Being Doctor Comic Strips - Page 50

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595 Results for Being Doctor

View 491 - 500 results for being doctor comic strips. Discover the best "Being Doctor" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 1994's comic on:


Tags #imagine, #being a woman, #men in training, #people acknowledge, #can't find keys, #blouse falls off, #distorted view, #misogyny

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"In this sensitivity excercise, close your eyes and imagine how it feels to be a woman." "People acknowledge my existence. They smile for no reason and hold hte door open. I'm ...I'm popular." "I can't find my keys." "I'm never going back. I can't. I won't." "My blouse falls to the floor..." "Break! Break!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 1994's comic on:


Tags #rat, #mouse, #politically incorrect, #named in rats honor, #scuzzy, #suggestion

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Ratbert: "Why is that thing called a mouse and not a rat?" Ratbert: "At the risk of being labelled, quote, politically correct, unquote, I must object." "I demand to have something named in my honor! Dilbert: "What about the 'scuzzy' interface? Hee hee."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 1994's comic on:


Tags #canceling project, #cooler acronym, #anticipated move, #carry empty binders, #less fullfilling

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"I'm cancelling your project so I can give your funding to a project that has a much cooler acronym." "Ha! The joke's on you! I anticipated this move from the beginning and have done nothing but carry empty binders for weeks!" "Being good at your job is less fulfilling than you might think, Dogbert."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 1994's comic on:


Tags #difficult, #cooperate, #project success, #head is full, #birdseed, #pants glued, #soap carving

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Dilbert: Your department has a reputation for being difficult to work with. But I know we can cooperate to make my project a success. Man: Id love yo help but my head is full of birdseed and my pants are glued to this chair. Dilbert: I'll talk to your boss. Man: Good Luck. He's a soap carving.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 1994's comic on:


Tags #voice controlled computer, #envious, #mouse driven, #color printer denied, #delete a file, #curses

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wally: "?" Dilbert: "Expand...window." Wally: "Well, look who got a voice-controlled computer." Dilbert: "Insert...column." wally: "If I were a lesser engineer I might be envious." dilbert: "Add...row." Wally: "I don't mind using my prehistoric mouse-driven computer." "And I'm not bitter about my request for a color printer being denied." "At least I won't work all day then accidently..." "DELETE...A FILE!!" Dilbert: "#!@%%&" Wally: "Please...not in front of the computer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 1994's comic on:


Tags #world ends, #year 2000, #creator, #universe, #counting system, #round numbers, #feeling anxiety, #dog, #rat, #conversation, #animals

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Dogbert: "I'm predicting the world will end in the year 2000." "The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers." "So you really want to avoid being, let's say, in mobile home number 1,000,000 in the year 2000." Ratbert: "I'm feeling anxiety."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 1994's comic on:


Tags #business, #competition, #control, #deadbeats, #for scuccess, #mangers, #reorganize, #subgroup, #thrown out window, #whiners

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- How to reorganize for success Put All your deadbeats and whiners in one sub group. Deadbeats: we don't want to be a subgroup. -Give them a project that duplicates work being done by more competent people elsewhere in the company.- Soon, the manager of the competent people will find out you're duplicating his work. Man: You're on my turf Dogbert: Boo hoo - He'll make a play to get your project under his control.- Man: They should be transferred to my control. - Before you transfer the deadbeats. Give them high performance reviews to conceal your treachery Deadbeat: Godlike ? wow! Dogbert: I'll miss you. - In time, the manager who took your losers will fail, this decreasing competition for promotions. AAIIII!! Dogbert: Next week I'll discuss teamwork - the managers obstacle to success.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 1994's comic on:


Tags #broken fax, #copier, #electronic mail, #incompatible software, #lan rewired, #no toner, #technology

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"I tried to fax it but our fax machine is broken." "I would send it by modem but my communication software is incompatible with my new system software upgrade." "No...our electronic mail systems are incompatible." "Mail it?" "I've only got one copy and our copier is out of toner." "Well, normally I could print another one but our LAN is being rewired." "I could just read it to you." "I describe how technology improves our lives by...yeah, I'll hold." "Hello?" "Dang."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 1994's comic on:


Tags #evil demons, #stupidity, #saint dogbert, #image, #protect and wathc, #career change, #out demons of stupid

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Dogbert: "Is your job plagued by the evil demons of stupidity?" "Simply affix this image of Saint Dogbert to every document, cubicle or computer you want to protect and watch your career being to change!" "Out Out!! You demons of stupidity!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 1994's comic on:


Tags #transferred, #marketing, #slaps employee, #groggy, #disoriented, #fit in better, #business

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The Boss: Im sorry Dave, But your being transferred to marketing and theres no budget to train you as a marketer. Slap! Dave: where am I? I need a drink. The Boss: This is a temporary fix...but you'll fit in now.