Business People Comic Strips - Page 50
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1000 Results for Business People
View 491 - 500 results for business people comic strips. Discover the best "Business People" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday December 16,
2019
How Long It Will Take
Tags business, assignment, deadline, incompetence, meeting, co-workers, months
Transcript
boss: can you have it done in a week? dilbert: not if i have to work with other employees. given the galactic incompetence of my co-workers, it would probably take seven to non months. boss: i'll give you two weeks. dilbert: that's how long it will take to set up the first meeting.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday December 14,
2019
Denying Science
Tags business, technology, medical, antidepressants, product, science
Transcript
dogbert's tech support dogbert: i recommend taking powerful antidepressants. it won't make our product any easier to use, but maybe you won't care as much. of course it will work. sheesh! - deny science much?
Friday December 13,
2019
Blaming Climate Change
Tags business, technology, support, calls, product, flaw, climate, change, Environment
Transcript
dilbert: how are the tech support calls going? dogbert: great. i'm blaming all of our product flaws on climate change, and people are totally buying it. dilbert: that doesn't make sense. dogbert: you'd be surprised how little that matters.
Thursday December 12,
2019
Dogbert's Tech Support
Tags business, technology, office worker, product, climate, change, Environment, recycle
Transcript
Dogbert's tech support female office worker: i can't figure out how to use your product. dogbert: the problem is climate change. there is nothing you can do. office worker: there must be something i can do. dogbert's voice from phone: do you recycle?
Wednesday December 11,
2019
Saying You Are Dumb
Tags business, job, change, technology, dumb, imply, product
Transcript
dogbert's tech support ted: i can't figure out how to use your product. what should i do? dogbert: i recommend changing jobs to something less challenging. ted: are you saying i'm dumb? dogbert's once from phone: no. no. no. i'm only implying it.
Tuesday December 10,
2019
Adding Insult To Injury
Tags business, tech support, customer, calls, interface, reboot, idiot
Transcript
boss: i hired the dogbert tech support team to help with customer calls because our user interface is so sadistic. dilbert: wouldn't that be adding insult to injury? boss: how so? dogbert in a office at a desk yelling: try rebooting, you idiot. and don't call again!
Saturday December 07,
2019
Consider Polyamory
Tags psychology, relationships, office work, polyamory, girl friend, progress, business
Transcript
alice: have you ever considered trying polyamory? instead of not having one girl-friend, you could not have two. dilbert: that would feel like progress. alice: you're welcome.
Friday December 06,
2019
Others Have Failed
Tags office workers, idea, technology, rodent, insult, cheese, business
Transcript
male employee: your idea won't work because others have already tried it and failed. dilbert: others have tried different things that simply remind you of my idea. i mean, you remind me of a rodent, but that doesn't prove you like cheese. employee: i love cheese
Thursday December 05,
2019
Morning Meetings
Tags business, managers & supervisors, meetings, morning, effectiveness, afternoon, complain
Transcript
dilbert: my creativity energy is highest in the morning, but you always schedule our meetings then. your ill-timed meetings reduce my effectiveness by eighty percent. boss: what do you do in the afternoons? robert: i use that time to complain about my morning meetings.
Monday December 02,
2019
Tina Enters Coma
Tags office workers, business, technology, write, body, language, read
Transcript
tina the tech writer tina: in simple terms, tell me how the technology works, so i can write about it. one hour later dilbert pointing to flow chart: and that's how it all...uh-oh. if i am reading your body language correctly, you're saying i could have shortened that. continued...

