loans, salary, universities & colleges, money, wages
Transcript
Boss: I can offer you a starting salary of $34,000 per year. Man: My student loan debt is $200,000. I would have to live under a bridge and forage for food. Boss: Our bridges have good reputations. Man: I heard the same thing about my college.
Saturday June 27,
2015
Dogbert Advises Dilbert On Escaping
Tags identity, hacker, hacking, government, manhunt, technology, money, ruse, trick, greed, betrayal
Transcript
Dilbert: The government threatened to kill me if I don't sell them my anti-hacker app. Dogbert: You should change your identity, give me everything you own, and move to an undisclosed location. Dilbert: Will we have a secret way to stay in contact? Dogbert: You're becoming a burden.
Saturday July 11,
2015
Ceo Is Slave Owner
Tags slave, slaves, slavery, buying, pay, wages, housework, house servant, maid, maids, help, money
Transcript
Wally: I hear you're a slave owner now. CEO: No, nothing like that. All I did was buy some Elbonians on the Internet. Wally: Do they clean your house without pay? CEO: I assume they're a tidy people.
Tuesday July 14,
2015
How The Elbonians Spun It
Tags slavery, slave, slaves, semantics, owner, ownership, obliviousness, wages, money, pay, payment
Transcript
Dilbert: How's it going with the Elbonians you bought on the Internet? CEO: I had to set them free. Turns out it was slavery after all. Dilbert: You made them work without pay. CEO: Yeah, that's the spin they put on it, too.

