Ceo Comic Strips - Page 50

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

627 Results for Ceo

View 491 - 500 results for ceo comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"I don't understand what your department does, so I decided to eliminate it." "What if I explain what we do? Would you change your mind?" "I see you're not a big fan of decisiveness."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Our CEO is here to answer any of your questions about our restatement of earnings." "Will you return your $25,000,000 bonus from last year, now that you acknowledge it was unearned?" "And what's your name?" "Dilbert."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Tina, you were only supposed to document our product status, not rewrite the entire scope." "Our CEO loves the new project scope. We'll expect you to do that without extra resources." "Is this a 'neener-neener' situation or more of a 'Who's your daddy?'?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Executive Compensation Review Board "How much should we pay our CEO if he just shows up for work?" "FIFTY MILLION DOLLARS!!!" honk honk "The clown makes a good argument." "Aye!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"In order to make an informed decision, you would need to know as much as I know." "That's impossible. So instead, by mutual, implied agreement, I will feed you some lies that point you to the right decision." "If we don't upgrade our servers, a herd of trolls will attack headquarters." "No trolls!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Our CEO only has five minutes. Is that enough time for your PowerPoint presentation? "No. An incomplete explanation of the situation will cause massively harmful strategic choices." "What can we get for four-and-a-half minutes?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Our CEO got a $400,000,000 bonus this year. Can I get that too?" "Wally, he got that much because he's a million times more important than you." "Fair enough. Can I have the $400 that you say I'm worth?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, I have to let you go..." "Well, this was bound to happen." "I guess someone told you that I e-mailed our CEO and said you think his daughter looks like a chimp." "Or is it because I built a guest house from stolen office supplies?" "Maybe it's because you found out that I've been taking a dollar out of your desk every day for seven years." "Actually, I was trying to say I have to let you go to a training class." "Is it someplace nice?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags catch and release, ceo seminar, hurt fish, inform life, new spouse, philosophy, set free, spin off compnay, without making decisions, be decisive

View Transcript

Transcript

"Welcome to Dogbert's catch-and-release CEO seminar." "Catch-and-release is more than a way to hurt fish for entertainment." "It's a philosophy that will inform your entire life." "For example, when you acquire a new company, wait a few years and then spin it off." "When you catch a new spouse, wait a few years and then set it free." Boot! "When you golf, hit that ball into a hole and then take it out." "Your ultimate goal is to look decisive without making any real decisions." "Good seminar. It makes fishing more fun when you know it hurts them!" "Ouch!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's Seminar on Work-Life Balance "This is Allen. He didn't balance his work and personal lives." "Allen did nothing but work, work, work. And now look at him." "I'm the one who tried to balance everything. That's Allen. He's a @#!$% CEO now!"