Office Workers Comic Strips - Page 50

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Office Workers

View 491 - 500 results for office workers comic strips. Discover the best "Office Workers" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags time, time management

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: You asked for a breakdown of what I did this month. I wasted 25 percent of my time in useless meetings. I spent 33 percent of my time listening to co-workers complain about other co-workers. I used 11 percent to resend files I already sent. 14 percent went to dealing with a rumor you started by accident. 16 percent went toward working on the wrong things because you communicate poorly. Boss: What did you do with the 1 percent that was left? Dilbert: You just experienced it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags capitalism, big business, competition, benefit

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The company's goal is to make the world a better place. Dilbert: How does that square with our stated goal of destroying our competition? If we succeed, those people will be out of jobs. After we annihilate our competition, we can jack up our prices to monopoly levels and take advantage of our customers. Most of our profits go toward making the rich richer. We don't even pay taxes. Meanwhile, my co-workers and I will be living a life that has been stripped of all meaning. Is that what you had in mind by "Making the world a better place?" CEO: I didn't mean better for everyone.

Wally's Illusion Of Inefficiency

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Illusion Of Inefficiency - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, laziness, scam, efficience, culture

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I've noticed you don't work as much as your co-workers. That's an illusion caused by the combination of my efficiency and my modesty. Boss: So... you're getting your work done? Wally: Stop poisoning our culture with your distrust.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coworkers, workspace, noise, cubicle, open floorplan, etiquette, fingernails, toenails

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you finish the slide deck? Alice: I tried, but it was impossible. Some idiot in a nearby cubicle was clipping his nails. It was like torture. Clip, clip, clip, clip, clip. I couldn't think with that noise polluting the office air. I thought it ended, but then I heard some shoes and socks come off. It was my worst nightmare. Boss: Okay, whatever. Wally, did you finish your tasks? Wally: I tried, but then I notice that my nails were uneven.

Coworkers Hate Wally For Some Reason

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Coworkers Hate Wally For Some Reason - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, work ethic, excuses, ego, conceited, productivity

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: My co-workers don't take me seriously because I'm so good looking. And I think they hate me for my brilliant mind. All I know is that they hate me. So if I seem unproductive, it's because of my beauty and brilliance.

Company Policy About Dating

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Company Policy About Dating - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, relationships, office romance, policy, legal issues, human resources, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Rumor has it that you are dating a co-worker named Loud Howard. Company policy requires you to register your lustful feelings with our legal department. Lawyer: Okay, I think we have you covered, but the stapling phase will sting a little.

Tina's Office Romance Not A Secret

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina's Office Romance Not A Secret - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags secret, relationship, dating, clues, sleuting, loud, shouting, relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: How's your office romance with Loud Howard coming along? Tina: How did you hear about us? Alice: He's loud and you're always covered with his spittle. Tina: I was hoping it looked like perspiration.

Loud Howard And Tina Have A Romance

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Loud Howard And Tina Have A Romance - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags romance, relationships, dating, secret, speaking, loud, shouting

View Transcript

Transcript

Loud Howard. Tina: We must keep our office romance a secret. Howard: I won't tell anyone about us, Tina!!!! Dilbert: You have a bad case of Loud Howard hair. But what does the extra spittle mean? Hmmm... Tina: Grrrr...

Ted Is Not That Dumb

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Is Not That Dumb - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags joke, mean, bully, insult, death, idiot, idiocy, stupid, dumb, guest artist, brenna thummler, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You're not allowed to tell co-workers to drive into a ravine. Dilbert: It was a joke. Ted isn't so dumb that he would do it. Ask him if he's that dumb. Boss: Don't speak ill of the dead.

Humans Hold Domininion

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Humans Hold Domininion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags temperature, humans, nature, thermostat, robots, technology, evolution, fragility

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My brain won't work when the office is warmer than 72. Carol: It has to be at least 74 or I'll freeze. Robot: What's it like to hold dominion over the Earth within a narrow band of temperatures that can't coexist? Dilbert: Was that a joke? Carol: I'm too cold to think?