Told Everyone Comic Strips - Page 50

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

505 Results for Told Everyone

View 491 - 500 results for told everyone comic strips. Discover the best "Told Everyone" comics from Dilbert.com.

Assigning Dilbert To Project

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Assigning Dilbert To Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #network, #redesign, #project, #phase, #positive, #optimistic, #assign, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: dilbert, i'm assigning you to the network redesign project. dilbert: what phase is that project in? is it in the initial stage, in which everyone is feeling positive and optimistic? or is it in the middle phase, in which everyone is finding away and hating the other team members? boss: it's in the death spiral phase. everyone is trying to assign blame to someone they already hate. they requested that i add you to the team. dilbert: to save the project? boss: um...okay, sure.

Wally Makes A Suggestion

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Makes A Suggestion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #product idea, #idea, #debunk

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: did you see my brilliant product idea i emailed to you? boss: yes, i already debunked it in my mind. wally: perhaps you could share your reasons. boss: if it's such a great idea. why isn't someone else doing it? and if someone is already doing it, we are far too late. in order for your idea to be good, i would have to think you are smarter than everyone in the industry. and seriously, just look at you. anyone else have an idea? others: nope. nope, never. nope.

Still Get Paid

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Still Get Paid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #colleagues, #unreliable, #false, #true, #paid, #process, #believe, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: i've been keeping a running list, and it seems that 100% of the things you told me this year have been false. wally: and we both got paid, so what's your point? tina: i...don't know how to process that. wally: i'd tell you, but apparently you wouldn't believe me.

Everyone Is An Idiot

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Everyone Is An Idiot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #sarcasm, #world, #idiot, #serious

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: sometimes, asok, i think everyone in the world is an idiot except for you and me. asok: i can't tell if you are serious. alice: i guess it's down to just me.

Virus From Where

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Virus From Where - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #health & safety, #office workers, #virus, #beard, #fuzzy, #hat, #country, #release, #luxembourg, #elbonian

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: there's a new virus that kills everyone who doesn't have a beard and a tall, fuzzy hat. wally: what country would release a virus like that? elbonian man: i'm hearing bad things about luxembourg.

Pandemic Vacation Days

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Pandemic Vacation Days - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sarcasm, #technology, #company policy, #video conference, #vacation day, #vacation, #company rule, #pandemic, #go, #solve, #problem, #laptop

View Transcript

Transcript

boss and dilbert on video conference call. boss: human resources is on my back to make sure everyone uses their vacation days this year. it's a company rule. dilbert: what's the point of a vacation if we can't go anywhere because of the pandemic? boss: i'm only trying to solve my own problem here.

Closing Credits

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Closing Credits  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #closing credits, #finish, #zoom, #laptop, #goodbye, #people, #leave, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert on video conference call: okay, well, i see the closing credits scrolling by, so we must be done with our zoom call. voices from laptop: oh, i guess so. well, goodbye everyone. bye! dilbert: goodbye! dogbert: you added closing credits to a zoom call? dilbert: it's the only way to get people to leave.

Reschedule The Zoom Call

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Reschedule The Zoom Call - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #hear, #microphone, #broken, #reschedule, #zoom, #call, #laptop

View Transcript

Transcript

boss hosting video call. boss: hi, can everyone hear me? wally with laptop on bed: no, your microphone must be broken. we can't hear anything. boss: maybe i should just reschedule this zoom call. wally: that's how i'd play it.

Cut Pay For No Commute

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cut Pay For No Commute - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #video call, #commute, #employment, #wages, #reduce, #pocket, #stealing, #prison, #innocent, #laptop, #coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and boss on video call. boss: i've decided to reduce your pay because you no longer commute. when you pocket those savings, it is as if you are stealing from the company. dilbert: actually, it isn't like that at all. boss: everyone in prison says they're innocent too.

Wally's Advice

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #audience, #business, #complain, #connection, #droopy, #emotion, #emotional intelligence, #Entertainment, #hate, #medical, #persuasive, #problems, #sad, #sarcasm, #self-deprecating, #slide deck, #spouse, #technology, #tragic, #wife

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: if there anything i can do to make my slide deck more persuasive? wally: you need to make an emotional connection with your audience. start with a tragic personal story that makes everyone sad and droopy. then talk about your various medical problems, and don't spare the details. then complain about your wife because most people hate their spouses too, so they can relate. and don't spare the self-deprecating humor because everyone can relate to knowing you are a loser. boss: wow. thank you for that advice. i'll make those changes. dilbert: how much do you hate him? wally: it's more about my entertainment.